Bini Tapuk-Tapuk

Sebagai seorang lelaki, mesti kau rasa thrill kalau boleh kawin lebih dari satu. Tapi most case, bini kau confirm tidak akan izinkan. So what you do is, you kawin curi2. And then after that you techinically ada Bini Tapuk-tapuk. Bagi la alasan mau pi outstation la, ada meeting or course di luar negara la, padahal mau spend masa sama bini yang tapuk-tapuk tu.

Sia terfikir ni topik bila ada sorang kawan tu yang allowed herself to be a Bini Tapuk2 kepada sorang kawan lama dia yang sudah ada bini dan anak2, yang boleh dikatakan ada perkahwinan yang stabil dan tidak bermasalah.  So kawan sia ni most of the time hidup macam single mother yang teda laki. Hanya sekali sekala, bila laki dia tu pi outstation pi England contohnya, dia akan ikut sekali. Most likely bini pertama dia tidak tau. Apa lagi kalau laki dia ni jenis yang selalu balik makan sama2 di rumah. Jenis yang sayang anak2. Makan pakai cukup. Si kawan sia pula ni sorang single mother with 3 kids. Memang dia perlukan teman hidup untuk melancarkan urusan kehidupan dia especially mengatur belanja anak2 dia. Maybe selepas semua pertimbangan tu, akhirnya dia setuju jadi Bini tapuk2. Tapuk2 in the real meaning of tapuk2. Nda buli kelihatan bersama di khalayak ramai. Thats why la kalau luar negara tu baru drg rasa ada kebebasan. Sia tinguk kawan sia tu kan, maybe bukan itu yg dia mau tapi itu ja pilihan yang dia ada. At least merasa juga dia ke luar negara. Kalau mau harap bekas laki dia or harap diri dia sendiri, memang life dia akan begitu2 juga. 

Oleh kerana dia Bini tapuk2, sampai sekarang kami ndatau pun camana rupa laki dia. Tapi terfikir juga sia, berapa lama dorang boleh stay tapuk2. Mungkin kawan sia tu rendahkan permintaan dia. Mungkin dia setuju untuk tidak minta lebih dari tu. Jauh sekali untuk sia tentukan sama ada dia happy ka tidak. Seolah-olah hubungan tu out of convenience ja. Selagi buli ditapuk, ok boleh on. Macam kesian jadi tu perempuan. Sebab dia ni macam daun yang menempel di pokok yang kuat. Kalau tiba2 dia kena tiup angin, pokok tu tetap kuat dengan dahan2 dia. I just hope ada pertukaran yang setimpal like dat guy buli kasi belanja bulanan yg mencukupi untuk kawan sia tu tampung hidup yang berjauhan tu. 

Well, permintaan kita berbeza dalam life ni kan. Ada yang mau dibagi balang yg penuh air. Ada yang tidak kisah kalau separuh ja. It's her story yang diringkaskan dari kaca mata sia. Tapi confirm bukan semudah itu. Kalau ikut kebiasaan, kan bagus kalau lelaki tu cukup ada satu bini ja. Dan kalau sudah ada bini tu, dia cuma sayang bini dia tu ja. Kan bagus gitu. Tapi rupanya banyak lagi pilihan lain di depan mata. Orang cakap hidup cuma sekali. So kau buli ja tibai semua peluang di depan mata kau. Tapi stilll...sia terfikir juga, nda best ka hidup cara conventional? Nda happy ka kalau kita ikut style orang tua kita yang kita panggil kolot tu? At least life dorang focus sepenuhnya sama keluarga dan kasi besar anak2. Tedalah main tapuk2 ni semua.   

I really hope guys punya trend akan berubah. Mungkin you guys memang dilahirkan buaya darat. Dengan trend yg semakin menjadi2 ni, manala tau kan one day, akan berlakunya "mutasi" di trend2 yang nda tentu2 ni semua, WHO KNOWS akan terlahirnya lelaki yg tidak buaya gara2 generasi lelaki sudah "sampai limit" and akhirnya kena RESET balik pigi ZERO. I want semua lelaki di dunia ni STOP memanipulasikan perempuan dengan keperluan dan kelemahan dorang. Bukan ada harapan ka tu? If you see it's a growing trend yg perempuan slowly mau overtake lelaki dalam macam2 hal. What if one day lelaki generasi akan datang tidak tau pun yg dorang yg sepatutnya dilahirnya buaya - gara2 perempuan masa tu sudah ambil alih semua sifat lelaki especially sikap kebuayaannya. Sia mau kamurang rasa tu rasa oren camana. 

HAHAHAHAHAHA :PPP 

"You Are Useful To This World"

Have you ever felt manipulated? And then felt something wrong about feeling manipulated? Hahaha. Like it's not right to feel manipulated. Whoa. Strange. But I feel dat right now.

Earlier today, a guy from another office, came to my place again. So many times he came to my place, definitely he has something to ask me. But other than that, he doesn't make himself too friendly. We can just bump and not looking at each other. It's fine cos I'm like that. But he's just different whenever he needs my help. He will pass all the doors and come straight to me. 256, I need your help. As silly as "can you transfer this money to my friend's account in Public Bank?"? Since he doesn't know how to use the machine. Of all the creatures in the building, he actually came to me for help. He gives me the cash. I could just go out and go to the Public Bank with him to teach him that but since I'm glued to my chair, I just use my account and transfer the amount and take his cash. He knows that it's nothing of a help for me. It's all in my fingertips. After so many times he asks for help, only now that I start to feel "manipulated". Of course he doesn't take a penny from me, in fact he bought me a bottle of orange juice (which my friend claimed to be "extraordinary" since the guy is not the type who would spend money on others)...Errr I don't mind about that. That's the thing. When I give small help, to me it's Nothing. Just as long as it doesn't cost me anything. Just "making some skill useful to others". Yeah, that's what I did.

And then in the late afternoon, received a whatsapp from my SIL and she asked for my help to compile short videos. O man I was easily pissed at that moment. Suddenly I found my limit. Hahahaha. Editing video is not easy and do I look too free? My SIL knows what I'm capable of doing since they saw a lot of my work but it  doesn't mean she can simply ask me to do her work. She will get all the credit (not that I want any) but I think she should learn how to do it cause it's important in her duty. She has a so-called high tech phone that should be able to do simple editing, when mine is considered mid-range. Such a waste to NOT learn a new skill and keep on asking people like me for help, and get all the credit! Nothing new. Back then, my sister did that too. She asked me to do job that was supposed to be done by her, to the extent of pressuring me to make it fast just so she could show it off to her boss and get all the compliments. WHOA! 

But actually all of those helps did not really put a burden on me, except for time pressure. And you know I hate taking orders. And you know all these skills come with a pricetag right? So especially when they ask me for free, they need to catch me in the right mood and timing. Or else I'd be mumbling like right now. Hahahahaha. 

But wait...

Why does it feel so wrong? Should I feel manipulated? Or APPRECIATED? Cos if I'm not skillful, no one will come to me for help. Doesn't that mean I'm useful to this world? Hahahahahaha. I mean, I am very much lacking in many areas, so don't I deserve to be appreciated in the areas where I'm good?  Maybe thats why I feel a bit wrong. I will have to pass this feeling. This is no good.

Then my aunty whatsapped me asking for price. Again, I have to cut the price into 3 because considering where my aunty is now, I get the kind of expectation they have. I really can't give too cheap but I know they are hoping. So I name the price and now just waiting if they accept it or not. I have to be prepared to be rejected. Hehe. Making business with strangers are 10 times easier than your own relatives. But they should know me by now. I will give extra free items for the price I ask, that's how I "help". If I don't even put rules on this, I'm not fit for my job. Sorry guys, but business is business!

So what now? Ah, avoid this silly negativity. I should feel mighty by now. Yeah, remind me the line, I'm useful to this world. Case closed. LOLS.

Always A Child In Your Parents' Eyes

This is nothing new. But we will realize it even more that, memang kita masih si kecil di mata parents kita. Dorang risau mana kita pegi. Dorang risau sama sepa kita hangout. Kita sebagai anak ni sedar akan proses kematangan kita, and same like our parents, dorang sedar juga proses kematangan diri dorang sendiri, TAPI... dorang tidak akan sedar benda yang sama bila dorang tengok kita. Kita adalah sentiasa "si kecil" dan "si naif" di mata dorang. Hehe

Sia ada dua nephew and nampak dorang dari lahir dan membesar jadi budak. Tapi for me, dorang sentiasa "baby" yang sangat comel yang sia gerigitan mau kubit. As if dorang sebagai baby tu yg paling sia ingat sedangkan everytime sia nampak dorang, kaki dorang makin memanjang, dorang makin meninggi dan pipi dorang nda labop lagi tapi kecomelan masa dorang kecil tu tetap sia nampak dalam diri dorang. So sia masih panggil dorang "2 baby" kalau sia cakap pasal dorang, cos thats what they are in my eyes. Sia nampak ja dorang, macam terus mau dukung, walaupun the first one memang tidak dapat didukung lagi la. Tapi kalau sia jalan sama dia, sia kambai dia sebab untuk protect dia, supaya dia tidak telanggar orang yg berlimpas. Itu kici pula pandai sudah jawab, Sia bukan baby lagi. Pandai makan nasi sudah ni. Hahahahahahaah. But then dia pasrah ja bila sia masih layan dia macam baby2. Sia kekiutan dan kelucuan. I guess mesti our parents wish kita nda grow up too fast from a cute child to this irritating adult, right? LOLS

Di sana la sia relate sama parents sia yang sometimes overprotective. Sometimes I feel that it's unfair cos sia sudah buli atur sendiri hal ehwal kerja sia tanpa menyusahkan dorang and semua problems sia settle sendiri. But then ada part yang they will keep reminding me like sia belum kenal pun dunia ni, macam semua orang yang dorang tidak kenal tu adalah jahat dan tidak selamat untuk kawan dengan dorang. Memang advice macam ni pissed us off kan tapi maybe sepa yang belum ada anak sendiri, memang tidak akan faham. Cos dorang nampak kita masa kita baru kena lahir dan jaga kita bagus2 sampai kita besar. Dorang kenal kita dulu sebelum kita kenal diri kita sendiri. Syukur lah Tuhan panjangkan umur kita semua. But sometimes kita kena consider juga kan, kita punya keselamatan tu adalah benda pertama dalam doa dorang setiap hari. In fact, bila ada sesiapa pi melancong atau jalan tempat jauh, orang tu ja la yang paling happy. Parents dorang di rumah yang bertungkus lumus kasi doa ke-happy-an anak dorang tu. You guys sedar ka dat? Hehe. I may say this jokingly la k - sia imagine it's a restless day for them setiap hari yang kita sibuk berhuha berselfie, dorang pula sentiasa risau, tidak buli tidur dan sebagainya, UNTIL the day bila kita sudah balik rumah dengan selamat, baru dorang boleh bernafas lega dan tidur nyenyak balik. Hahahaha. Gitu la parents kita. 

So remind me, sebab seorang yg rebellious macam sia ni memang nda berapa suka kena order or kena perintah (ntah ceduk dari mana perangai gini...hehe) so remind me, kita cuma si kecil di mata parents kita. Macamana I cannot help but see my nephews as babies, apa lagi sebagai parents yg tengok anak2 dorang. Percaya la, sejak dorang ada kita, kerja dorang asyik risaukan kita ja. I write all this to remind myself sebab sometimes sia rasa syak wasangka parents kita ni ter-overla sangat dan susah kita mau faham. Maybe lepas sia tulis ni, sia akan be more considerate towards them. 

Dan teda sepa sayang kita lebih daripada parents kita sendiri. Percayalah!

Are You In The Follow-Back, Like-Back Community?

You guys know kan, kalau di Facebook, kita accept someone's friend's request, bermaksud update masing2 most likely akan kelihatan di newsfeed masing2. Of course now you can Unfollow secara diam2 kalau kau ndamau tinguk update dia. At least kau tidak payah Unfriend atau Block, which boleh mendatangkan masalah lain pula kan?

Tapi Instagram pula, dia bersifat one way. Kalau pun org tu Follow kau, update dia kau nda akan nampak selagi kau nda Follow back to orang. And is it understandable for you yang apa yang muncul di Newsfeed or Timeline kita tu yang akan kita hadap sehari-harian. Mungkin ada jenis yang tidak kisah. Dorang okay ja apa2 benda yang keluar di timeline dorang, sebab hal kecil bagi dorang. So dorang ni nda kisah follow beratus, beribu orang. 

BUT... ada satu komuniti yang MACAM SIA. Sia cuma mau tengok update2 tertentu ja. Unless it's public figure, sia mungkin mau tau apa kejadian dalam life dia cos memang entertainment gossips ni satu hobi sia dari dulu but they are celebrities, they don't know us, so dorang ni kita anggap sebagai hiburan yang datang dan pergi. Tidak payah terlalu serious or terkesan sama life dorang. As you can guess, automatik kami bukan tergolong dalam FOLLOW BACK, LIKE BACK punya community. Kami mau Like apa yang kami betul2 Like, dan kami mau Follow siapa yang akan kasi update yg kami mau tengok ja. Biarpun followers kami mungkin beratus, beribu, maybe dalam saudara mara or real life friends cuma ada 10 ja pun, kalau buli sia tidak mau Follow Back. Kepada orang2 yang Follow instagram kami and then pesan Nanti Follow Back ah? Kamurang buat sia geleng kepala. Sebab sia faham apa dalam hati orang. Seolah-olah kamu assume dorang mau tengok update kau sedangkan orang tu mungkin tidak berminat. Tapi terpaksa Follow back kau sebab kau sudah notify (dalam bentuk ugutan halus?) as if your friendship depends on Follow-back, Like-back. Errr...

As you know, sia category yang tidak begitu BERSOSIAL dalam media sosial, walaupun sia suka tulis post status or sharing, tapi lebih kepada sebab sia sendiri memang suka menulis. And sia lebih kepada silent reader ja sebab...lebih daripada tu seolah-olah sia perlu bagi komitment pula untuk benda2 tu. Bukankah media sosial tu untuk kita jadikan pengisi masa dan hiburan sehari-hari, selain daripada belajar benda baru, dapat inspirasi baru dan sebagainya. There's no need untuk rasa tertekan, iaitu kalau KAU NDA FOLLOW OR LIKE BACK, mesti ada orang akan sakit hati dan putus kawan sama kau. Sounds like Kerja Gila kan? Hahahahaha. For me, asking someone to Follow Back or Like Back tu something yg BIKIN MALU. Belum tentu lagi dia mau Follow kau balik atau rasa post kau tu awesome sampai mau Like. Tidak malu ka suruh2 orang sedangkan dorang nda sudi? Hahahahahaha. Macam "teda idung" pula tu tau. Hahahahah. But then media sosial ni actually lebih rancak untuk yang suka bersosial. Rajin like, rajin comment, usually kawan dorang pun balas juga balik (especially di kalangan teens sebab dorang kan still excited sama online popularity ni...hehe). So the downside untuk yang anti-sosial macam sia ni, mesti kamirang pun kurang like, kurang follower. Tapi like yg kami dapat ni lebih besar makna dia sebab hanya yg betul2 Like and betul2 mau Follow ja akan buat, cos kami tidak pernah suruh dorang pun. Makaci banyak sepa yang sudi tu k? Hehehe

Macam kawan sia sorang ni. Dia ni kawan biasa2 ja. Tapi dia la yang GET IT. Dia selalu lepak tempat sia, cerita itu ini, and then one day dia join Instagram. Dia Follow IG sia, and apa sia post semua dia Like dan Comment. Setelah berbulan-bulan berlalu, sia TIDAK follow back dia pun. Tidak pernah jenguk IG dia pun. Cos sia tau mostly post dia mesti pasal family matters, yang sia nda kenal pun. My IG pula has nothing personal, semua pasal kerja ja, so SHE GETS IT. For once, sia fikir dia kecil hati sama sia, sebab sia terfikir juga sama ada dia jenis yang macam tu or not. Ternyata dia TIDAK. Dia tidak pernah tanya sia, Kenapa nda follow back? Dia masih wasap sia untuk datang lepak, kami cerita macam biasa. Sia yakin kawan sia ni mesti tidur nyenyak tiap malam sebab tidak jadikan benda remeh tu sebagai satu isu. This is maturity, guys. Apa kelas follow2 di IG tapi di luar belimpas ja kan? Haaaa, buat macam kami lagi bagus. Di IG kami belimpas, di real life kami lepak makan nasi penyet and cerita topik best. Hehehe

Sudah2 la kamu menyuruh urang Follow Back or Like Back kamu tu. Dorang pandai juga ba tu bikin sendiri kalau dorang rasa account kamu tu berbaloi untuk diFollow atau diLike. Uii, apa ni suruh2. Malu la bah sikit...LOLS

Note: Sorry la sepa2 yang rasa macam kana kubit samut api tu lepas baca. Hahahahaha

A Perfectionist Far From Perfect

Actually I was upset about something. When I try hard to make a plan that I thought was for everyone's good, hey, I could be wrong couldn't I?

Suddenly my mind brought me back then when I made totally a less good decision, which was based on the same judgment scheme that I'm still using now. When someone told me to cancel all my plan, I got really mad and upset about it. I thought of what if their plan was worse than mine?

Actually, for a few days, sia layan sia punya frustration. Macam sia rasa mau cancel ja semua. Macam sia mau rebel, tunjuk perasaan, mogok and sebagainya. Hahahaha. Tapi masa sia duduk2 diam2, entah lah, ada juga yang dapat go through tembok ego sia yg buli tahan tinggi juga ni. Tiba2 sia teringat last time when plan sia tidak jadi seindah yg dijangka. Bila sia fikir2, style sia bikin plan ni adalah berdasarkan kepada "avoiding bad surprises", contohnya, kalau sia plan satu event, sia mau tu event berjalan lancar and seindah dalam imaginasi sia, semua org happy, semua org akan enjoy, but expectation vs reality, mesti ada ja benda yang sia nda buli jangka dan di luar kawalan sia. In other word, I like to be in control. Sia mau semua ikut apa yang sia plan, iaitu termasuk emosi2 manusia2 yang terlibat dalam perancangan sia tu pun sia mau seperti yang sia plan dan imagine. WOW, seriously bah sia begitu selama ini? LOLS

Ada juga kebaikan kalau sia yg tukang plan sebab paling2 pun benda tu maybe tersasar but tidak la sejauh mana. Tidak akan wujud situasi when tiba2 kau stranded dengan teda makanan, teda tempat tinggal dan sebagainya. Cos benda2 tu sia sangat titik beratkan so sia akan susah payah atur, call orang, buat research and all. Tapi yang membezakan plan sia dengan reality adalah, rupanya benda tu tidak la jadi sehebat yang sia jangka. Rupanya ada benda lain yg hebat yang spontaneous, yang sia miss gara2 sia ikut sia punya plan asal yang mau semuanya kena tentukan sebelum masa. Which means sia disallow element of surprises. Balik2 juga method sia ni proven to be - NOT THE BEST for everyone yang involved. 

Jadi fikiran2 ni yang tiba2 datang dalam kepala sia. Tiba2 sia sedar diri and thank God sebab diam2 dia "kawan" sia dalam saat2 ni. Terus sia ingat when sia pray O God give me wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom yg sia perlukan. I need check and balance. 256, kau bukan sentiasa betul. Yeah, say that again.

Tiba2 hati sia ringan. Sia akan release half of the plan untuk allow SURPRISES to take place. Surprises yang memungkinkan the whole thing jadi se-awesome yang mungkin. Sia mungkin berjaya sekali dua, tapi sia tidak sentiasa betul. I must accept the fact yang sia kurang experience, sia lebih banyak theory ja, and I think I should give in. 

This is the side of me yang orang nampak sia perfectionist. Tapi kejadiannya adalah jauh sekali dari perfect. Kesian kan? Sebab tekanan mau semua benda ikut apa yang sia mau. Sandi tau proses dia. Mental burden tu I don't think you really know unless kau pun macam sia. It's time to change, don't you think? Biarpun bukan senang mau change nature kita but...we can adjust, and tolerate. Ah, I feel good having this kind of reflection session. I really appreciate this. Sometimes kamu sedar ka yang, actually you know you are annoying but there's nothing much you can do about it? What if, maybe there is something you can do about it? Don't you want to start doing it?

Bah, kita try la kan? Hehe

If RM30 doesn't make you rich...

...then don't bother to spoil your good record with cheating the amount that only let you save RM30. 

We went to a hotel today for a buffet dinner. Last time we went there, my bro gave the wrong info to the girl at the counter, since they are giving some discount for kids and senior citizens, my bro lied about the age of my first nephew, so the bill was cheaper by RM30. I didn't know it was happening because I left earlier. I was the one who booked the place, the place was near to my workplace and I felt like, Heck, do we have to lie for RM30?

So today, we went back there again and this time I took the early measure, like asking the cashier to count the bill before everyone arrived. Reason is I want to avoid embarrassment, and I didn't want to cheat RM30 anymore. Once is enough! But then, after all that thought, some of the staff there recognized me. "The moment I saw you, I recognize you, our regular customer." I was like, What? I only went here 2 times for lunch and once for dinner. But again, when they recognize me, I felt that, No way, I won't let them lie again just to save RM30. I said to my dad, I will pay that extra RM30 different from last bill. RM30, seriously? Even if we don't get caught, but seriously bah, berbaloikah kasi rosak record bersih kau untuk benda gitu?

I mean, do we get rich from RM30? No, right? Why not just pay! If we think the place is RM30 too expensive, avoid it. Even when no one is watching, tapi kau nda rasa macam kau si penyeluk saku yg ambil kesempatan untuk curi sikit duit yg kau tidak berhak? Seriously talking, sia pun pernah juga macam tu. Tapi tengok la sejauh mana sia sampai hati. Kalau orang bagi sia wrong change pun, pernah juga sia biar ja. Tapi sia ingat pernah sekali sia bayar tomyam dengan duit RM20 tapi dia kasi sia change duit yang as if sia bayar dia RM50. Sia betul2 tidak sampai hati, sia panggil tu orang dan bagitau dia silap bagi change. Dia hairan dan macam nda pecaya, kalau ya pun dia silap, kenapa nda biar ja kan? Dalam hati sia kan, SIA NDAMAU DUIT urang dengan cara ni. Sebab banyak cara sia buli earn the money dengan happy dan puas hati. Tidak la sia mau duit orang begitu.

Senang cerita. Kalau tu amount cuma berapa sen, berapa puluh, tidak berbaloi untuk sia kasi upset GOD yang merupakan sumber kenapa sia rasa sia mau ada nilai2 murni. Tapi bukan sebab sia memang begini dari dulu. Sia pun dulu macam orang lain juga, pernah greedy, tapi bila sia sendiri pun benci sama perangai gitu yang ada sama orang lain, sebab amount kecil2 pun mau tipu. Again, kalau mau tipu, alang2 yang kau buat beli satu life baru yg kau buli tinggal dengan gembira di dunia kau sendiri, ah, maybe tu berbaloi la sebab bukan alang2 amount duit tu kan. But RM30? Doi. Jangan banyak fikir la. Bayar ja and earn the life of a righteous person. Tidak rugi. Banyak rezeki yg datang dan tanpa henti2. Padahal kau baru berjaya tidak tipu RM30 ja. Syok apa!!! Try la buat something yg begitu. Confirm kau feel good. Kau bikin dulu baru kau pecaya. Try lah. Hehe  

The Story of The Old Rich Woman

Money is always the issue dalam hidup kita. Itu yg bikin kita stress, happy, sedih, biasanya memang berkaitan sama duit. Sometimes kita terfikir, adaka sampai satu masa yang kita akan stop stress pasal duit? Mesti banyak masalah kita yang boleh diselesaikan. Mesti semua orang happy. Most importantly, mesti KITA happy.

Last post pun berkait pasal Jadi kaya di usia 60 tahun. So today, secara tidak sengaja, sia terfikir sequel kepada post tu. Just now sepatutnya sia banyak kerja tapi entah kenapa hati sia ringan untuk ikut kawan sia pegi lunch. Dia kena telefon oleh sorang kawan dia, sorang warga emas yang umur dalam 60-an. Dia minta kawan sia ni kasi kawan dia makan. Sia pun kenal tu kakak so kalau sia join pun, tu kakak nda akan awkward. So masa makan tu, kami cerita2 lah. Dia cakap dia baru ja pegi pungut sewa di rumah arwah bapa dia, total pun dekat RM2k per month. Then rumah tu dalam proses penjualan sebab ada taukeh mau beli tu tanah untuk bikin hotel. So harga pun dalam RM1 juta lebih yang patut dibagi kepada semua adik beradik tapi hanya 2 orang saja yang masih hidup. Lain lagi duit pencen dia sebagai bekas kakitangan kerajaan. Boleh dikatakan, dia duduk2 tunggu duit datang ja setiap bulan.

Dia ni bukanlah categori "perempuan kaya" yang typical yang kita boleh nampak dari kemewahan luaran. Dia adalah si kaya yang senyap. Dia ni adalah perempuan yang hanya habis Form 3 masa dia kena offer kerja kerajaan, dan boleh dikatakan bertuah sebab sebenarnya dia teda kelayakan tu. Tapi tuah tu yg bagi dia kesenangan sampai sekarang. Dengan anak2 yang sudah besar sekarang, sebelum tu dia bercerai sama laki dia dan jadi single mother, tapi dia punya late father bijak kumpul harta. Bila dia jadi antara adik beradik yang panjang umur, dia dapat merasa kesenangan tinggalan bapa dia. So dalam keadaan dia sekarang yang tiada tanggungan, pencen masuk tiap2 bulan, ada rumah banglo sudah habis bayar, ada kereta kecil beberapa biji, anak2 sudah besar dan bekeluarga, ditambah lagi dengan pendapatan hasil penjualan rumah yang akan bagi dia beberapa ratus ribu, di usia 60-an, adaka bermaksud hidup dia akhirnya bakal sempurna, jauh beza dengan hidup kita yang hari2 risau pasal duit dan hutang?

Masa berbual-bual tu, sampailah satu masa dia cakap, Mari kita melancong? Masa tu sia beranggapan yang dia ni sudah keliling satu dunia sebab lama sudah dia pencen. Dia cakap, Tiada. Setakat pi Haji satu kali, Umrah 2 kali. Tidak pernah jejak tempat lain selain KL. Then sia heran la, Aik, Why kak? Then she said, "SEBAB TIADA KAWAN." Dia definitely ada kawan. Tapi kawan rapat dia pula ada larangan ke luar negara sebab status muflis. Lain2 kawan dia semua yang tidak begitu senang kewangan macam dia. Anak2 dia pula suka melancong sendiri2 dan tidak bawa dia. Mungkin pasal anak2 dia anggap dia lebih berkemampuan so dorang tidak mau tanggung dia. Dia sendiri pun tidak offer untuk ikut anak2 pi melancong. Dia end up sorang2 bikin hal sendiri, cari aktiviti untuk dibuat. Sedangkan untuk makan sehari2 pun, dia terpaksa contact siapa2 kawan supaya dia ada teman makan.

Ada beberapa kesimpulan yang sia fikir. Iaitu:

1. Di usia muda kau, when kau fikir kau sudah kawin dan ada anak, things will more likely to be all sorted out when you are old. Mesti kau imagine kau akan tua bersama dengan laki kau, dan imagine anak2 kau datang visit kau dan spend masa dengan kau dan cucu2. When the fact is fast forward 20-30 tahun kemudian, it could totally be the opposite. Kau still lonely cos berapa banyak pun anak kau, bukan jaminan yang kau akan sentiasa ada company dan jadi keutamaan dorang. Belum kira lagi anak yang terang2 derhaka dan tidak mau jenguk kau langsung. So sekiranya itu berlaku (palis2), kau rasa patutkah kau belittle orang2 yang tiada anak atau tidak decide untuk ada anak? Cos in the end, u two can still end up the same fate. Cuma cara handle situasi ja yang akan membezakan kamu. But, notice that, kadang2 kita sudah bikin yg terbaik kita mampu, tapi TIADA SIAPA YANG TAU apa kejadian belakang hari. What I mean is, nobody should make a conclusion on how things should end up. Mula dari sekarang, attitude menghadapi hari2 yang mendatang tu akan help us deal with sebarang situasi. Kita buat seja yang terbaik tapi don't terlalu menghakimi hidup orang lain, hidup kita pun belum tentu lagi macamana kejadian.

2. Ada duit memang adalah lebih bagus dari tiada duit. Betul. Tetapi semuanya berbalik kepada preparation kau me-welcomekan hari tua tu. Maksudnya berapa banyak pun duit kau ada, tapi kau kalah kepada kekangan kau, you end up sebagai A rich woman yang doesn't know what to do with her money. Bila sia nampak tu kakak yang blur "what to do next" sedangkan masa terus mengejar, tenaga semakin berkurang, still bercakap macam banyak benda lagi mau explore tapi still delay dan ndatau bila la mau bikin tu semua, Oh gosh, sia rasa sangat terkesan bila fikir situasi dia. Sia ndamau begitu. Dalam umuran sia sekarang pun sia consider myself actively trying to maximize my life walaupun macam2 kekangan juga. 

I've been very slow my whole life. Sia nda mau slow down lagi sebab sia rasa INILAH masanya yang sia rasa sia ada power bikin apa yang sia mau. Sia ndamau reach 60 years old and powerless. Sia ndamau ada banyak duit at 60 tapi tu duit tidak bagi sia power dalam life sia sebab sia sudah teda energy untuk tu semua. Now kita ada tu energy yang mampu menampung tu enthusiasm and spirit yang mau meng-explore, men-discover, nda patut disia-siakan. Bila kita tengok balik limitation2 seorang warga emas, semua benda dorang susah mau bikin. Mesti kau wonder, KALAU LAH DIA BIKIN NI SEMUA MASA DIA MASIH MUDA DAN BERTENAGA?

So maybe ini satu wake-up call. Walaupun gitu, sia yakin dat kakak ada sisi kehidupan yang sudah dia explore sebaiknya sebab I saw that she's trying to enjoy life juga dengan seadanya. I hope that just like us, she won't slow down. Kita pun tidak tau. She might be 60 plus but she might have another 30 years to live, while those much younger might have less. So sepa la kita untuk buat kesimpulan?

Pokoknya, jangan la berlengah lagi. Hidupilah kehidupan yang berbaloi. That's our mission. Are we all set? Good! Let's do it!

Rich At 60

2 days ago, I went to the bank. I already expected the officer will try to sell me something like ASB loan. So while he was getting things done, he chipped in some suggestion how to use my money. He said, with 50k ASB loan, I can expect to get some almost RM300K at the age of 60. He did highlight that when I do the investment myself without taking the ASB loan, I'd be making less. And plus, the insurance that comes with it. Ah, he's kinda smart. He knows what to highlight. But then I said, You mean I can only get that money when I'm 60 la kan? Then he said, I know what you are thinking. We don't know if we are still around that time kan? 

Err... well this is my thought.

I will say this again. I'm not a long term planner. I know it's a sweet thought to be old and have RM300K to spend. But what about now? Do I have to suffer for all the years reaching 60? Spend less, save more and that also means I will have to forget about a lot of things that need money to project. I will have to forget about travelling, about buying what I want for my personal satisfaction, about trying out new foods in new places, ah, just to list a few. I'm not the type who likes to save things for later cos something so worthy we have in our mind, they have expiry date. Next day we don't want it anymore. Have it while you want it the most. Now is the time when you have the energy, the enthusiasm, the time, a bit of the wisdom, a bit of the maturity; yeah, it's PERFECT. It's only money that stops us from our imagination of how we want to enjoy life. Life should not be saved for last. Life should be savoured now until the last. NOW!!!

Actually, sia sendiri pun belajar dari kehidupan berkaitan konsep ni. Sebab sia dulu pun suka save something for later. Contohnya, baju cantik. Ah, nanti la pakai bila ada hari special. So last2 sia nda pun terpakai tu baju sebab sempit sudah. Masa sia ngam tu baju, sia mau save tu baju utk hari yg lebih istimewa. Nda rugi ka? Baju yg kau adore and berangan mau pakai, kau tidak dapat pakai gara2 mindset yang ' akan tiba hari yg paling ngam mau pakai tu baju'. You can be right but you have to be very lucky. Not the kind of lucky yang biasa2. Sebab secara realisticnya, time bergerak pantas. Kau sendiri pun semakin dewasa ikut masa. Kau sendiri pun berubah. Akan ada beratus baju lagi yg kau akan suka. Tidak payah mau hold diri kau untuk satu benda yang temporary. Banyaknya benda yang menunggu untuk di-explore di kehidupan ni. Sekarang dengan blessings yang kau ada, ni lah masa untuk jadi si perwira dalam hidup kau. Perwira yang sudah jelas sama kemahuan dia dalam life. The warrior who will win her life. 

Sia agree kita kena menabung untuk masa tua. Tapi ke-obsess-an sia adalah kepunyaan Hari Ini. Sia tidak obsess tentang berpuluh tahun yg akan datang walaupun sia masih juga take into consideration sama ada "Will I still love this when I'm old?" which means sia consider juga yang sia could reach that old age juga. Sia ingat time sia argue sama sister sia pasal macam2 hal, dalam masa singkat ja dia buli U-turn sebab apa? Sebab kau tidak akan dapat jangka pun tentang esok, apa kan lagi minggu depan? Apakan lagi berpuluh tahun akan datang? Stop worrying pasal masa depan, sampaikan kau hold diri kau sebab kau percaya tu akan buat kau senang MASA KAU TUA. Sorry lah kalau sia cakap gini, kita tau ka kita akan capai setua mana? Bukan saja2 berfikiran sempit, but thats reality. Teda sepa kita di sini yang boleh confirm kita akan sampai 60 tahun melainkan mereka2 yang sudah pun mencapai umur tu. 

Kesimpulannya, sia mau happy SEKARANG. Sia mau menghargai warna2 kehidupan SEKARANG. Apa yang buat sia happy, sia akan buat dia SEKARANG. Sia save sikit untuk masa kemudian, tapi masa akan datang tu tidak akan kalah sama SEKARANG. So if you ask me? It's okay for me untuk tiada RM300K bila sia 60 tahun asalkan sia sudah mengisi hidup sia dengan kegembiraan sejak dulu lagi. Sebab it will make me a happy and satisfied 60-year old. Ah, so this is also an investment for my old days. Investment kebahagiaan. Hehe. I pray that we all will reach that old age. Lets prepare to be a happy and satisfied 60-year old, shall we?

Hujan Emas Di Negeri Orang...

Time di airport masa pulang, I talked to my aunty (younger sister to my father) iaitu seorang pensioner, yang sudah ikut almost all the travel destinations. Dia ni walaupun berumur, tapi kaki dia kuat. Tapi sia fikir dia akan surrender after last trip sebab sia sendiri pun sangat sakit kaki. So I told her betapa "jaranya sia" tapi dia cakap, "Mimang begitu. Tapi kau penat 3 hari ja tu. Lepas tu kau kepingin sudah mau travel balik."

Sikit pun sia nda pecaya bah. Hahahaha. Kalau urang bilang jara, jara la ba kan? Kaki sia betul2 sakit sebab berjalan yang mencari tempat dan mengejar masa. So Monday, Tuesday and kemarin, Yes, betul2 tu kepenatan tersimpan. I was still tired walaupun bercakap hyper macam biasa, boleh berjalan macam biasa, but kepenatan tu terpendam. Sia belum berpeluang untuk rest banyak sebab sia kejar kerja yang bertimbun. So, betulkah sia sudah jara ataupun sia akan akur sama aturan 3-hari yang aunty sia cakap tu? Hahahaha

Sorry ahh. Sia pecah record. Biarpun sedang jara sakit kaki, sibuk sudah sia plan next punya destination! Hahaha. Tapi concept sia nda berubah. Kalau ikut sia, sia ndamau pegi tempat yang 

1. Lagi mundur dari tempat sendiri

2. Penuh dengan kesemakan dan kesesakan mengalahkan tempat sendiri

So just now I was asked whether sia mau join trip to Taiwan, sia terus cakap TIDAKKKK! Cukup la kena decide satu kali di mana sia mau pegi. Tadi time balik, sia nikmati pemandangan sepanjang jalan. You guys know what I thought? PUNYA CANTIK NI KK. CANTIKNYAAAAAAA. Bila sia teingat bandar Hatyai yang "serabut", dengan wayar letrik yang berkulut dan kusut macam rambut sia, YA AMPUNNNN. Teruk2 tempat kita ni teda kita nampak gitu. Tiba2 sia anggap diri sia sebagai pelancong yang datang pi KK, sia YAKIN sia akan berasa kagum. Sebab kedudukan building di KK, infrastructure di pusat bandar, kemas, tersusun, moden, senang hati yang memandang. Ditambah lagi dengan "slow and easy" (nda macam di KL), sia tidak hairan pelancong akan fall in love sama tempat kita. Kamu tau ka negeri Sabah kita ni sangat sangat cantik? Time sia di Samila Beach, sia inda rasa tu aura yang ada sama Tanjung Aru Beach. In fact sia sentiasa ingat keindahan tempat2 best di Sabah bila sia browse tempat2 menarik sebab sia confirm one thing, Kalau setakat Pantai, Pulau, Gunung ---  jangan la cari di negara orang sebab yang tempat kita ni YANG TERBAIK. Thats why benda2 yang sia cari kalau mau travel:

1. Tempat yang ada architecture yang maha hebat, yang ancient dan penuh nilai sentimental (French, Rome, Spain...among others)

2. Flora dan fauna yang supercreative ciptaan manusia yang belum ada di tempat kita yang lebih suka sama apa yang semulajadi (Montreal Botanical Garden di Canada, fuh gila) 

3. Tempat yang sejuk! (Cos tempat kita panas)

4. Famous benchmarks like Eiffel, Fountain of Trevi, Colleseum, Louvre, Pisa...among others

So, jangan la dorang suggest2 benda nda tentu2 unless kau sudah round semua tu, then kau buli la hantam2 ja pegi mana2 asal tengok tempat baru. Tapi selagi kau belum, pegi la tempat yg kau mau pegi, kasi happy diri kau, cari perspective baru dalam life, positifkan fikiran dan sebolehnya, kau balik dari vacation as someone yang lebih awesome. Bah ok lah, sia mau keja kuat mula saat ni  ni mau kumpul duit mau pigi traveling ni gengg...Hahahahahha

What I Did With My BaHt

Source: Google images

Hi all. I'm back. I went to a short vacation to Hatyai and just got back last night. Well, I don't think I will share photos from that vacation because of the silly policy of privacy that I've been applying since day 1 (but with many leeways and leaks, ah just let them go).

Actually I'm not interested to go to Thailand but I'd consider if it's free. So finally it happened. Someone paid for my tour fee so I just went ahead with it. It was all pre-planned since end of 2018. So despite all that, I'd like to be prepared. I usually would find out a few things from surfing the net, blogs, youtubes and even reviews and the things that I wanted to find out were:

1. What to eat and where

2. How much things cost compared to MYR

3. What to buy that are not available elsewhere

4. What travelers love about the place from their experiences

Since Hatyai was not even in my bucketlist, I decided to take it easy. Come to eat, eat and eat! I didn't intend to do some serious shopping since I think I know where to get my favourite stuff. If you guys don't know already, I'm a Shopee crazy shopper. I love Shopee so much cos I could buy anything that most of them I could never never find around my place. So what else in Hatyai not available in Shopee? So thats why I was not into the shopping idea but then I still brought a sufficient amount of money in both currency since I didn't want to get left out if it was really really cheap there, WHAT IF, right? 

From the blogs that I read, they did say they bought many stuff there but hard to find those who made a commentary on HOW CHEAP are the goods in Thailand particularly in Hatyai. Of course, from the currency, we all know we are ahead of Thailand but then you can't really compare that way. Just because you know the Thais are flocking to work to Malaysia, well, maybe once upon a time our currency was much stronger. 

I'm a person who values money because I know how hard it is to earn it. So I will only spend on things that are worth it. So finally when I landed Hatyai, I finally found out the truth after all the researches. The truths are:

1. I thought street foods are easy to find in Thai. We still need to get in the right area to be able to see a lot of choices. Even in the crowded market like Kim Yong, I didn't see those street foods just everywhere. I said to myself, How far should I walk to find the street foods ah? Maybe I could blame this on our tour guide for not assisting us enough with the location of the street foods for they are  not just everywhere.

2. Just like Malaysians, the sellers have different price for the tourists. Same with them. But then it took away the impression that Thailand with lower currency, Malaysians can shop like mad. It's NOT TRUE. They have some nice bags with owls and elephants on them which we don't really find everywhere here in Sabah, but they are not made of leathers of what. They are meant as souvenirs and not exactly the bag that you use daily to work. The bags that I was interested, was RM50 and above. Still affordable but it's not cheap! I could spend double the money and got one branded imported bag here in Sabah. The first shop that I made big purchases was at this shop selling snacks. I took 7 packs and already 960 Baht which is around RM129 (since 1000 Baht is RM135). I mean, SNACKS! Most of them are familiar snacks just with different packing with some Thai letters but hey, what is the meaning of having higher currency when the same items can be bought with cheaper price or maybe just the same. So, why do I travel so far just to buy something that cost the same? Hello? This is not America. This is Thailand bah! Hahaha

3. I planned to spend anyway since I already changed the money to Baht. I least I wanted to buy shoes, nice clothes, a bag that I can bring to work, a good quality purse...yeah at least all that. But when I entered the shops nearby the hotel, I didn't like most of the bags. The ones that I thought was okay cost 2000 - 3000 Baht. When it's not yet the perfect one in terms of colour and size. Which means I need to prepare more than 3000 Baht (which is RM400 plus) just to get the bag that I really like. Crazy right? I'm the type of person who buys a bag because it's lovely. I don't expect to use the same bag for too long. So, spending too much on a bag is a no no to me. The same with blouses. The nice blouses we can get around 300 Baht but still not so much choice that I like. I was torn between the price and the item. When the price is already in my range, I couldn't find exactly what I like. In other word, it's not worth it.  

I did buy some blouses which were on sale (but there was only 1 shop that offered some discount. So I bought them hastily cos I could give them as souvenir if I don't want to wear them. Or else I might end up not spending my Baht if I refused to buy the items on discounts. On the finak nite, I planned to just buy anything to use all my Baht but still, I failed since our free time was during nightime and most of the shops were closed. Lack of choice I really couldn't force myself to buy anything anymore!

So I ended up with some 2100 Baht balance. A bit frustrated cos I got no bag, no purse (Errr...I already have them all but I mean, I'm a tourist I should get a new bag from the country of the lower currency, don't you think? Hehe) So now I'm back in Sabah, I went to sell back my Baht and got RM281.40. I forgot about my handbag mission cos I didn't actually need it desperately. Suddenly I thought, eh, What if the mission is not yet over? I still could spend all my baht value on my items but with some strategy. I could use the RM to buy the bags! I went to Servay Premiere and went to the branded ladies handbag and they cost around RM200 - RM400 BUT they have some 20%, 50%, 70% and even Best Buy prices. Easily, I picked on handbag RM369 with 70% discount, and a purse of RM339 with 50% discount and the bill was RM274.40! Don't you think I still made the Baht worked for me? Hahahaha

So now, I'm considered happy and I would like to rebrand my Hatyai trip as "fruitful" cos until yesterday, I was quite frustrated with many things about the trip. I was so tired and still brought limited stuff home. The stuff that I spent my Baht on are:

1. 7 snacks from the local snack shop + 2 packs of peanut snacks 

2. Meals from 2 restaurants for lunches 

3. Foods from the street for 3 nights for supper (I never finished them)

4. Drinks from 7 Eleven

5. 2 Hatyai kid shirts for my nephews

6. 2 Hatyai adult shirts for my bro and dad

7. 6 blouses

8. Keychains, fridge magnets, lil purses with Hatyai on it

9. Monobo jelly sandals for my lil feet...hehe

10. Oh forgot, 1 Haytai tshirt for myself too. Hehe

11. 1 bag with elephant print on it (for myself too)

12. All coins donated to the Church during mass

13. I got charged 35 Baht for taking a mineral water from the hotel's fridge. Hahahaha

14. Street kuih the early sellers were selling on our last morning there. Most of them were selling kuih with some pork inside it. I was left with one choice. The little koci-like wrapped kuih with no filling. Just 50 Baht but a lot of them. That was worth it.

Like I said, Hatyai trip could get low points from me. But since my friends were asking about the trip, I decided to compile some videos from the trip and they were so impressed with it! Suddenly I think back all the places we went to, it wasn't all that bad. I mean, I managed to hilight the good things in the video, they all thought it was a wonderful journey and already asked me about the next trip if they could join. Even my mom said it she likes the video so much! Well, who am I to say No, right? Hehe. It's so strange. Sometimes when you thought it's bitter, it is but then it runs out of bitterness. Now only you can feel the sweetness. Oh, I decided this trip is indeed Fruitful. 

I wonder if I can get another sponsored vacation like this. *giggles

Thank you God for the safe journey!