A Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

Children write letters to you because they want a gift for Christmas, right? You must have your criteria ready when it comes to who deserve and you don’t deserve to get a gift. You have been the motivation for the kids to behave themselves and be nice to other people so that they deserve to get a gift from you. Santa, the adult I am today, please don’t forget that I am also once a child. But today, I’m writing you this letter, not because I’m asking for a gift, but I want you to spare some of your time to read my letter and then decide, If I Were A Kid, Do I Deserve A Gift For Christmas?

Santa, I must admit that I have not been at my best behaviour this year. It’s because I have gotten myself into a very challenging phase in my life, the phase that I handpicked for myself. Because of this challenging phase, I have to shift myself to another level to be able to take on the challenges and survive them. It has not been easy, Santa dear. I struggled a lot and I worked so so hard to even be where I am today, and “where I am now” is not even anywhere for anybody yet. I have set my own standard, my dear Santa. I can’t look up so much on others and bring myself down. Only this way that I feel I am doing myself justice.

I realize that I have not been the kindest in my life this year because I have to deal with a lot of people with different attitudes, my dear Santa. I shouted at the salesmen who ignored the “No Salesman. Thank You” sign outside my workplace and I even threatened to call the police when one of those persistent salesmen refused to listen to me when I asked him to leave. It doesn’t sound very nice, right Santa? I felt really bad too, but you see, I just couldn’t let others disrespect me and violate my privacy when it’s within their knowledge that they shouldn’t do so. I also almost argued with one of my customers because I have to sacrifice some profit just to make up for the mistakes that she partly contributed. I almost crossed the line, right Santa? I should be patient and courteous to people, especially my customers, but because I stand for this principle that I will not let anybody step on me for Any reason, I thought that I had to do it because I want to fight for my right as a human being. Maybe I was wrong, right Santa? Those are among the bad things that I do but I somehow think I do them for some reasons. If you think I was really guilty for those things, I feel deeply sorry for myself for all my mistakes but without them, I might not learn how to be better.

Santa, despite my wrong doings, I also think that I do spare some for the little good Samaritan spirit inside of me though I only have little incidents to show it. I still remember that my assistants bought foods for their lunch and they forgot that they didn’t have spoon. Since it was at the exhibition site, I realized that they felt really lost where to get a spoon before they could eat their lunch. I didn’t wait for long. I told them to wait and I ran to the nearest supermarket just to buy a pair of spoons for them to eat their lunch, and I also bought extra cold drinks for them. I saw it on their faces that they were shocked that I did something like that just for them. They must think that a leader like me won’t have to do something like that just for a silly lunch, but I didn’t think so. I did it with a sense of responsibility. And also Santa, for the same exhibition, I actually asked my partner to pay a lot less for the site that we shared. I almost didn’t take the money since I knew the exhibition didn’t fare well for her, but because I have to be professional, I took half of the payment and I returned the rest back to her in exchange with a little favour that might cost as much. I still remember she said, Thank You, in such a deep meaning, because maybe she understood I was trying to lessen her burden. In other case, I remember going to the floor toilet and found out the tap was broken so the water was coming heavily from it and I believed it was left that way for a while and imagine how much water had been wasted. I ran around and asked for a rubber band to tie the broken tap handle. I remember they said to me that, “Don’t bother about the broken tap. It’s not us who pay the water.” I just smiled and ignored them and finally got the tap stopped.” Isn’t that a good deed, dear Santa? *giggles.

Dear Santa, as far as my religious life is concerned, I have been very good in my church attendance this year. I don’t remember not coming to church for my weekly schedule. I must admit anyway, that there were a few times that I fell asleep during the sermons. Although it was not something that I am proud of, I also know that I didn’t fell asleep because I found the sermons too boring, but it was only because I was too tired from work. As you know Santa, I have not left my work even a day this year, except for the days my workplace building was closed during public holidays, and also one day, during my Grandma’s funeral. But I have never felt tired or bored of my routine. You see Santa, if I am not a person who has visions, I won’t be doing something weird like that. Weird or not, I really really do love my life now, like never before.

Also my dear Santa, this year alone, I have lost a lot of material belongings. My most favourite clothes were stolen from the house compound; my digital camera was misplaced, and watch, my lipstick and the most meaningful one is all the things that are lost together with the handbag that was stolen in front of my very eyes. Because of these lost materials, I also lost a lot of money to replace them. To your surprise my dear Santa, I didn’t curse much. I was being very patient and left it to God. I even said to my friends that the person who stole my handbag might not mean to steal it, that it was my fault that he saw the chance to steal it and only he stole it. The thief might be that desperate to get some money for the coming Raya celebration that time. Imagine how positive I tried to be and maybe that explained why I went through all the troubles much simpler. I have never been this patient my whole life, dear Santa.

Also this year, I believe that I have been a good example to few. The courage that I have shown in my work really motivates some of the people I know. Some of them even make me as their benchmark; that “If she can do it, why can’t I?” At the same time, I also believe that I have brought the same joy to the lives of the people who brought joys to my life. I also got to share some of my talents to some people when I help them out in the things that I am capable of helping, and I’m looking forward to help more. I also have been the place for people who rely on me when they have things to share about because they know I would listen to everything they have to say and give my share of views. People still appreciate me for being a good listener, you see that Santa? This is the year that I start using my abilities that I have been keeping for years. More and more I am loving the person that God made me. Isn’t that a good thing to be count blessings and savour them? Trust me, I’m counting my blessings everyday. And most important is to appreciate what we have and not to grieve over what we don’t have. Isn’t that right, Santa? Santa dear, after reading all this…do you think I can still be considered a good person? I wish that this transition year would push me to be a different level next year. I promise that I will mend all the broken things in my behaviour after this very challenging and trying year. After all, I am now a better person because of the bitter experiences and I hope, it’s the end of the worst bitter experiences for me. I survive it all, and I know there’s nothing else I can’t survive. :) Thanks dear Santa for reading my letter. Please pray for my loved ones’ wellbeing and also to all the people who brought joy and delight to my life this year. Without them, I am a nobody, and I have nothing. They are my treasure. Please also spare some little prayer for this poor and humble person who is writing this, not because she asks for the little favour, but because you know she deserves it.

Thanks Santa. Let you be the symbol of delight for all the children in the world when the Christmas season is near.

Yours truly,

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