"You've Changed Me"

A few days ago, I had a talk with a guyfriend. Out of nowhere, he brought up this matter. He said to me that, “I think I’ve changed.” And the way he said it, he was happy with the changes. Then I remember asking, “In what way?” He said he couldn’t explain.

Though I was curious to know in what way that he thought he has changed, but it was the least that I thought it has anything to do with me. Until he finally said,

“It’s you that changed me.”

That’s the sweetest part. *giggles.

I don’t know if he knows what I feel when he said something like that. So because I didn’t recall telling him, so I’m telling now.

I associate with people at the level that I’m comfortable with. You can’t say that I try very hard or I don’t try at all – to make a friendship work. It’s always just as much as I’m capable of giving. You want to talk, I talk if I have the time. You want ears, I’ll lend mine. You want to discuss something, I’ll sit down and discuss with you if I can spare some time for it. It’s always about how much we can freely give way to the other person for friendship. So from this, you know that I can’t be trying too hard to be Miss Friendship in someone else’s eyes. I also have my day job, I also need my rest, and I also have my problems to take care of. I can’t dedicate myself to be the best friend my friend could wish for. I can only do so much at my level best. So knowing that I have all that limitation and still someone thinks that I am a lot more than just a passer-by in a friendship, I feel so honoured. I feel like although how hopeless or helpless I feel sometimes, who would have guessed that actually I do matter to some people. If some people could still think of me, miss me or even remembering my little ways – then I ask myself – if people can appreciate me, how far hopeless or helpless that I could become? Suddenly it’s another reason for me to love myself.

Then when it comes to the question when people get inspired by you, to the extent that they think they change to better because of you, imagine how rewarding is that.

It’s after all, what being friends should be right? We make each other a better person. If you can put that as an aim, imagine what world would we make.

Now I agree all over again that it’s sometimes through our friends’ eyes that we can see what a worthy human being we are.

I might not see what my problems make me. I might not see what my bitter experiences teach me. I might not see if crying over something does give me something else more than pain and sadness – but finally it’s a friend that would tell me that all those makes me a better Friend…as a reflection that I am now a better person because I have survived the hardship. And surely stronger to survive many more in the future.

Keep changing for the better, my dear friends :)