"The Lost Sheep"

Everyone made a big mistake once in their lifetime. I believe in that. I once made that mistake too. It’s whether you took a decision that made you pay for the consequences or you’re just not lucky enough.

This new friend of mine worked with a new company for only 2 months but she could have written 2 books of curses for her new boss. Everytime she dropped by she would bring a new story about the boss, each time to add more to the bad reputation of the boss. She discovered every time a new “bad thing” that the boss has been committing. She said that all the workers hate the boss. He is taking advantage by taking workers who have problems with IC so that he could pay them low enough without risking that they would quit. He is technically sucking their blood, according to this friend. My friend who was not having any issues with IC or anything, got to ask for high salary because she could secure new businesses for the boss using her contacts from the old company. The boss initially agreed to pay commission to her sales. But when it was time to pay, he made a lot of excuses. From 10%, she was only given 4% because suddenly the boss changed the policy. My friend was dead furious at him. She also found out later that the customers also hate him. He sold second hand computers at high price and almost all the customers came back swearing at him because most of the pc failed to work or start even only after a few days. Some even asked for cash refund. She also found out that the boss was using someone else’s name on the trading license because he is not a Sabahan. The person whose name he used for the license made a report at the district council to bar the boss from renewing the old license. My friend said that it could be that the boss didn’t obey the verbal agreement between them about paying a sum of money to the person whose named used in the license. Not to mention how the boss’ old business was closed down because he couldn’t survive competitions. The new business he ventures in is also new to him and without my friend, he could barely secure a single customer. She said that when the boss was not in, they were all talking about how immoral he is. That was not even after they learnt that the boss registers a new company every time to run from income tax. My oh my!

Listening to her, it made me thinking, “This man is in BIG MESS!” I found my way to pity him. I mean, all the elements related to him are nothing but negative. The history has it that he quit his job as a government servant because “he couldn’t get the respect from his workmates”. I mean, this man’s life is full of problems. I, as a stranger, shouldn’t judge him. But it made me wondering. I thought that MAYBE the rest about him that my friend didn’t know about is all the good and angelic things. I don’t believe that anyone on this earth can be totally screwed up like that. I mean, it can’t be. Then during her last visit to my place, I asked my friend this question.

“U think adakah orang yang betul2 unfortunate sampaikan dia buat semuanya lurus dan baik saja, but still terima nasib mcm boss kau? Like kena benci oleh staff dan customers, business nda maju dan macam2 lagi. You think adakah orang macam tu?

Sia tanya dia soalan tu sebab MANA TAU yang maybe boss dia tu tidaklah sejahat mana. But dia just MALANG sampaikan semua benda yang dia buat pun tidak menjadi. Dia sudah baik2 pun still juga screwed up. Ada jugakah sampai mcm ni?

My friend said, “Mustahil. Kalau sudah sampai begitu, mesti pun orang itu tidak lurus, berniat jahat dan berhati busuk. Tidak mungkin kalau dia baik, dia akan kena macam tu.”

Maybe she’s right. But wait. Kalau kita tengok di sekeliling kita – ada mereka2 yang sentiasa menemui jalan buntu, like things always don’t work out for them. Memang semua benda nda menjadi. Sia terpikir, adakah dorang ni sudah try berhabis-habisan, dengan niat yang baik dan sudah pray to God, still dorang punya life macam tu? Wujud kah macam ni? Or memang semua orang yang dilanda nasib MALANG yang nda henti2 ni memang ada buat something yang tidak betul dalam hidup dorang yang menyebabkan dorang deserve untuk dapat nasib macam tu?

I have had 2 years of bad luck in my life years ago. I call it 2 years of bad luck cos things were all screwed up masa tu. Apa yang sia try, semua nda jadi. And the people around me were skeptical about myself. Like my situation was “the worst case scenario” that I could ever imagine happened to me. If I could name one time was to be called “My Downfall”, that 2 years must be called “My Worst Downfall”. So sia masih ingat macamana kekuatan mental yang paling penting. Semua orang yang berada di tempat sia masa tu mungkin could not survive the pressure. But when u asked me, Did I not try enough? Was I a bad person? I could answer you NO. But memang ada mistake yang sia buat yang menyebabkan I deserved it. I think that it’s true – kalau sia guna rules yang betul dari mula lagi, Life Can’ t be That Cruel to us. Unless we did something yang sambil lewa atau we took a decision out of selfishness – Yes, then only those decisions could echo back in the form of “bad luck”.

Sia tulis ni sebab it has been in my mind lately. Ada orang2 yang dekat dengan sia pun mungkin sedang melalui hal ni dalam hidup dorang sekarang, iaitu … semua element dalam hidup dorang seolah-olah menentang dorang. What I can say is that…Sia sudah lalui tu semua. I don’t know la kalau macam boss kawan sia tu. Maybe dia memang teruk or what. But untuk mereka2 yang rasa diri tu tidaklah sejahat mana but life is not in good flow for you now, mesti ada something yang u guys buat yang menyebabkan benda tu berlaku. The good news is…Ini semua bukan satu verdict untuk kita. It’s just a warning signal that WE NEED TO CHANGE back to our good ways and FIX the bad luck. Dalam kes boss kawan sia tu, sudah puas ikut jalan bengkang bengkok, then try pula ikut jalan lurus kali ni. Mesti lain sikit experience dia. Sepa tau mungkin baru dia sedar bahawa ikut jalan lurus ni jauh ni sebenarnya sangat tenang dan tidak banyak pening kepala. Come to think about it, I realize it even more now yang ini semua cuma satu proses pembelajaran. Don’t ask why some people have it easier than you. You never know maybe they sacrifice so much more than you have so far, to deserve that easy road. We make mistake and God gives us the way to fix it. I truly believe in that.

Each of us might experience being The Lost Sheep at least one time in our lives. Now that you know that you are not going to be lost forever, don’t you just want to find the way back home? :)

NOTE: You have no idea how many hearts will cry tears of joy just seeing you making your way back home. Don’t wait for the aid when you can start finding the way home now :)