I've been in the young girl's shoes who did a lot of stupid stuff, just from being naive. I saw how people took advantage of me, and thought that they could fool me just because I tried to be nice, and the next time I know, that kindness was a joke to them. Maybe they gave me back some good words that made me feel good about myself, but I don't find that amusing anymore. It's okay with just real friends who talk the real stuff.
But life unveil its skin day to day, so do people. I have to take care a lot of things in my life. Problems that I deal with, I have to deal with them alone, cos unlike some people, I do not share my troubles that easily. Whether my ego is just damn high or I just don't want to spoil people's day by hearing my problem, and drag them in. When people come to me to speak about their problems, they have no ideas that mine could be worse than theirs. But I am always at the chair, who owns the Listening Booth, and nobody freaking cares if that booth has its own problem too. And I could go on this way as much as I can still spare a bit of time and attention to. But I guess I finally saw my end line, that it is the most that I can go. When I am clearer with my priorities, I finally realize I have less time for dramas. Just because I was more generous with my time before, people think they have the rights to it. They can just claim it anytime, and when I don't comply, I am the bad girl.
This is no more the days when I go use 3 phones, replying messages to 3 different people, talking totally nonsense, or talk till morning comes, without any benefit. I could sit there in front of the chatroom, seeing people chat, despite my works need to be attended. I have done superstupid things with my times so far. I'd still do it for my close friends, which only require me once or twice in months time. I'd do it for my beloved family, I'd take the day off just to be with my little nephews. These people don't tie me to any judgment or evaluation, I can feel free to slip and trip in front of them, they will accept me. If you are outside this territory, that I only have to speak nice things to impress you, or look good all the times to make you smile to me, I'm done with all that.
I only need a sincere and effortless relationships in my life. I no more want to impress anyone. I am not looking for flattering. If you feel anything good about me, just treat me nice, and save your sugarcoated words. And I am always true with one thing. You can be mad if you don't know your wife's full name, or ic number, or where she lives, or spend time with you anytime you want. Only she has the obligation to do all that to you. You can't expect this from the ladies out there who are not your wife. Take care of the people who matters the most to you. They need your attention, and people like me don't deserve it.
Note: You have no idea how much people lost just because they did this mistake.
Peace :)
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