My Faith And 2013

For a moment, I thought we are already in 2014. Oh man! It's only 2013!! Maybe there's a reason why I typed 2014 instead of 2013 - one is because 2013, as far as April, has been so freaking challenging for me. So so freaking challenging I'm telling you. Logic enough to make me want to skip it right away! OMG I better be kidding. 

Remember that this is the Year of Faith for the Catholic Church. I start to particularly live a life of faith, instead of a life of fear. In every situation, I will evaluate my way. Is this faith? Or fear? So from there I will correct my ways accordingly. And my oh my, I don't know that it's getting tougher. One obstacle after another, which look much harder than I had before. Why, is life throwing me bigger stones now that I want to walk my life in faith? Why life has to do this? Suddenly I become that naive girl again who asks the most innocent question. Too many obstacles that sometimes I wonder if I can withstand the burden. From January to this day, my remark remains the same about 2013. Are you kidding me? Seriously, are you?

Someone told me that things gonna get harder the more faith I have. It could be the work of the unhappy devil who wants me to turn my way against my faith and start offending God again. Even if yes, WHY? I thought that things should be lighter now that I have my faith to help me "carry" this weight. It's from my Faith that I can receive tremendous assistance from God especially during my tough times. Then why things are getting harder? 

How do I fare so far? Does my faith make me emotionally stronger? I still cry so hard when something hurts me. Does that mean I am still fragile? Can't my faith help to strengthen me from inside so I don't cry easily? Looks like it doesn't make me invincible. Even sometimes I do still feel defeated by my situations. In fact, for a number for times this year alone. I didn't remember getting hit by numbness and overpower pain that made me just freeze there, lost and clueless. It happened to me recently! Not terrible enough?

Then I turn to my faith again, and ask this question to it, "What do I get for insisting to live life by you? Do you come with a package of great tribulations that gonna test my survival ability?" Then for one moment, I look at the mirror and ask myself, "To be asking all this, are you sure you even HAVE THAT FAITH? Why are you questioning like you have nothing but doubts?"

Last but not least, I must be fair to my Faith. One thing I can see is that, whenever I fall, I will wake up faster and start walking again. And even when I spend a little longer lying on the ground after I fall, I still be seeing hopes and lights for a better next thing. And how I believe in things are POSSIBLE - like never before that I can't close my eyes to God's power. Which I can't explain to people if they ask me why I believe in something I can't see, I can just tell them because I BELIEVE. This faith gives me "that extra eye" to see beyond the sight. So even how troublesome the journey is for me so far, somehow I know God has already planned a wonderful worthy journey for me at the end of this episode.

What I need to do now is to CONTINUE TO GROW IN FAITH and watch His plan unfolds. Nothing in impossible in Jesus name. Amen.