Said the lady to the policeman on the phone. I was startled in disbelief. How could a lady, with such respectable character with a good religious background – did something like that to a police officer who was doing his job? The fact that this lady was a leader for a bunch of salesgirls selling sewing machine, who went into a police barrack without permission, she at least deserved some brainwashing about getting a permission first. I was like, “Wow…you did something like that?” Not only that, she also talked rudely to the policemen who were there at the station because she said the policemen were just trying to act smart and prolonged the matter. She said she understood their explanation and they just didn’t want to let them go. They asked for their ICs and recorded them as if they had just committed a crime. The lady felt so unfairly treated so she started saying things just to stand for her right as a citizen. “They could not treat us like one of those refugees!!” One of them finally called their superior who then shouted at the lady through the phone that made her shout so loud she scared everyone who were there. Oh my. My question was, “What has turned you into a tigress, my friend?”
This is what happens when someone push you off your limit. Even a soft lady like her can get so vicious. I mean, or maybe I have not known her so well yet? Then let’s just put myself as the study case here. (Erks!!) If I talk to you, you might complain that I look cold and unfriendly when you come as strangers. But you would never complain that I am harsh with words. You won’t barely hear a single cursing words from my mouth. I admit that. So this is what I told the lady when we had a long talk yesterday.
“You know what inside my mind when I get really mad at someone? If I curse, I only show them my weakness. My ego is too high for that. I don’t want them to see me a level lower. I know that suddenly I feel stupid, embarrassed and …unashamedly uncivilized too.” I said to her.
She looked at me and nodded. Maybe she thought it all made sense. I might be right about all those. But it didn’t stop her from thinking that she did The Right Thing.”I only curse and raise my voice when it’s appropriate.” Suddenly something knocked into my senses. She was right. I was not far different or far angelic than her. Suddenly I realized that I CURSE so badly too.
I seldom curse at people. To me cursing at people only made me look stupid and immoral. If I claim to be better than them, cursing is the easiest way to be exactly like them. But still, I NEED TO CURSE. I curse so much when I’m alone actually. Especially when I do my work and I make the silliest mistake that cost me money. I thought that NO good words I should deserve after doing the same mistake over and over again. I thought that I was always too hasty to never correct my mistakes. I NEED TO CURSE to tell myself that I am NOT happy with my own work and I better get it right next time or I might deserve another serious of bad cursing from my own self. Erks?
Imagine when someone steps on your toes, would you want to scream and say something bad? The act of people stepping on our toes do come in different ways actually. I remember the other day when I shouted at the clerk through the phone because I was so pissed with the extra charges that DHL charged me. Also, how I chased out a salesman from my office because he kept forcing me on his products when I have said it clear that I was not interested. Also remember the times when someone made you wait for hours just to tell you that it was cancelled. Remember when someone accused you of taking something but you didn’t. Remember when someone forgot to tell you something important that made you the person to blame in the end. I believe that maybe I rationally know that cursing is not good but I just can’t accept people’s wrongdoings or even my own – without expressing that it’s not something favourable to me. Cursing is a way that we let people know they did something wrong and next time they know to never repeat it again.
Now I know… the person like the lady who turned into a tigress when she faces situations that need her to, is actually doing herself a favour. She will be nice to people who deserve it but it doesn’t mean the rest can just step on her. Self defense gives you the license to curse but in the name of manners and humanity, spare cursing only when you really desperately need to use the license, or else, you would be perceived as one irrational, immoral, loose canon who have totally lost it. Nope, it’s not worth it.
*giggles.
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