Have you ever felt manipulated? And then felt something wrong about feeling manipulated? Hahaha. Like it's not right to feel manipulated. Whoa. Strange. But I feel dat right now.
Earlier today, a guy from another office, came to my place again. So many times he came to my place, definitely he has something to ask me. But other than that, he doesn't make himself too friendly. We can just bump and not looking at each other. It's fine cos I'm like that. But he's just different whenever he needs my help. He will pass all the doors and come straight to me. 256, I need your help. As silly as "can you transfer this money to my friend's account in Public Bank?"? Since he doesn't know how to use the machine. Of all the creatures in the building, he actually came to me for help. He gives me the cash. I could just go out and go to the Public Bank with him to teach him that but since I'm glued to my chair, I just use my account and transfer the amount and take his cash. He knows that it's nothing of a help for me. It's all in my fingertips. After so many times he asks for help, only now that I start to feel "manipulated". Of course he doesn't take a penny from me, in fact he bought me a bottle of orange juice (which my friend claimed to be "extraordinary" since the guy is not the type who would spend money on others)...Errr I don't mind about that. That's the thing. When I give small help, to me it's Nothing. Just as long as it doesn't cost me anything. Just "making some skill useful to others". Yeah, that's what I did.
And then in the late afternoon, received a whatsapp from my SIL and she asked for my help to compile short videos. O man I was easily pissed at that moment. Suddenly I found my limit. Hahahaha. Editing video is not easy and do I look too free? My SIL knows what I'm capable of doing since they saw a lot of my work but it doesn't mean she can simply ask me to do her work. She will get all the credit (not that I want any) but I think she should learn how to do it cause it's important in her duty. She has a so-called high tech phone that should be able to do simple editing, when mine is considered mid-range. Such a waste to NOT learn a new skill and keep on asking people like me for help, and get all the credit! Nothing new. Back then, my sister did that too. She asked me to do job that was supposed to be done by her, to the extent of pressuring me to make it fast just so she could show it off to her boss and get all the compliments. WHOA!
But actually all of those helps did not really put a burden on me, except for time pressure. And you know I hate taking orders. And you know all these skills come with a pricetag right? So especially when they ask me for free, they need to catch me in the right mood and timing. Or else I'd be mumbling like right now. Hahahahaha.
But wait...
Why does it feel so wrong? Should I feel manipulated? Or APPRECIATED? Cos if I'm not skillful, no one will come to me for help. Doesn't that mean I'm useful to this world? Hahahahahaha. I mean, I am very much lacking in many areas, so don't I deserve to be appreciated in the areas where I'm good? Maybe thats why I feel a bit wrong. I will have to pass this feeling. This is no good.
Then my aunty whatsapped me asking for price. Again, I have to cut the price into 3 because considering where my aunty is now, I get the kind of expectation they have. I really can't give too cheap but I know they are hoping. So I name the price and now just waiting if they accept it or not. I have to be prepared to be rejected. Hehe. Making business with strangers are 10 times easier than your own relatives. But they should know me by now. I will give extra free items for the price I ask, that's how I "help". If I don't even put rules on this, I'm not fit for my job. Sorry guys, but business is business!
So what now? Ah, avoid this silly negativity. I should feel mighty by now. Yeah, remind me the line, I'm useful to this world. Case closed. LOLS.
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