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Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Virgin Married Man...

Aha! Do Not Think I am making up stories here. What else you have not heard in today’s world, huh? A Virgin Married Man. The word “Man” make it sounds even more unbelievable, right? But it is true! Cos this person is someone I know. He’s not proud, he’s not happy, but he has to live with it until now. Hey, are you calling him stupid? Wait! Anything, but STUPID okay?

I share this story because it’s interesting and it’s something to ponder upon. Anything weird can happen in this world. How come he’s married and still a virgin? Do you still call him stupid if you learn that he is only keeping his words? Yes, keeping his words – something that a lot of people fail to do. Integrity is another big word for him. Wanna know how the story goes? Here it goes.

He knew this lady back in university. They became close for months before the girl started to stray and hooked up with another guy. One thing led to another, the next thing was…the girl came back to him crying and threatening to take her own life. Why? Because she found out she was pregnant with the new guy’s child. She mentioned that she didn’t know how to face her parents and she was sure they won’t forgive her. So this guy had to say something to comfort the girl, to at least stop her from entertaining stupid thoughts. “I will help you. Let’s settle this matter together.” So they discussed and planned everything. They flew back to their hometown (good thing they both come from the districts not far from each other) and met the girl’s parents. The guy used his diplomacy skill and told the girl’s parents he was responsible for her pregnancy and that he wanted to marry her. The marriage happened soon after. It was a proper marriage taken place at the church and so the marriage was legal even in the eyes of God. So what happens next?

The girl doesn’t want to steal the man’s life also. She asked for a divorce on the first year, but the guy refused because he couldn’t leave her while she was jobless and she has a child to raise, and everyone else thought the child was his own. It’s been 5 years now, exactly how old the kid is. Now the kid is staying with the mom but the guy is staying separately from them. People thought that this is just a normal marital problem where the couple chooses to live separately after disagreement. What they don’t know is that the couple are only married on paper. The guy does his responsibility as a husband by giving money to his wife and kid every month. Now, does he sound happy to you?

Of course he’s not. He’s torn between the marriage agreement and his needs as a man. The fact that he has “lost” his own life by not being a normal man with a normal life is sometimes making him sick and upset. He misses the chance to explore possibilities of experiencing love like other people because he’s tied with a sudden marriage just because of “keeping his words to his friend” and he can’t find the guts to leave them now, especially when the kid is already calling him “daddy”. He has hearts for other women but his hands are tied.

And why does he is still a virgin? Both of them are not talking about the making it real. The girl is ashamed thinking that the guy stays in the marriage out of pity, and the guy thinks that his presence is just a cover up and he’s not actually needed as a real husband. They think that they have no feelings for each other to make the marriage real. To fix it or leave it like that, it's up to them. Wish them all the best!

Moral of the story:

1. Be careful when you make any big decision in your life.

2. When you’re given a second chance to rectify your bad decision, do not make another wrong decision to push yourself further in the mess.

3. Not being able to make decision is also considered another bad decision.

4. Face your problem and don’t sweep it under the carpet.

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