256's July Journal Day 9: I Was So Ashamed at Him

I have stopped reading my daily night prayers for a long time because I always ended up falling asleep in the middle. This is because I expected the prayer to be long and detail to think that I completed a session, so I always didn’t get to finish my prayer. That’s why my daily prayer takes place in the morning, before I leave the room. Rest assured that I am at my best energy, and consciousness, and I read prayer that is quite short, but to the point. Of course there’s an exception when I’m facing difficult situations that I can’t wait until morning to say my prayer. When my heart is saddened by something, and emotional breakdown is taking over me, I feel that I need to address it to God, at least just tell Him that I’m feeling so down and I hope He can make me feel better. Just casual talking instead of a proper prayer. Something happened again yesterday, when I was having a little argument with someone special and caused me a heartache almost the whole day. It’s been awhile that I felt that way because my emotions are always at peace and that’s how I like it. Until yesterday. A lot of things that coming to my mind, that made it unbearable thinking about the bad consequences that would put many treasured things to waste. Coming to my senses, I just put my hands together and prayed to God…I started it with How Ashamed I am to come to Him during my times of needs, but I was so desperate. I asked for mercy and peace of mind. I asked for His guidance so that we can work things out. After that, I slept well and woke up fresh the next day. The first thing that came to my mind this morning, Thank You Lord for making me sleep well. And the good news was, we finally patched things up and it brought so much delight to me. I thanked God, and told him, I was so ashamed that I came to Him during my times of needs, I was so ashamed that God has to give me hard times to say my extra prayers – But then I told God, that never once that I forget to thank Him first after every single good things that happen to me daily. The blessings, The people, The Love… Thank You Lord. Alleluia, Praise Be To God :)