The Half-Hearted You

Suddenly I'm wondering, every good words I say, every smile I give, every little kindness that I do, do I do it with all my heart @ wholeheartedly? Cos I notice that, sometimes the words that I say, only half of me actually involves in it. Half of me claim no responsibility, no attachment at all. Ah, doesn't feel so good for someone who believes that someone must be sincere in what they do before they can give and get back the best. But, why this question now?

Lets put it this way. As much as we want to do things wholeheartedly, we do things subconsciously. We can control our intention, we can control our level of politeness, but there are things we can't control. Sometimes out of compassion, we act in a certain way spontaneously to respond to the individual or situation - because we feel that it's the most we can do at the moment. And the next thing you know, you don't really mean every word you say, but it doesn't hurt to say them as long as you don't hurt people; in fact if you can make people feel good, you think it doesn't matter if you really mean it or not. Words from our mouth - they just flow and pour. Come to think about it, does it matter if you mean it? In some situations, it doesn't. People don't have to know what you are really thinking. What they care if how much good things you would share from it, and that's enough. 

Speaking of being totally involved in words and actions; wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, suddenly I wonder if people will be happy if we just mind to do things only when we do it wholeheartedly. Like people say, if you wait for the right time to do something good, maybe the time will never come. Do it now, do it today. I just put it this way. I am no way as friendly and polite like people wish me to be, which I know I am better becoming the person they expect of me. But how capable I am to do that? I can't just wish for it and already I become one, no. But with all the noble intention I have in the world, with limited capability, at least I make the first step, of trying to do the right thing. Yeah, maybe I may only do it halfheartedly today, but one day I might really really do mean it. 

I'm sure you have the same issue yourself. It's alright. We'll get there someday, I'm sure :))