Something about women who are independent, self sufficient and earning their own money, people think they always take care of their needs, so they are often overlooked, often the last to be spared the extra thoughts especially when it comes to, Are they okay? Of course they are okay. They can take care of themselves. They are independent, remember? That's what people thought.
I'm not in this category yet. I'm still very much dependent on some stuff. But I have friends who are really really good to go on their own but they have a family to look after. So two of my close buddies' bdays are today and yesterday. From how they spoke their mind before the birthday, I could not help but notice their silent thoughts. They wonder, Would the loved ones remember her birthday? Would they care enough to do something to make her day special? Would they even care to buy her a cake or gift to make her feel appreciated and happy? Deep inside, I feel them. They are my friends. They share their thoughts with us but I do their family give them that space to be heard?
Yes they can buy any expensive cakes they want just like they do on anyone's birthday in the family but after all the times making everyone feel special, loved and cared, they too want to be treated like a queen on their birthday, and it doesn't have to be fancy because they can afford anything they want but it can never replace the Thoughts from the loved ones. My friends; their respective husband, after some hinting about the coming birthday, asked them, So do you want any gift? But these independent women are too used to put other people first so it's more likely they will not be too direct with their answer. But don't you think they deserve something nice? Or maybe anything thoughtful. Why do the husband needs to be told Yes, I want a gift then only he will get one? Oh, maybe because they are independent women, what else they could ask for from other people, right? Garsh, does the husband know they birthday queen is hurting inside?
The pressure to be among friends who get better treatment from their loved ones can intensify their disappointment on their birthday. One has to order her own cake because everyone else was not used to doing it. She had to say to us, It's okay, at least I get to eat the cake flavour I want. But I know she wished she didn't have to order her own bday cake. The other one had to request the parents to treat the whole family dinner since her husband just doesn't care and isn't too keen about wasting money just to eat outside. So I was glad to know her parents and siblings did go out for dinner on her bday nite, and as usual I asked her, Hey, where's the pictures? She said, No pictures. Everyone was eating out of hunger, No cakes, no nothing. I said, WHAT? I can feel her disappointment despite the honesty. I think she did take pictures, of course she did. But probably she wasn't happy with them. It was just a normal dinner, with no reference to celebrate her birthday. Yeah, maybe I'm sounding like I'm unnecessarily demanding on their behalves, but I have my own point. I know them and I know how much they want to be like the normal women whom loved ones are more thoughtful. But I get it. Being independent women put them the last in the list.
Please. If you have this kind of woman as your special woman, please don't think less of them especially on a special day like birthdays. I know maybe you think they can afford everything, they are too demanding and there's nothing you can do enuff to make them happy, but You are wrong. At the end of the day, your effort means a lot to them. It will make her day. She will brag about it to her friends. Just do something. Stop jumping into conclusions that she will fix anything broken including her expectations. Stop thinking that she will Not mind. Stop letting her entertain herself like she has no one. She's longing for the same attention she's giving you. Please appreciate this woman who you think DOESN'T MIND that she is put the last. She is just like other women who want to be loved and pampered. She doesn't mind a simple home-cooked dinner. She doesn't mind a home-made cake. Spend a little extra time to cuddle her, tell her sweet things like -Thank you for being such an amazing person to the family-. If you know what these independent women say behind your back about not getting the appreciation she deserves, you know you gonna buckle us and wait no more. This woman is your backbond. Love her and she will be a stronger support for the family. She is already an independent woman, make her a HAPPY independent woman by being there for her and make her feel loved, especially on her bdays. Please do that.
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