Betul- Betul Kerja Tangan Ghaib

Source: https://ratkin442.files.wordpress.com

Kamu yang ada agama, yg sembayang selalu or sekali sekala, sia mau tanya, do you really believe in God's punya kerja dalam hidup kamu seharian? Adakah kamu sembayang sebab sudah diajar begitu dari kecil, or kamu memang expect untuk nampak God's participation dalam hari2 kamu? Maybe it's nothing surprising juga la bila sia tulis macam ni sebab mimang sia selalu mention pasal kerja "tangan ghaib" ni. 

Anyway, yes, sia pun pernah miss juga sembayang. Tapi bila sia sembayang, mesti sia mention about guidance. Sebab sia ni adalah insan yang lemah, selalu bikin silap. Sia harap yang sia akan dapat guidance yang God kirim melalui kejadian or orang2 keliling sia. So, now Januari 2022, guess what, terjadi sesuatu yg betul2 bikin sia terkejut dan slowly sia realize betapa besarnya blessing yang sia dapat.

Kamu besa dengar word Wind of Change ba kan tajuk lagu? Anggap la perubahan yang berlaku tu adalah Wind of  Change yang TIDAK SAMA SEKALI adalah perbuatan sia sendiri. Imagine la sia dalam ship yang bergerak di air yg tenang, yang sia sendiri selesa begitu. Begitu la lama sia punya keselesaan tu, suddenly datang ni Wind of Change yg bikin kapal sia telah menukar haluan tanpa sia mau or tanpa sia bersedia. YES. So it's not my own doing. It's si tangan ghaib yang di atas. Teda penjelasan lain lagi. 

Sia sempat takut dan cemas. Sia sempat kena serang panic attack lagi mau pikir pi mana ship sia ni akan pegi. Adaka dia akan pegi ke tempat yg lagi ok atau sebaliknya? Tanda tanya tu tetap ada. Tapi sia nda buli menafikan, semakin sia celikkan mata hati sia, semakin sia nampak ATURAN yang begitu cantik dia bikin. Sebab selama sia selesa tu, dia kasi sia masa untuk prepare. Now sia actually sudah more than prepared, cuma sia teda tu courage ja. Nahhh, ni kali lah. Dia kasi hembus tu Wind of Change, sia teda choice kan? Nahh itu maciam la cara dia kasi sia guidance yang selalu sia sebut dalam doa sia. Dia FORCE sia ubah haluan sebab itu caranya untuk sia buli grow. Not just grow, but SOAR AND ROAR!

Oh My Goodness. Sia betul2 in awe. Kagum dan terpaku. Jangan la kita manusia ni mau cuba2 la kan. Sepintar2 kita, sehebat2 kita, teda buli lawan campurtangan si tangan ghaib tu. Sebab kalau ikut batas akal kita, memang sampai mana ja kan. Sia betul2 bersyukur sebab not just me, tapi orang sekeliling sia pun buli nampak tu betapa semuanya berlaku pada timing yg ngam. Oh My God. Again, sia betul2 kagum o. And ini adalah satu permulaan yang hebat untuk sia. 

Thank you Lord. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm Letting You Go

Earlier this year, my parents decided to do house-cleaning at our other home. So they brought back a few bags and boxes and asked us to choose which to keep and which to throw away. I was so smitten and delighted to find what's inside them. Whoa. My old things that I have forgotten cos I thought I lost them all. Old pictures, cards, gifts, badges, nametags, frames, books, cassettes and many others. If you ask me, these were once my treasure, and still are.

So still, I picked only 30% of them. The rest, I decided to leave them in the boxes and understood that they gonna end up in the garbage bin. Among the things I save is a lyrics log book that I wrote back in secondary school. I remember I was known for my lyric books. I just love songs that much actually. So I decided to keep the book thinking that one day, I might be in the mood to reminisce the old days and have sthing to giggle about. Same with the other things. I thought that they might be useful one fine day when I get all sentimental about the past. Question is, when is that day? Will it ever come? 

Back to reality at hands, even during MCO 3 that has been going on for more than a month now, I have all the time in the world. But what did I do? Almost nothing. I was busy entertaining my thoughts, my moods, looking for things on the net and other things. My room is literally getting smaller. I have less floor to walk on and suddenly it just knocks me. I CAN'T KEEP EVERYTHING. I have 2 bulks of nice clothes that I decided to keep away because my wardrobe just couldn't hold that many. I keep buying new clothes, and my older clothes keep getting in the way. I don't want to be seen wearing the same old things I wore years ago. I mean, WHY should I? The new clothes are wearing to be worn. The bigger question is, until when that I must still hold on to the values of the materials that are once meaningful to me when I still keep looking for new things to own. 

Do you guys get the point? No one's getting younger, right? We only head to the future. We are losing a year in our life everytime. How much forward to I have to look for to have the time to sit and recall the past for the sake of old memories. I realize now that as much as I want to do that, I just don't have the capacity to carry them all. So yesterday, I decided to just throw away the stuff I saved from the old boxes. I have to let them go. They had their time in my life. I must let go of these baggages, because my attitude in keeping the old stuff, reflects how clingy I was to my past feelings. I gotta stop all this. I REALLY DO.

So call that a newly-found wisdom. I wish to unlock more. New memories, my present, my future are dedicated for you. Goodbye PAST. Sorry, I'm letting you go. 

Kaya Itu Bahagia?

Source: positivesharing.com

Whoever says that Money can't buy happiness, definitely doesn't know how to spend money. Kita besa dengar ni kan? And yes, most of us agree sebab banyak masalah hidup berpunca dari duit yg nda cukup. So bukan kah nyata yang kalau ada duit, banyak masalah akan selesai? Dan bukankah masalah selesai ertinya bahagia?

Just now dalam wasap group bff sia, 2 of them bersuara about situasi dorang yang sangat2 terrible hari ni. Betul2 down. Betul2 unmotivated. Mood yang sangat teruk. One of them sampai menangis di tengah2 zoom meeting (off mic of course) sebab dia sudah ndatau camana mau express. Maybe dia rasa nda terkejar terlalu banyak benda yang dia mau achieve. The other one pula lebih severe situasi dia. Masa2 tengah drive, dia boleh breakdown and suddenly TIRED and drained pasal life dia. Sampai dia buli terpikir, kalau suddenly dia accident masa tu and hilang nyawa, mesti berakhir semua ni. Kami tekejut sebab a bit too extreme fikiran dia kali ni tapi somehow sia faham juga wild thoughts yang buli terlintas di fikiran kita when kita feel down. 

For your info, 2 kawan sia ni adalah category T20 yang mampu kasi sedia kehidupan yang selesa. Both ada family, ada kids, and hubby yang commited sama family dan kerja yang bagus. Dorang ni dari zaman matrix memang jenis berwawasan. Apa yang dorang ada hari ni setimpal sama kelayakan dorang. So untuk datang ke satu point yang dorang rasa mau give up live, of course orang akan tanya, KENAPA? Kenapa dengan kekayaan yang kamu ada, kamu masih tidak bahagia?

Tadi terbaca berita pasal aktress Indo Nia Ramadhani sama laki dia, kedapatan memiliki dadah and mengaku sudah terjebak dengan dadah sejak 5 bulan lalu gara2 tertekan dengan situasi pandemik yang ada sekarang. Laki si Nia tu antara orang terkaya di Indo. Ada anak2 yang comel dan sihat. Kekayaan yang semacam itu, kompom la nasib dorang nda serupa sama orang2 yang kelaparan sebab kehilangan kerja, hidup gelandangan sebab teda rumah dan teda la dorang dengar tangisan anak2 dorang yang mau susu atau menggigil kesejukan di musim2 pandemik yang sangat sukar ni.

Sebenarnya kita sudah tau tapi kita lupa. Walaupun miskin itu biasanya sengsara, KAYA itu tidak semestinya bahagia. Bukan untuk kasi sedap hati mentang2 la sendiri nda kaya, lepas tu saja ja mau cari point utk kasi jatuh orang yang kaya. No. It's reality, ladies and gents. Mungkin financial status kita berbeza. Tapi demand hidup kita pun berbeza. Mungkin  sebab orang kaya tu mampu, dorang cuma mau ada Ferari baru dikira happy. Tapi orang yang biasa2, ada motor pun happy sebab mudahkan perjalanan pi tempat kerja. Jadi Bahagia itu kompom la bukan diukur sama berapa banyak duit yg kau ada, tapi sejauh mana kemahuan hati kau dapat kau penuhi.

Mungkin kita perlu consider KESEDERHANAAN itu juga satu KEKAYAAN. Sebab orang2 yang sederhana ni permintaan dorang tidak membebankan diri dorang. As for orang kaya, sia sendiri pun belum pernah rasa jadi orang kaya, TAPI sia pernah terpikir yang jadi KAYA itu menakutkan. Sia takut sia tidak nampak nilai benda2 yang berharga untuk sia sekarang. Sia takut hilang nikmat menghargai benda2 kecil dalam life yang mampu buat sia happy. Sia takut sia tidak akan berpikir macam cara sia berpikir sekarang yang tau nilai usaha dan penat lelah untuk earn money yang tidak seberapa dan tau nilai setiap sen dan ringgit. Tapi sia suka merasa kehidupan dengan cara gitu. I seriously do. Sia takut nanti sia kaya, benda tu semua jadi remeh. Sia akan jadi manusia yang susah puas dan susah menghargai. Tapi sukur kalau la berpeluang menjadi mampu, boleh memberi sama yang susah. Senang cakap, nda kisah apa status kewangan kita, kita kena fix kita punya happy points. Biarlah kaya atau tidak, bahagia itu FREE kan? Jadi kita kejar seja tu bahagia dalam apa keadaan sekali pun. 

Kadang2 kau berada di satu sudut hidup kau yg hanya perlukan kehadiran kawan2 kau untuk buat kau rasa bahagia dan cukup untuk survive detik itu. Jadi sekaya mana pun kau, jangan lupa yang duit tidak menjadikan kau kebal sama masalah hidup. So tidak payah la terlampau sangat mengejar itu kekayaan sampai akhirnya itu kekayaan ja yang kau ada. Biarlah biasa-biasanya ja, yang penting dulu-duluan itu bahagia :)) 

"Bukan Level Kita"

These days kan, sia banyak reject kerja. Sampai kawan2 sia pelik. Sandi juga si 256 ni? Memang susah mau elak apa pandangan orang sama apa yang kita bikin. But we cannot blame them. You know what? Sebab dorang bukan ada di sana bila semua ni bermula. 

Dulu sia pun pernah fikir kawan sia macam tu. Dia lagi senior dari sia. Tapi dia memang memilih kerja. Kalau setakat kerja remeh2 dia ndamau bikin. Sekali imbas macam dia ndamau kalau setakat yang upah murah2. Salahkah untuk dia buat gitu? Pada masa tu sia rasa dia Mengada, Tinggi diri, dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Or dengan perumpamaan yang lebih kasar, "Macam la bagus sangat. Apa lagi kalau yang menilai kita tu lebih berduit dari kita, nampak pula kita reject2 kerja, dorang mesti rasa kita si miskin yang sombong. Hahahahaa. Well, maybe ada betulnya cos kerja kami ni memang bukan bikin kaya pun.

Tapi let me just tell you. Sia sudah pernah rasa jadi beginner. Harga yang sia letak untuk masa dan tenaga sia betul2 serendah yang mungkin. Sia beralah demi mencari pengalaman. Sia rasa diri sia sangat kerdil masa tu. Tapi orang2 ni tidak tau camana sia bermula. Jerih payah sia masa tu, cuma sia ja tau. Sampai ada customer cakap, "Kau caj terlampau murah ni. Kasi up sikit caj kau." Dia pun kesian sama sia tu masa, sebab seolah-olah tenaga dan masa sia teda harga.

So selepas bertahun-tahun dengan progress yang sikit2, sia finally faham kenapa kawan sia yang senior tu cakap "Bukan level kita lagi yang bikin kerja ni". Masa tu sia disagree with him. Sedar nda sedar, sia slowly becomes like him. Sia memilih sudah. But wait, sia memilih ni bukan perkara baru. Sia sudah start bikin ni sejak a few years ago. Customers yang sudah bikin masalah sama sia, sia reject. So you know, duluan lagi sia pilih moral values daripada untung. 

Tapi sekarang, sia tambah kriteria untuk memilih. Iaitu, "Is it worth my time?"

So lets make it simple. I know I've done it so many times. Sia sudah pernah berjaga sampai malam, berwasap sama customers hanya untuk benda yang sepatutnya simple. But semua kesabaran sia, keikhlasan sia, sudah sia curahkan bertahun2 untuk customers2 sia yang sia betul2 hargai. Tapi betul kawan sia bilang, sebab benda tu kita sudah terlampau banyak kali bikin, tiba masanya benda tu dibuat oleh dorang2 yang baru start macam kami dulu. Bukan pasal kami bagus, tapi it's natural to pilih apa yang deserve energy and masa kita yang makin banyak komitment dalam kepala seiring sama umur yg meningkat. 

Macamana pun, sia tetap akan bikin juga kerja2 gitu kalau masa tu mengizinkan. Sia masih tidak jera untuk mudahkan kerja customers2 sia. Cuma kekangan tu sia akur. If you ask me, sia masih mau tu semangat berkobar yang sia ada masa sia mula kerja. But guys, kita semua rasa impact pandemik ni. Biasalah bila rasa lost kejap. Mau rebuild tu semangat dan macam2 lagi "kerja dalaman" yang perlu dibuat iaitu mental dan emosi tu kena recharge biarpun sometimes rasa weak. 

Lets not give up, ok? Get up dari teruskan perjuangan.

The Seesaw of Life

I will now start talking snapshot from Facebook because some of the things I share there are useful and should be in this blog but I just could not have time for everything so now Share is a bigger word! Now my interesting Fb activities will go to my blog! *giggles.

Why I Say I Have What They Say I Don’t - L.I.F.E

This is a post of Arguments. Arguments about trying to prove to those people who might say that “256 DOESN’T HAVE A LIFE.” *LOLS. eRKS! It’s not funny!! Ok, serious now! Heehehe.

Sometimes I try to compare with people. When I open Fb pages, I saw people are having fun. They have parties here and there, wearing nice hot clothes and makeover to make them presentable at the gathering they attended. I mean, the pics alone are enuff to show that they were having fun. I honestly say that I don’t have pics like that. I don’t wear fancy clothes with string and laces and daring makeover on my face; simply because I don’t do clubbing. I don’t have cool pictures posing with the nice green bottle of Carlsberg – because I don’t do alcohol. I don’t have pics of natural hangover on my face or any crazy poses that I might accidentally do while having fun. NO. I don’t do all that. So you know, these people could simply stone me to death with – 256, You have No Life. Erks..!!!

As a matter of fact, if this is what you guys call LIFE, I have many chances where people tried to BRING THAT LIFE to me by suggesting me to TRY that lifestyle that I never belong to. I mean, the door has been opened to me since schooldays. I have spent being away from home for so long, I’ve been to the town full of entertainments like KL, where I had freedom to do what I wanted. Until today when I am already in the working world, I have friends who keep inviting me to join them. I have customers who offer me afterwork activities that some of you might not resist if you were me. STILL, Here I am. Still “LIFELESS”. *LOLS.

My life isn’t as good as some people who have everything. My life is very moderate. Yes, I dedicate most of my time for work. You guys hear me saying things about work, from daytime to nitetime. I mean, garsh, 256’s life is made of nothing but works…And her neverending stupid theories about life, still unproven and overrated. Erks? (*LOLS) Hey! Don’t You Dare!~ Hahahahaha.

Look. I am not here denying anything. Maybe you guys are right about something when you say that I have no life. I’m sorry that you guys have to see it that way. I know my work is the main cause why my life is NULL. People’s general idea about those who have life is when they have fun. Why, how sure are you that I’m not having fun with my life? That’s the thing that made it so hard for me to agree because – My Work is MY PASSION. I have seen people who have no passions –they always complain about life being boring and all that. Gosh. Do you guys know that it’s VERY RARE that I complain about boredom? Do guys know that THIS PASSION that I have for my work – I would even do this job with or without income? But now I am getting payment for doing it? You understand what passion is? Passion is what makes you FIERY and excited to wake up in the morning and go to work. Passion is what makes you on the go that you are always restless. Passion is when you can fall many times but you care enough to get up and continue doing what you believe. YES, I HAVE THAT.

This passion that I have creates a wondrous world of possibilities for me. Matched with God-given gifts that allow me to use my passion to CREATE what I want. I am too busy enjoying THIS. It would be unfair for me to be doing what some of you been doing because I’m given ways to MAKE A LIFE and you have yours. I can’t have mine and have yours at the same time. It’s not fair. So as much as I want to stone myself with the stones carved with “You Have No Life”, I could not find a reason to do that because I AM HAPPY with this life I have. I don’t regret that I don’t accept invitations to be part of that lifestyle, NOT because I am NOT able to, but I CHOOSE NOT TO. I have chosen a lifestyle different from yours.

If you think I am less fun because I don’t go clubbing or meeting fun people everyday, meet me first and you’ll know. What I could be doing while they are busy partying is I READ and I ANALYZE people – and those who come to me for my unpaid partime work as a counselor or stress therapist – they helped me to BE IN YOUR LIFE, the kind of life that I could never be part of. I talked to many people that I thought I have been reborn for so many times because everytime they open their stories, I feel like walking in their shoes. My ability to listen and understand, with some compassion, curiosity and reliability, I thought I already learnt THOSE LIVES. Altho it’s nothing like the real thing, but seriously, I am realistic about my humanly capability to have 1 and only 1 life with this breath. Every path that we lead will have joys and tears and it doesn’t matter what life does to you, WHAT MATTERS IS YOU KNOW WHAT TO TAKE.

I AM NOT GREEDY so I take the maximum pleasure of being in this life that I am, doing what I like and to have the ability to give something back to others – you have no idea how delighted I am. Now you know how I see things, I don’t think you bother to stone me anymore. You know I am just stubborn. Every path we choose, we have a price to pay. I am paying slowly but it’s worth every penny.

I have seen people who are considered “BORING” to me since they have no passion to keep them excited, yet who am I to judge them. I’m sure God gives them something else that balances their lack of interest. I don’t believe that God is ever so cruel to some of us. Just that we are too humane to understand and see everything the way He does. We know what are our priorities and IT’S TIME to make THE LIFE that we want with all these “equipments” we have.

Colour life with good family bonds, friendship, relationship, crushes and life’s solved problems – I have all those too. I groom and do what I like with my hair too. I am also exploring possibilities with myself and doing new things that I consider in my zone. So how can you say I have no Life? Suddenly I hear a voice saying, “We never say that!!” I mean, OMG, you didn’t? Hahahahahaa. Our opinions about other people’s lives and how they do things with their lives – will not make our lives better and theirs worse. It’s just the state of mind. It’s better that we concentrate living our lives. Whatever we do, do the right thing. No rooms for regrets.

NOTE: To be fair, I will open myself to challenges. Your life isn’t bad at all, it looks like fun. I might pay “a visit” sooner or later, but do the same to my life, you’ll see that my life isn’t so bad after all. :)))