“Ridiculous Years Spent With You…”

Do you believe that the longer the relationship is, the better?

We heard all the ridiculous years people spent being in relationship and in many cases, the partner in crime in that long relationship isn’t the one they walk the aisle with. I think it’s the right question to ask if all the years actually matter to a relationship that works? I mean, 1 year? That’s not long enough baby. You need more than that. 2 years? Aha, that sounds better. But try more. 5 years? Yup…that sounds like you guys are now totally connected to each other. Freaking kidding me. You’ve worked your bump off in the freaking 5 years, to make a relationship work, just to see it all come crushing down. How come? So cut the crap. Sorry to say, maybe you should slow down on the math. Maybe numbers don’t work around here people. What do you say?

People who have walked into a relationship with a big smile and walked out with tears, after spending so many years growing love and affection, understand what I’m talking about. Suddenly the numbers become irrelevant. To hell with 5 years! We are not here to race who can sustain to be in a relationship the longest – cos at the end of the day, if something goes wrong, the years are exactly how long you’ve been stupid. Erkss!!

Maybe there’s a reason why even the church suggests that the period of engagement should be around 1 year and then the couple should get married. From what I read, it’s to ensure that the love doesn’t fade away and logically, both are still so fired up with each other. Anyway, I find the way to agree that the first year of a relationship is actually the most beautiful. If you keep it longer, it will still sweet but not as much. So imagine if you reach to the 4th year, some part of the relationship might already be missing. What??? “After all the ridiculous years spent with you, all I got is a handicapped relationship??” *Lols.

So don’t buy the numbers, people. Do you believe when I say that a 6-month relationship could be more meaningful than a 6-year relationship? If both of you know what you want, and know how to cherish and spend every moment, you can reach the magic of feeling closely connected with each other even if 6 months are considered still early. Nothing is still too early if you know how to do it right, hit it right. If you are in a 6 years relationship, but 3 years spent being away, 2 years spent arguing, and 1 year spent cheating on each other – that’s how ridiculous it can be. All the large numbers don’t represent the time really spent with each other.

Do you hear cases where people spent in a relationship for even 11 years and when they finally got married, they divorced in less than 1 year. Omigawddd!!! Where all the numbers gone, people? So because I learnt from all this, I believe in Quality and not Quantity. I don’t believe that I need time to love and let my partner love me by giving each other years to really find “that kind of connection”. My style of doing it is getting more casual and simpler now. If you can’t connect with me in 1 month, you are off the hook. Real chemistry doesn’t take long to happen. We can’t force chemistry to happen. So if we find this kind of rare chemistry, we should cherish it. You don’t find it all the time, my friends. I tell you, I do my little study case all the time. My new encounter with people and why I treat them more special than the rest – I want to know the reason behind that. I believe that FATE put us in certain position, and others who come along the way might not fit in well. But when we find one who is also put in the position to match correctly with ours, this is when the magic happens. You find out that connection happens so fast. Not just because you guys purposely try to see if things can work from there, but everything about you just accommodate the other person’s needs, without even trying. Yeah, without even trying. You and your life, are just in right position to fit well with the other person. Now when this happens, something good will usually follow.

So people who have learnt the hard way about “years in the relationship is just a number”, don’t usually wait when they already find someone who they can fit it well. They don’t wait until the years do something bad to them. This could be the reason why you hear people who just got hooked up, got married months later and still be happy. Cos they know, to find one person who can accommodate you effortlessly, ISN’T easy. But there’s a wisdom one should wear in order to make this magic works. It must be done with the intention of finding the most ideal one – believing that although magic sparks do happen, both have the responsibility to sustain this magic.

Usually, fast love that fails always blame it on the word “fast”. Because they do it fast, it also leaves fast. That is because some people don’t have rules. You must have rules when you do anything. If it’s entirely on lust and physical, yeah, you can expect it to ruin as fast as it builds. Get the concept right before you proceed. If not, I tell you, it’s not the word “Fast” that you should blame, it’s YOU that you should blame. Because if you don’t get the concept right, you can spend all the ridiculous years with each other and still get the same result. Just that, this time you allow yourself to be stupid longer.

And one more thing. I still believe that we do find people that we like, we admire and we want to be with, but most of the time, they are not made for us. So all the years is like practically “forcing” the fate to make these people fit in to be with us. So can we force the fate? Maybe if we have this wisdom, we won’t have to feel stupid anymore. We won’t have to force the fate. Learn it on first hand if this should be given a go, or not. If not, move on. I surely don’t want to wait years just to accept that he’s not the one for me. Whoaa…that’s so tiring. No thanks. *Sighs.

So maybe you should listen to your heart, once in a while. But first, it must go along with wisdom. Anything without wisdom will cause stupid failure. So when I hear that people broke up from a long relationship, I learn it each time that this isn’t about how long, but how good. So if you find your match, go for it. You don’t need ridiculous years to give you security that he/she’s the right one for you. Just follow where that spark is taking you. It could take you to the love paradise of your dream in no time. I don’t know. You find out. *giggles.