Type 1: BECAUSE
I love you BECAUSE you are so beautiful.
Type 2: IF
I’ll love you IF you sleep with me.
Type 3: HAVE TO
I HAVE TO love him because he’s the one that I’m married to.
This is what I get from the church’s sermon yesterday. It’s a very interesting way to explain unTRUE Love in a simpler form. Untrue Love is also called CONDITIONAL LOVE – Iaitu cinta yang bersyarat. Kalau syarat tu sudah tidak dipenuhi, cinta tu akan hilang sekelip mata. (To me, they should find a different word to replace “Love” with that characteristic).
I have been writing about Conditional Love every now and then, but how sad, this world is full of those 3 types of love. It’s everywhere and you could be involved in one too. That’s my point. Until you learn how to love someone unconditionally, even the smallest reason can cause breakups. Speaking of broken love, it’s always about being judgmental. It’s about seeing the partner becoming “a less” person that he/she used to be, or just trapped in a match marriage or accidental act of lust.
Speaking of Unconditional Love – Maybe I am not the best person to speak. But I think I had the experience that COULD BE a spark of Unconditional Love. Hear this.
I remember the time when I went out with my friends and we were spending hours talking at a restaurant. My friends asked me about my updates. I told them, “Falling in love is not easy.” I continued,
“Until something like the feelings that I ever had before overpower me all over again, it’s hard to even imagine to fall in love again. I have had feelings so great, that it even passed the stage of EVALUATION. I mean, he might wear that messy hair, or gain double the weight, but I imagine if suddenly I saw him coming through that restaurant door, the first word that I would say is, “That’s My Sweetheart”. Because I have stopped to see him using the naked eyes, but it’s the eyes straight from the heart. No matter what form he becomes, he’s STILL that man that I’ve fallen in love with.”
Imagine people, I have felt how it was to see someone that way. It’s not because the man was SO GOOD or SO GREAT. In fact, he is a man with a lot of weaknesses. The weaknesses that could be more than what normal guys have. It hurt me many times, but still I hanged in there. Because there’s something else STRONGER than just seeing his weaknesses. The world might give me a thousand reasons to leave him, but I only need one to make me stay and I did. So, because I survived it, IN SPITE of his weaknesses, I began to see him more than just his strong or good points. I finally realized that what made him so special to me was not because of how romantic he was and how much money he spent on me, but it’s because THAT is the person that I have gone through a lot – the emotional roller coaster that I undergone – and finally when I gained my state of stability back again, it’s still HIM that I still care so much. So do you want to hear my conclusion on how to “be there?”
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE will appear if you survive all the tests. The most important highlights I can give are, You must learnt to accept his shortcomings and Adapt to them, in the way that you can still stick with your ways and principles – and still feel happy and content with what the two of you have.
But then that's an amateur point of view :)
So what’s the keyword for Unconditional Love, according to the Fr. Who gave the sermon?
If a person loves you IN SPITE of anything, it could be the type of love you're looking for. Let's examine the type of love that we have in our life :)
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