"A Pandora Box"

When people get to read your writing but you hide behind a pen name, people get curious. Even if there's really nothing much about it. Just to have a name to sign at the bottom.

What's in the mind of the likes of Doe Zantamata when they first pick the pen name. Do they intentionally create a game so people will find a way to solve a puzzle? I don't really know. But speaking of Doe Zantamata, I got really curious about this author too. You could see my post about her in the list of most popular posts in my blog. I bet many were like me, and their curiosity brought them to my blog. I especially love all her motivational poems. Her way of thinking just the same as mine,  I mean I don't find that always. This was years ago when she started to get attention because her quotes and poems were all over the Facebook, and everywhere. So that time was her peak. I bet she would feel really excited seeing people getting too curious to know about her if she intended it. Because it worked. She wrote amazing stuff to the point that people want to know who is she. And I bet, some disagree that she hides behind a pen name. Why hide, right? Are you ashamed or yourself or something? Ashamed of the way you look? Are you really that monstrously ugly? Yeah, you get that random assumptions from your readers. Only when the curiosity starts to fade, suddenly Doe Zantamata uploaded her picture on her social media accounts. When I was not curious anymore, then she revealed herself. The impact was not dramatic. In fact most of the readers are not even bothered anymore. It's like, "So, finally she puts her picture. Ok then." If only she did it a few years before when everyone was excited to know her, maybe she made an explosion by uploading her picture. Doe is one good looking lady. Now it made you wonder a bit why would she hide herself to begin with? Isn't that good look a waste when you hide it behind a pen name? Yeah, that's probably in the thoughts of most of her readers. My guess is that, Doe finally feels at ease to share her picture when people are less curious. Yeah, maybe. I understand the pressure.

My point is, people with pen names like us, we are easily the target of your overrated curiosity. I HATE THAT kind of CURIOSTY. This is me after 11 years using this 3-digit pen name. Cos I've come across people that would do anything to dig me up. Like wasting a few stupid years just to totally uncover my real identity. I'm not hiding but the pressure you guys give on me made me realize it's better to stay this way. Cos it's not like you will appreciate me as a real friend. READ THIS PROPERLY. People who are superexcited to dig about me are the people who don't see me as a person. You guys see me as a Pandora Box that you want to open and to see what's the inside. I am just an Object of your curiousity. I'm just an Object of your thrill-seeking adventure. You forgot that I'm just a normal person, who has feelings, who expects to be treated properly as a woman, and a friend. 

I AM NOT A PANDORA BOX.

Cos if you treat me like a Pandora Box, your adventure will end by the time you open the box. By the time you have no more mysteries to uncover. When all the contents of the box are out, the box has no value anymore. I myself wasn't aware of this until I came across a few encounters. Encounters that have no real values that only see me as a "mystery" - and...not a human. That's why a few times I changed my mind about just getting rid of this pen name and write just as my real self. But I will not have many things to write if I use my real identity because I usually write about people that I know and know me. It's like sharing people's secret to public because definitely people know who I'm writing about. Plus, I'm writing about my personal opinion on it, just like I do to my own life scenarios - and this pen name gives me the freedom to do it without really exposing anybody's identity. So this is NOT about giving you the thrill to Unbox me. I'm still with my little peaceful life and I am as human and as real as can be. I don't deserve to be treated like a Pandora Box, cos I AM NOT that. If I have to keep people being curious, I will rather let it be. I will release that burden off my shoulder now.

Maybe if we meet outside, and we decided to be friends, I will let you know too late that I'm 256 and great that you have been reading my blog. Maybe that way I know that I get the most sincere treatment from you. That's justice for myself. With this pen name, I can never give you the proper friendship too. Maybe we should really leave it to destiny if we were to meet by chance. Thank you, guys.