I’m savouring my emotional process of “eyes cleaning” right now. Hahaha. I was about to write a status update at my Facebook, but then I decided to just move them here my blog is getting dusty again…hehe. Ok, here we go.
Something very cute that my dad still does until today is when we are not at home, he goes visiting each of our rooms and help clean a bit of the mess in our rooms, put the clothes in the place and even empty the rubbish basket...but he will not touch the mess on the my table, or change the position of anything cos he knows I might be mumbling if I could not find the tiniest thing, like a needle. ( call that being difficult...hahaha) The moment I enter my room and saw my dried clothes are nicely folded, I giggles cos I know it's my dad. I never say Thank you to him when I go downstairs and saw him sitting there. I just know that my dad doesn’t ask for a Thankyou. He he does that voluntarily because he has free time at home.
When I was a lil girl, my dad always held my hand as we walked, as I was asking all the funny questions to him. Maybe we won't know how our parents look at us, after being there every steps of our lives, sometimes they just miss the time when we were still kids, when we needed them to even walk properly. Although how tough life was back then for them to provide for our needs, sent us to school, but it was the joy of it that they brought with them. Now our parents are getting older, aren’t they? Still, they never leave our side. My dad’s act, reminds me of myself when I was still a little girl. I was very dependent to him. When I cried or had a fight with any other kids including my sibling, I always called my dad. I would hug me till I stop crying. As I got bigger, I never consulted my dad anymore. I did all the things on my own, I made all the decisions based of my own judgment and I remember I even argued with him because he always have different things in mind and I wanted to have things to go my way. I remember saying to my friends when I was still at school."Why our parents think that we are still small kids? That they must ask us where we go and with whom. Sometimes they just told us what they want us to do in life, as if they knew it better than us." Yeah, isn’t that familiar? How hard it is to realize that our parents DO MISS the times when you still would listen and care for everything that they said, because back then they felt it how important they were to their kids. They miss the kids in us. They miss doing all the things they used to do for us. Maybe, that was why my dad took the chance to go to our rooms and then did what he would do back then, cos in a way, we still are not as manageable as we thought we should. We do still need their hands in our lives.
What finally knocked senses into me was after my brother’s wife, gave birth to the first grandchild in the family, and also our first and only nephew so far. His name is Brandon. A very cute baby boy. I saw that everytime they go and visit our house, my sister in law is giving everything she can, how she breastfeeds the baby, how she could not even see the baby cry because she will calm him until he starts giggling again, and how she talks to the baby, in a tone full of pure love. I suddenly saw the vision of my own mom, taking care of us. I saw the love in the eyes of the mother. I imagine that she would not even let a mosquito land on our skin and bite us. She would leave anything she was doing when she heard us crying. Now I can finally imagine how much the love that our parents gave us since the day we were born. I am so touched as I am typing this. I’m crying so hard cos it appears that we forgot how hard it was for them to raise us, and now we are grown up and we can do what we want, and remember how many times that we hurt them we didn’t even feel sorry. I wonder if we even care to pause and look at the same way we did when they were the only people that we knew. Those people, with the hands that raised us. Do we even care to look back and appreciate what they have gone through for us?
Now that I have written this, I could not go out from my room behaving like a heartless zombie anymore that I had once become. Why not to just do things to make our parents happy. Buy them what they like as long as we can afford, and most importantly, PLEASE do not toss back to their face all the efforts of trying to teach us to be a good person. That would hurt them so badly. We have done wrong before, it’s okay, but find the way back home and tell them,
“Yes, your kid is back”….
Yeah, why not? We were once really "that kid" that they fed with their hands, that they put to sleep, that they hugged and pampered, that kid was us. I do not blame you if you can't feel anything yet, maybe it's true that until you have your own kids, then only you realize even more how much you should love your parents. Are you sure they gonna be around to see that happen? Some of our friends have lost theirs. So you know...they won't wait forever for us to finally realize.
When they are still around, lets us love them wholeheartedly. They are the most angelic people in our lives, that are irreplaceable, no matter how good the person that is gonna be our spouse. Oh Lord…thank you for giving us our parents. Please give us enough time to repay back their love to us, although no amount can ever be enough. May you keep them healthy and protected and may I ask a share of your blessing to me to go to them…Thank you. Thank you Lord for giving us very lovely parents. Amen.
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