Don't Ask, "Who Am I To You?"

Do you guys remember the post about “Lelaki Yang Tidak Mau Rugi”? I made Episode 1 and Episode 2 of the post. The post that I’m about to write has something to do with perangai lelaki yang “tidak mau rugi” ni. But at the same time, I also believe, bukan semua lelaki mcm ni. Tapi majoritynya maybe memang mcm ni. So please allow me to speak and to those who think they are not in this category, let’s read this together. See if I’m actually making senses or not.

Maybe ada di kalangan kita yg perempuan ni actually trapped in this situation. We have “something going on” with this guy and then when someone asks you, Hey, who’s your boyfriend now? And then you go, “Errr…err…Ada laa…Nanti la I tell you”. You have that spark of having someone special in your life, but you cannot announce it yet. Reasons? Believe it or not, You don’t actually know the status of the “something going on” thing with him. Omigawd! How can that be?

Trust me people, this is more common than what you think. Like what I always write before. Feelings have no rules. After one meeting, chemistry happens, you guys are in for a bigger thing. As fast as that. And when the attraction happens that fast, all the bitter things come too late. “Oh sorry that I tell you too late. I have a steady girlfriend already”. Or, “Actually, I’m engaged.” Or worse yet, “I’m married with 4 kids.” Omigawd!!! In lucky cases, the girl can simply pull back from getting dragged longer in the fling, but most are that bold – They think they want to stay and fight for it!! They thought they have the right to stay to witness the guy finally decides that she’s the one for him. Wow, that’s a spirit of a fighter that we can look up to, but is it applicable here in this situation?

Okay, let’s not lose the focus. It’s on the MEN, not the WOMEN. Women are usually quite helpless when their feelings and emotions are involved. They are so fragile. They don’t want to get hurt. So when she thought that her heart is with this guy, who at the same time attached to another woman – I bet She Would Stay as long as she still finds herself important to the guy. She thinks that she still has the change to become the right one for him. But the question is, why some GUYS hesitate to make that decision about who the woman is in his life?

No kidding. A few of my friends are in that situation. My gawd! If you think this is rare, think again! The guy hooks up with 2 girls at once, and when the girls finally found out about each other’s existence in the man’s life, yes, they are both hurt. But after everything, both are still clinging to the guy. They both thought they have the right to stay, and it’s the “other one” who has to go. What happens to the guy?

HE COULDN’T MAKE THAT DAMN DECISION.

The worse thing is…

HE DOESN’T WANT TO MAKE THAT DAMN DECISION.

Yes, people, HE AVOIDS the topic of making up WHO SHOULD STAY. Now you see how I can relate this to, “Lelaki yang tidak mau rugi”? He Wants Them All. If he can have 10 ladies want him, he would rather keep them asking the question, “Who Am I In His Life?” rather than losing them.

My good mind gives me this reason.

He doesn’t want to make the decision because he doesn’t want to hurt any of them.

Ohh…how thoughtful…

On the other hand, My evil mind gives me this reason.

He doesn’t want to make the decision because if he makes the decision, he only signs a deal that, “I have the license to get intimate with one girl instead of 10”. Omigawd! Why my evil mind seems to sound like it’s making more sense?

I’m sorry guys. But the reason that comes from my good mind is counted out already. Because of what? Let me tell ya. For your information, girls WANT TO KNOW where they stand in your life. If you think they like to be your mistress or “a secret companion”, you’re Soo Wrong!! They sure want you to make that damn decision who do you want to stay. You cannot have it all, you get me? (Please check out my post “Dalam Hidup Ini, Bukan Semua Kita Boleh Dapat.”). How thoughtful can you to begin with, when you can collect a few girls at once? And if you think the girls might get hurt if you make the decision, Ohh…you are already hurting them by the time they find out that they are not the only one in your life. So if you think you are so thoughtful and you don’t want to hurt any of the girls – You are SO LOST within your own game, dude! I bet they would prefer you hurt them ONE MORE TIME just to be sure of where they stand. Oh, I thought you guys were MEN ENOUGH to do something like that??

It’s so pathetic that some guys are just way TOO Greedy. He wants to have fun with all the girls, without letting them know who they are in his life. He wants that he has a place to come to when he needs any of the girls. If girl A is not available, he can go to girl B. He doesn’t care a bit even much the “intimate things” mean to the girls. They want to be special. They want to be the only one for him. Too bad that for the guy, “She’s just another girl.”

In the real case that one of my friends in right now, she actually demands it from the guy everytime. She keeps asking about who she is in his life, because she knows the other girl is also still around. One time she got tired of waiting and she actually made a decision for him, thinking that he might be afraid to hurt one of them. “You can carry on with your girlfriend and from today that our relationship is only brother and sister.”

“No!!! I’m not ready for that! Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay?”, said the guy.

He keeps saying that over and over again. The girl is not stupid. She begins to see herself as “a victim”. He only comes to her when he needs something. He even comes to her when he needs to cuddle and kiss – and that’s all. He only wants to have a place to have fun and play around. If he agrees to brother and sister relationship, he would not get the chance to do all that. He would rather put NO NAME to it and still have the right to do what he wants with her. Tell me if a man can EVER be MORE SELFISH than THIS!!!!

So, he can’t make that decision?

Then my advice is…

“YOU GO AND MAKE THAT DECISION.”

You are so welcomed to say this.

“I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE. FULLSTOP.”

Are you anything better than a puppet or a toy? If you are anything better than that, THEN SHOW IT!! Ladies, we cannot make ourselves the victim, ANYMORE!! If you’re worth it, then quit from dating a loser who cannot make a decision on who is the most special in his life. A man like that is unreliable, greedy and a potential “good for nothing sweet talker”. Another minute spent talking about a man like this, I consider my time wasted. So ladies… are you now “digantung tak bertali”? Cut that stupid invisible string with the inner womanly strength in you!! If he cannot make that decision who should stay, then say this…

It’s Me, Or Her?

If another moment of silence from him… say this.

“Fine, I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll walk away. Have your way with her.” Trust me, you have better things to do than just hanging on to someone who divide his heart into two and cannot do anything about it.

The better man is out there, ladies! Go find your way towards him, ok!! Ok set!!

P/S : If only that’s so easy kan, Twofivesix[256]…hehehehehe (Now you’re talking huh…hehehehe :P) <-- That’s me thinking out loud. Hahahaha