I always have questions about religions, especially about mine; Catholic. I'm always surrounded by people from different beliefs, and different groups of Christian, but after all the time accepting the differences, never before that I was called to start finding out what caused the differences. Now that the person who is the closest to me is also a protestant, he helped to raise up some points where I start to find myself even more curious than ever. It's not because I simply DOUBT, it's because I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH. I think there's a reason why God provides all the knowledge in the world, even making it easier for us to access information more than ever, I feel the need to start using all this to know more about God.
To be honest, I don't like to be accused to have blind faith. But sometimes I wonder if I've been doing that my whole life. I felt quite sinful when I attended masses and instead of participating, I became an observer. I started to wonder the reasons why the mass is conducted in such a way, with all the rituals and procedures that I don't know why they do it. Even the robes that the priests are wearing, and with all the other things I saw at the altar, I wonder how necessary are they and why they need to be there. Sometimes everything looks so luxurious that I got distracted by the decorations and shining equipments and clothes. I understand that they perform the important event of The Last Supper every mass, that's why they call it Eucharistic celebration. It's about The Bread. Jesus passed the bread to His disciples during the last hour before His crucifixion. I got even distracted that the priests are reading straight from the big Bible near him as they conduct the blessing of the bread. I thought that it would be more heartfelt if they can just speak the words without reading. I thought that they should be able to memorise the words after countless of times handling masses. Yeah, I have all these things in my head. I feel guilty too but if I don't sort them out, I could not just fake my devotion. I don't think that I don't have the right to know and to understand. Like I have written before, No religions are perfect. I don't expect mine to be. But it's good to know and to understand more, so that it won't get in the way between you and your ways of reaching to God.
I even started wondering about why Mother Mary has her rank in the Catholic Church, while others think that she doesn't even deserve it. It hurts me to see how others speak of my religion as if it was a joke. I've always believe that The Rosary prayer is one very powerful prayer. So I don't think it's fair that others think less of her. There must be concrete reasons why she's put in her position in the Church. That's why, I did some serious readings for the past few days. I'm glad that I could google for some reliable sources - and I even read some random ones written by laymen like me - which I think do help me in understanding what the fuss is all about.
The result is...I do find some answers to my questions. I wonder what did I do all this time that I didn't look for them earlier. I could be knowing more by now if I did. So again, the reading continues. I do ask for His guidance so I can be guided to come to the articles that really reflect the truth. I convey to Him that I want to know The Truth about Him and I believe, only by that I can build the kind of faith that we need. So I hope I have great stuff to write and share with all of you.
Note: 13th February is Ash Wednesday :) I will use this season of Lent to learn about that season itself, and to understand the 40 days that Jesus went through. Something that I failed to do before. :))
James 1:5-6
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
2 comments:
Shallom Miss 256
Topic yg sangat menarik dan sangat mencabar.. mencari sesuatu yg betul , mencari jawapan dan mencari sesuatu itu sering belaku kepada setiap org.. dikala kita yg sangat peka akan sesuatu itu menyebabkan kita melihat dan terus menilai seterusnya mengkaji dan membuat kesimpulannya.. sangat betul Tuhan menciptakan manusia dgn akal fikiran yg berbeza... kekadang kita mula bertanya akan diri kita, pelbagai2 persoalan kita tanya dan tanpa sedar jawapan ada d hadapan kita... sebenarnya kita tidak perna berhenti berfikir.. dan akan terus mencari dan mencari sehingga kita mendapat jawapannya dan puas.. tetapi adaka kita perna puas?...
kekadang kita harus bersyukur kerana kita suda ke tahap ini ataupun sekarang. esok akan bertemu satu lagi cabaran, persoalan, pencarian dan jawapan.... mengapa harus menilai kembali masa yg telah berlalu pergi dan yg suda kita lalui ? sedangkan Indahnya, sedihnya, suda pun kita rasakan.. dan apa yg suda dilalui itulah yg telah menguatkan iman kita mengajar kita utk percaya kepada Dia, walaupun kita kurang ilmu atau pengetahuan tetapi kita masih lagi terus mengikuti dia....
mengapa harus mencari? mengapa harus menilai? rasakan damainya dan indahnya sahaja dan semuanya menjadikan engkau indah dan merasakan damai bersama kristus.. ros kudusnya tidak perna berhenti melawan keinginan daging dan keinginan dunia yg kita kendalikan.. mengapa harus melihat yg lain jika engkau suda mengalami sentuhan Kristus...
Happy Easter~!!
Hi...Thanks for this comment my friend. I really really do appreciate it and there's some strong word that you said there. Hope to see you more in the comment box. Thanks again :))
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