When I was small, my dad has been teaching us to be “friendly” with the church. Even how hard it was, we must come to church every week. He always brought us to the English mass. We were too young to understand but still he didn’t use it as an excuse. As long as we sat there and followed the mass till the end. My dad even go to night masses and I still remember sleeping soundly during the long sermon. I also remember sticking out my tongue to the much bigger boys sitting at the back that my dad ended up pinching my arms. *giggles. During those times, we went to church just to please my dad. We didn’t know WHY but we only knew we didn’t want our dad to get mad. Oh well, I want to say, THANK YOU dad for all that. Now I understand. Maybe we were too young to understand English to follow the English mass but it was not because my dad expected us to listen and understand, but the point is to make us see THE CHURCH as a place where we find peace, where we feel like we have the obligation to visit it at least once a week. Being friendly with the church and making friends with the church is the first way for the young kids to learn anything before they could understand why they should go to church by their own will. Now I understand. Thank you my dad.
Now, all that paid off. My dad doesn’t have to force us to go to church like the old days. In fact, even if we miss a week, my dad won’t be mad anymore. Because he knows that he has done everything he could to teach us what is necessary, and we are big enough to decide on our own. He knows that our every decision now is with the knowledge that we know what is right and wrong, and if we still choose to do something wrong, we are totally aware of it, and that we are also aware of the consequences. The church is in fact the most peaceful place to be. In fact, that’s the reason why I find myself closer to the church. I have this experience of facing the worse anxiety of a lifetime that the feeling was almost like losing my own life. It was the church that helped me to realize my problems are just NOTHING compared to God’s power and from there, I find the answer myself that going to church is not anymore about pleasing my dad, but it’s where I experience the greater power and love like never before.
The questions of Who is holy, who is devoted, who is following the way of Christ – let’s not ask those questions. We are just the same. We have the same chances of making sins and making good deeds. In fact, most of us are more fortunate than the rest that we are given so much abilities to be God’s instrument to spread the good news. We are in no position to judge another person that, “Hey, you’re bad, I think you will go to hell.” Nope. Don’t do that. Not just because I go to church every week, it doesn’t mean that I should make that a reason for my Catholic friends who don’t go to church, to feel bad that “Ya laa, sia berdusa la ba ni abis nda pigi church.” How many times should I tell you that it’s just not the way to go. I also make sins everyday, maybe simply from having bad and negative thoughts about the people around me, yes, especially vengeance and hatred. So, let’s be reminded that we are no angels to judge others. We have the same fair chance to do good and bad so we respect each other’s decision on how they lead their lives. It’s a matter between you and God, and no one else should come in between.
The holy fasting season is here again and I will not say my long list of resolutions how I want to do it this time. I will not say, “I will not curse a single word at this for this 40 days.” “I will not “go to party” with foods like I always do.” Nope, I won’t spell out the ways for me to become better, not anymore. It never worked. The more I pressed myself to obey a list of definite rules that I made myself, the more I strayed from it. Then, I rather just concentrate on one big mission throughout the fasting season. I think that, maybe we forgot that the most important thing is not about holding back from foods, but it’s more about how to lead a life that is that closer to God, and apply it to every part of our lives, including work and relationship.
So to my Catholic brothers and sisters, wish you guys a blessed fasting season. Hope everyone will get something good from this holy season, ok? :)
May God Bless Everyone.
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