I remember writing a post when it was coming to the end of 2009. It was a bitter post. I wanted so much to say goodbye. 2009 wasn’t a good year for me but I could not remember why. Maybe because there were just too many conflicts revolving my job. Yeah, 2009 was filled with job issues. 2010, in the other hands, has too many emotional issues. What do you think? Should I feel impatient to leave this year too? Surprisingly, the answer is No. I am taking my time to see the time slips. I do wish that the time is slower. I want to be totally ready for 2011. Would I ever be ready? Hahaha. You bet.
2010 is a Very Interesting year for me. Although it brings so much heartaches that I don’t expect, but still it’s a year that gives variety of experiences for me. This year taught me all over again that Time changes things. And speaking of time, sometimes things can just be difference in 1 day, let alone months. This is also the year that I think I learn the most knowledge about men. I mean, I can even come up with a complete workable theory about Men and Their Nature; cos this year I have learnt a great deal. If you walk in to my life, even if you don’t leave so courteously, actually I still have the lesson to thank you for. You won’t even know I’m studying your every move. So to all the men that have been in my life this year…you have no idea that what a smart lady I have become. Studying men…don’t you think that’s what ladies should do? We want to understand them so we know how to handle them. Knowledge doesn’t come for free though. I even have to put myself as the “subject of a study case” just to gain real-life relevant knowledge.
This year gave me so many spiritual roller coasters that were so freaking tough. I experienced distance in faith and regained it back. I also have days where I declared as “Care-Less” because I “disconnected” myself with surrounding and just spent quiet time trying to soul-search again. It sounds really tough right? The worse part is when I thought I wasted so much time dealing with the emotional issues.
2010 saw it all that I was being a step more open with my online friends. I started using Facebook where they get to know slightly better things about me, although still not that much. I also started talking in Yahoo Messenger where people could attack me privately with private questions. It was indeed hard to stay very much anonymous when using applications that let you “share more” with people. So if you ask me if I was happy with all that, it was tough to answer No because I am still going to keep using those. But I can say that it was not as bad as I thought it was. At least I know better how to control things from controlling my life. Those are only tools. You can’t blame the tools if you misuse them and let them ruin your life. Tools don’t have brain. But you do.
2010 saw it how I lost my faith and regained it. Repeatedly. I did not say it openly about losing faith though, because I know it’s just the state of mind and I don’t want people to follow my step. You gotta have faith no matter what. It was the year I showed some of my biggest strengths and at the same time, saw how I gave in to my weaknesses. All the years I managed to not be fragile again, I broke it in 2010. I finally was in the most fragile state that I’d break anytime. I saw myself being so influential at one time, and a sober at the rest. 2010 witnessed that I discovered so many weaknesses that I never knew I had. So what do you think? It’s a knock of reality. It’s amazing that we’ve been living with “us” and still don’t really know so much about this “entity” that we are living with.
My health was superb for 2010. For the first 6 months, I did not deal with ANY kind of sickness at all. That was a very amazing case for me because I was a person of flu and sore throat. I thought that my immunity performed so good that I did not even get a sore throat in 6 months. Usually I get this disease at least once a month because I always get it from people. I am always very susceptible to the virus. Now you know why it was a big deal for me to not get flu in months. Unfortunately, I dealt with 2 kinds of sickness that actually equals to getting flu/cold every month. One was when I had really serious muscle ache when I got up one morning resulting from wrong posture that lasted for 2 weeks. The pain was so terrible that I could even cry in pain just sitting there not doing anything. The pain on my shoulder and arm was killing me. Luckily I got over it with self treatment by doing the proper kind of stretching everyday. The second one is the food allergy that I got on 30th Dec. It was superterrible that I lost “my life” instantly. Suddenly there’s a foreign object that is controlling your body. The rashes appeared on my skin and disappeared just to appear again in the other area. The itchiness would even make you scratch your skin with knife, not feeling that it would hurt cause your bloody wounds. That’s how bad the sicknesses were.
My job is doing much better and I become more well-known among new customers. I’m losing my anonymousness little by little and guess what, I don’t know why I think that it’s a good sign if I’m ready to lose more. Hahaha. I think that I’m more professional in what I do and I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING and I usually know what my customers want. Keeping a customer is 5 times cheaper than getting a new one so keep in that mind 256! Hahahaha. Better things are waiting for me ahead. I must move forward!
My oh My…2010…Despite all that, I am still not giving you a bad label. Many new experiences that I have in my life, come from you. Or maybe maturity that makes the difference. If I were to have this 2010 much younger, maybe I could be cursing and crushing the memories that I have from you. Or maybe 2010 was really an interesting year for me because the next time I face the same experience again, I would know how to handle it.
I have a confession to make. I left 2010 with “a big mess”. I know that 2011 is not going to be easy since I have a lot of work to “clean the mess” that I brought from 2010. 2011 is not going to be simple either because after having a year like 2010, nothing simple could beat that. Plus…I’m going to make 2011 A BIG YEAR for me. 2011, you are going to witness how I say “thanks” to 2010 and all the years for teaching me for much.
2011 is going to be a FANTASTIC YEAR in my life.
NOTE: Sorry for this late post. Better late than never...*giggles.
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