Scenario : You fell in love with this person, and shared love journey and found out that you wanted to commit with this person. You promise to give your lifelong commitment. Your parents have met and acknowledge the relationship between you two. A wedding is expected to happen after a year or so.
You go back to your place where you work, at a place far away from family and the lover. As you go by with your everyday life, you grow quite close to new friend who you find very attractive. The person is like the answer to everything that you want. You know you are taken, but you think it doesn’t harm to just be friendly and you thought it won’t hurt your relationship with your lover. Call this Forces of Nature, cos you never intend to cheat. You even told the person that you have a lover. You both believe you two gonna be just friends.
Day to day, you have stopped thinking about your lover. You are filled with the new person. When the new person reminded you about your lover, you get annoyed and disturbed. You want both of you to forget about the existence of the first lover. The next thing is you confess feelings for the person and the person sort of accepting it. You feel so good inside because it’s a boost to yourself to finally get the person as your lover. You are so madly in love. The new person gives you all the right reaction. The first lover out of the picture.
One day, it explodes when the first lover comes to your place from afar and claim your words. The person bursts in anger to know that you have another lover. The lover stays there to guard and watch your move because the lover decides that there’s no way you can go with second lover so peacefully. In desperation, you silently still meet your second lover. The second lover is so shocked to hear about the first lover. The 2nd lover thought you are no longer with the 1st lover because of your reluctance. The 2nd lover feels cheated but you beg the 2nd lover to stay and be patient as you will handle this matter. You are determined to break up with the first one and go with the 2nd.
So, this is why most of you pick no.2. right? A typical answer :)
The scenario above happened to a person I know. The person has picked No.1 lover. You might pick the same if given the situations that:
1. Your first lover is the type who fight for his/her rights. All the family matters will be brought to your attention so you know you are in deep sheit. You can’t just back up thinking that many people are affected.
But after knowing this, you might still persist to go through all that, because you don’t want to lose the 2nd lover. The first lover puts your life in misery that you hardly have space for the second lover since the interference. You keep telling your second lover to be patient for this because you need to settle things first and you don’t dare to push away the 1st lover without proper procedure because of the involvement of family. You need the 2nd lover to understand and wait for you.
Yeah…You will still stick with your decision to pursue you love…UNTIL…
You wake up one morning finding out that the 2nd lover has simultaneously closed all connections with you without even a goodbye. The 2nd lover picks the time to just walk away from you and let you just proceed with your old lover. The 2nd lover has determined to make the decision easier for you.
Now, you don’t have much choice but go with the 1st lover.
I have some advice to ANYONE who becomes the 2nd lover in a story similar to this. If you become the person who is torn between 2 lovers, IT’S TOUGH TO MAKE DECISIONS. That’s why I call upon all who become the 2nd lover.
1. Imagine yourself in the 1st lover place, I hope the pain won’t kill you. It must be darn painful.
2. Imagine the life after marriage. You won’t be accepted so easily into the family after what you did and the 1st lover may do anything to see you down. Can you live in peace?
3. Out of humanity who has a heart. Even if you say you don’t believe in karma, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
So back out. You as the 2nd lover is the best person to save this situation.
Some things are decided by GOD. You can only do so much but the rest is not up to you. So do your part by not destroying as much as u don’t want to be destroyed. You made some damage but you can still fix things. A little sacrifice and tears, you will receive what you best deserve. So the best to be is DO NOT GET IN THIS MESS. Pull back if you think you are getting into one. You can pursue happiness without making some people cry. If so, no one gonna make you cry that way too. :)
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