That Moment Of “I Feel A Kind Of Loss”

I still remember when my big brother (good friend whom I call brother) told me that he didn’t feel good whenever I started to talk about hooking up with a new guy. And it showed when he started to give comments, asking me to be careful and all. One day I just went ahead and asked him, Do you feel something when I told you I’m getting close with someone new? He said, Yes. I can’t explain it. “I feel a kind of loss”. As much as him, I was wondering too. 

Just like when you have this one big fan, who admires everything about you and would do anything to get a date with you and you just never give the right kind of response because you are “not that available” and you don’t want to give the wrong signal that might give the person a false hope. The next time you hear that the person is switching his attention to another girl. Again, you feel a kind of loss. Why is that? 

Sometimes you are led into thinking that whenever that you feel that way, it is a kind of indication that “something is going on” inside your heart that you dare not admit. It’s just so easy to think that way, right? But can you explain that when your heart is totally occupied, why do you still feel a kind of loss when another suitor of yours is changing direction? Can you consider the possibility that you never mean it when you say that it makes you feel uncomfortable when someone is trying to win your heart, even when he knows you are already taken, that actually you only lie to yourself; which means you are actually enjoying all the attention, but just not want to give commitment? I mean, really, if you feel nothing towards the person, why would you feel a kind of loss when the person is moving away from your life? Can anyone explain this? 

These are among the empty spaces that we forgot to define. We forgot to find the right word for this situation we are in. We forgot to define that this feeling of loss doesn’t only apply for something that is obvious – like what the wife feels when hubby has to work abroad for months, or when a boyfriend sets eyes for another girl and suddenly ignores you, Yeah, all those are obviously giving you the right to feel that complete loss. At least you can define it, others can define it. But explain why did I feel so sad when an unfamiliar boy in my class was moving school and I barely even spoke 10 words with him, but still I feel a kind of loss. Yeah, I seriously felt something was suddenly missing from my life. It’s funny, right? 

Why should we feel like we have lost something when the thing that leaves us never does mean so much to us from the beginning? It’s funny right? But it happens. And it will happen again once in a while. Let me just put it this way so you guys don’t have to spend more time and get confused over this. We do feel appreciation for everything in our lives. Sometimes we are just helpless because we don’t have that much chance or space to actually show it, although not everyone is as special as our most special person, still, we are born to have people around us, to be loved, to feel cared for. We do have that selfishness inside of us that we want good things to just stay the same, until something happen and something has to go or leave, our comfort is disturbed hence we feel that kind of loss. But it’s gonna be temporary. 

These are just minors. No need to put so much thought into it. When things run its course, let them. That feeling hit it once but then it will get normal again when we wake up the next day and realizing they most worthy people are here to stay. Humans are so complex. Every moment is still like a self discovery. Whatever it is, lets just try to simplify the unnecessary complexity. Agree? So the next time you feel a kind of loss again, tell yourself, IT’S NORMAL. You sure can handle that. :) 

Picture Of The Day

@ The Hunter