Don't tell me you never wonder how good looking you are in the eyes of the beholders. Hahahaha. This post is generally about us wondering about whether or not people look at us the same way we look at the good-looking people that we saw.
I had this one dreaming attitude - I mean, usually what I think is usually what will appear in my dream and usually it's in my favour. (Usually, not all, not everytime). I remember going to sleep wondering "What am I ahh? Am I or am I not beautiful bah sebenarnyaaaa? Hahahahaha. Actually it's embarrassing to write about it but nevermind, it happened long time ago. So that nite I dreamt of my English teacher from secondary school, Yeah, her, of all the people in this universe. LOLS. She actually told me, Haiyaa, you are pretty bahh. Confirm ni, you ARE PRETTY. And then I woke up. Oh Shit. It was not even real pula. Hahahahaha. I wanted to laugh so much cos it was just another dream that was biased. Exactly like the one before when I was wondering what mark would I get for my project presentation back in third year Uni because my friends applauded me, they told me "I think you really gotta get an A for that" because my topic was outside the niche of my course. So that nite I dreamt that my Maths teacher told me, "You get an A! Congrats" and then I woke up. OH SHIT. I got my hope high like the Everest. Deep inside I knew the possibility of not impressing my lecturers because I was doing "my own greatness" but not in the scope of the subject. Yeah, like the usual 256 rebellious ways. Hahahaha. Here comes the verdict. I actually got a C+ for it. Yeah. My dream was cheating on me. Hahahaha. So back to the topic, you think I was gonna trust my dream again kah? Hahahaha.
Okay guys. Here's my point. What made me write this because I realize something that I have a friend who always talk about her physical bad points. She will always remind people that she's short, that she's chubby, that she is getting older and never fails to blame aging for everything that starts to go wrong with her body. And not just that, she does the same evaluation on people. I overheard her conversation with her brother, who asked her opinion whether or not he should go to a casting of this modelling project. She called her right away and said, "Di sana ada cermin ka? Cermin la muka tu sikit. Layak ka inda. Jangan buang masa pegi benda2 begitu bila tau sama juga nda kena terima." She actually said that in the same annoying manner she often uses when she talks to her little brother. Actually her brother has the potential that's why he was offered. Right there I knew she officially punishes everyone for the things she could criticize about their looks. That's just the way she is. Then I realize something else... THAT I'M NOT LIKE HER.
I have people complimenting my looks in different way, and I have people telling me that no, I'm not that pretty but I have a very attractive smile. Then I remember even people I didn't like, telling me out of the blue, 256, you're so pretty. But just don't take the word raw. People compliment us for different reasons the same reasons they don't. Maybe we are pretty because of our dresses or makeups or grooming, and enough for someone to compliment us. Or we do something good that makes people feel good about us, they will say the nicest compliment. Maybe they think we are kind. Maybe they appreciate our hospitality. Our understanding. Our maturity and maybe there's just something about us that makes them feel good. Suddenly the sight of us is just a "pretty" conclusion.
As for me, this is me. These people can come and go with their opinions and I don't necessarily want to know. I prefer them to keep it to themselves cos we rather not be misled by any insincere compliments. Hehe. To be honest, with my talkativeness and what not, I seriously think some people will come to like me or dislike me. You already know that too, right? Looking just at our face and physical is just so plain NOTHING to even take anything seriously. There's really so so sooo much about a person that YOU MUST learn and take time to appreciate. For example, if you are in the position to value some of my skills, some of the things I'm good at, how I am a good-listener as well as a talker (erkss), appreciate my philosophy, appreciate the way I think, the effort that I do and how I gain some of my inner strength considering my fragile nature, ALL THAT --- if you can see the values of myself in these aspects, then my physical CAN'T DO a thing to you anymore. You just have to like me a bit despite how I look. It doesn't matter la bah if she's not the beauty pageant material ka or what, then you'll go about saying something good just because you saw my values. Trust me not everyone agree that Catriona Gray is drop-dead beautiful, but heck, she's the new Miss Universe oh, lagi mau argue ka? Hahahahahha. Still, some people will disagree juga. You get my point?
I hate to come to the same phrase Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, damn everyone knows that bah. If you understand the person's value, it's inside her physical, whatever her physical is - is not that important sudah. Cos memang there's always a way to conclude that the person is beautiful. And about my friend, don't do what she does. That's not a winnable battle. Your physical attributes make you, You. Just accept yours as well as others' unique creation.
So in case your are still wondering if you are or you are not beautiful, Wonder No More! :))
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