Lelaki-Lelaki Perfectionist

These perfectionist guys are among us. It’s not hard to tell whether or not the guy you are talking with, belongs to that category. I have found quite a generous number of them. In fact, they are not hard to find! You find them among the friends you associate daily in real word or even in the internet. You can just tell these guys are SoooO freaking perfectionist! Hahaha. OuchH!

The first and crucial sign that you come across one of them is HOW THEY COMMENT on women. Normal men won’t go into DETAILS when they make their comments on certain women, but THESE perfectionist guys do look through a special kind of lenses that make them see more! When you meet a guy who I categorize as normal, when you ask them about a certain gal, they would only come up with “Oh she’s cute and nice.” “She looks so sweet” “Her smile is cute” etc, something like that. On the other hand, the perfectionist guys go into much details that even the girls don’t realize that they were inspected to that length. They would detect the smallest defect on the girl’s appearance. They would comment on the hair being messy but out of courtesy he would say, “You look so much better if you go rebonding” or, if compared on the “boobs appearance” with the comments like, You two looks good but she has a little bigger breast, and when they talk about preferences on girls, they would comment about how much they dislike bad breath and bad odour in woman and they would never be a second date if they come across women like that. Wow. You guys see that?

These guys have a long list of criteria that they don’t write down but they evaluate the ladies using that criteria without them knowing! They only go out seriously with a reasonably good-looking ladies, who have perfectly put dimple, whose eyes are equally in size and guitar-shaped body, who they would not feel shamed to be caught walking together with. Ok, I’m sounding a bit too much, do you say? This is what they have been doing all along. Mind you, these guys don’t even know they belong to that category until the crucial time that they realize it’s tough to find for a match cos most of the good looking ladies are not available, and the search could take forever. Yes, they do mingle with the rest of the ladies below the criteria but they would put “Just Friends and Nothing More” when any of their friends try to matchmake them with these average ladies. Yes, they can be a good friend, they can be a good colleague or a good team player in futsal game but when it comes to a lifemate, it’s a long windy journey. It’s always about spotting “a brainy girl who is beautiful, sexy and outgoing” – Oh yeah, then “I’m gonna ask her out.”

What to do if you belong to this category? No, of course you shouldn’t weep. This isn’t something that you choose to be. It’s just how you develop your taste on women. The bad news is… these Perfectionist guys easily get unhappy because of their expectations. They always see the shortcomings in the women they meet and at the same time, keep hunting for that qualities; but as we all know…Nothing is perfect. They get frustrated a little too often because you know it’s damn tough to find something even near perfection. Luckily, many things are considered Subjective so there is still a change that some lady hit their target point. Speaking of a relationship, these perfectionist guys have so many conditions to obey. They want so many things from their gf. In case things turn sour, they would walk out from one relationship to another, for the silliest reason. Ok, don’t throw that stares at me. Hahaha. At least one or more things are true with what I just listed down. Don’t you think so? Hahaha

So as the time goes, these guys might feel a little too pressured with themselves cos they never find someone good enough to be the one they want to be with. With aging and maturity, they would then understand and realize that they should bring their standard down and tolerate more in order to find that someone who is good enough. The rest of it, you go and ask them if they are among the lucky ones who manage to get the one who perfectly fit to be called the Mrs of Mr. Perfectionist.

To the ladies who become the target of these perfectionist guys, it’s an ego-booster. But the question is, can their perfectionism help them to be good enough for you? Haha. In my experience, these kind of guys make the girls feel uptight and want to always present they best they can. In other words, to hook up with a perfectionist guy is very stressful. Ouch.

Well, this is not what the guys want. They just have it by nature. What I can say is, Perfectionism is just one of your characters. It’s tough to be a perfectionist in such an imperfect world, but I have a dare to all of these perfectionist guys. If you dare WANT a “She’s all that” kind of lady, question now is, Are you that “He’s all that” for her? That’s a Wow question. Ask yourself. Don’t just use that perfectionismon others, but on you too. Fair enough :)

NOTE: OMG, I did not mention about Perfectionist Ladies, did I? Hey hey…we are even :) (Pheww…luckily I don’t belong to that category…hehehe…*ahem!!)

The RING…

A regular customer was sitting in front of me, looking at me doing some stuff with the computer. She spotted something on my finger. “Wow, is that an engagement ring?” She saw the ring on my finger. I just laughed. “Why did you say that?” She said, “You just got that, right? When? Last nite? I didn’t see you wear that before”. I laughed again. My normal reaction when “there’s too much to explain.” Hehehe.

“Oh, this is not a new ring. I’ve been wearing it for quite a while. Actually I thought this ring was lost about 2 weeks ago. I did not try to find it. I really thought I lost it already. And last nite…damn, I found it again. Then I was like, Oh okay, then why not wear it.”

She was getting more excited. “It’s a very nice ring! Look at the glow. Wow…it’s shining.” I moved my finger and examined the ring once again if it’s really beautiful, and said, “Oh okay”…and continued with the work. She kept saying about the glowing she saw coming from the ring. Well…maybe it’s a nice ring after all. Of course…It’s a D ring…

“So tell me, is that an engagement ring? When is the date gonna be?” I just laughed. “Errrr…errrr… actually…” I really hate to explain. Then she came out with, “You mean given by someone who you rejected?” Then I went… “Err….Unfortunately YeeSs.” She went, “Wow…” Then out of nowhere, I decided to make a joke out of it. “Look, even this necklace I’m wearing is a gift. Isn’t it funny? All the accessories I’m wearing now are gifts.” (Now I sound like I could not afford them myself, Which is true) Hahahahahaha.

One funny thing about The Ring is…when I thought I lost it for 2 weeks ago, WHY I FELT RELIEVED? I never tried to locate it. I have this habit of misplacing things so I thought the ring was one of them. When I found it in my handbag 2 days ago…I was like…Ermm…Ok…

I have a message to all the guys. When a girl wears your ring, it doesn’t mean that she says, Yes, I Do.

:) 

NOTE: Actually, “Yes, I do” doesn’t need a ring:)

Awake In Dream

Last nite I dreamt this man came asking for "donation", he started putting amount on that we should give him, at least RM600 each. I got furious and I shouted at him, "Hey, what are you doing here in our house and asking money like that? DO YOU KNOW THAT I CAN CALL THE POLICE?" The man got panicked and took out a knife....

He was threatening to use the knife with a scared face. My bro was beside me…and I was like, “Oh My, A Murder Gonna Happen In My Dream?” Luckily he got scared and threw the knife away and said, "Sorry, I didn’t mean to do this", and he ran leaving our gate. I remember saying, "It's okay, we understand. Don't do this to people again next time." I was so relieved that I didn’t have to wake up feeling bad having another bad dream.

Do you noticed this line “Oh My, A Murder Gonna Happen In My Dream?” Yes, I KNOW that I was having a dream. My mind was working as if I was awake as I was having the dream. I went with the dream anyway and see what was next. I was still unsure if the man gonna use the knife or not, and if he was going to use it, it was beyond my control but as far as my own act is concerned, I seriously think I CAN CONTROL my response in dream cos my brain is totally awake, and best of all, I KNEW it was a dream before I even got up from sleep.

What's that 256? A total desperation to be IN CONTROL. I can't even stop it even in dreams. Let's try and make me a superwoman next dream, see how I save people without the limitation of my reality. *giggles. Interesting :)

Something To Ponder Upon

Are You Surrounded By Stingy People?

Do you find yourself complaining that the people around you are always the stingy ones? It’s always her, him or them who are very calculative, seldom give you a brunch treat or even hand you some souvenir when they come back from a vacation? Have you recalled relaying this matter to your family members, giving a comment about a certain stingy individual, and if could have liked him/her better with a little balance of generousity? Examine yourself if this article is best written for you.

Honestly speaking, I AM NOT surrounded by stingy people. I don’t know why some people are so unlucky to be in that situation that wherever they go, they always complain about the same thing. IT’S THE PEOPLE who are this and that. I’ve been the person who listen to the babbling. I mean, Seriously? What kind of curse that engulf you to receive such fate? Hahahaha. Kidding.

Look…it’s very simple. When you go to a new environment, often find yourself “out of place”, like why everyone here is bad, or unfriendly, or anything you can think of. It’s like there’s always something wrong with the people around you. Oh come on. Are you sure you are not Miss-No-Defect? Hahaha. OMG, don’t you get how sarcastic I’m sounding with this topic?

Look at yourself. If you are someone who ALWAYS EXPECTS something from people, this could result. If you expect anyone be at your service whenever you want them, NO WONDER you always end up in the wrong surrounding or environment. In other words, NOTHING ever gonna fit you. You’re unfit to be with any kind of society where many kinds of people are living together. In other words, you will never be happy with where you belong because YOU EXPECT TOO MUCH from people. This answers the question WHY I am not surrounded by stingy or even boasty people…you want to know why? Because I never think of them that way although they don’t pay for my food everytime we eat together, or I never really think different of people when they “tell a fact” about them, if they announce that they have a Merc parking outside the building –NO. If you see the trick, it’s not about people, it’s about YOU and your expectation. You will always have complains and dissatisfactions towards the people around you if your expectation is high.

So the answer to the question in the topic is, of course everyone will look stingy to you when you always hope and think that some of their money should go to you and it’s people’s responsibility to always at your service. If you want to have a more peaceful life, NEVER hope for what belongs to others and always have yourself to serve your own needs instead of always hoping something from others cos I believe that YOU don’t do that to people too. Your money is yours and if you only treat people when you feel like to. This is WHY I am never surrounded by stingy people because I never expect anything from them.

Same goes with other things. When you find yourself complaining that it’s ALWAYS people who are not with the right attitude, hey hey…maybe IT’S YOU who are with the problem. You could meet a few wrong people at one time, but not ALL the time. So the remedy is simple. MEND YOUR EXPECTATION. Or realistically speaking, you can’t change your surrounding so YOU CHANGE!

Viola! Sooner you will have your view cleared. It’s a beautiful sight when you keep your expectation low. No more Cruel Life. No More People who keep wronging you. Don’t believe me. But try and you’ll see. Life is how you see things. Simple :)

A Little Valentine Thought

After all the hoo-ha revolving Valentine’s day and its invalidity, I see that people are still going around looking for something to buy for their someone special, thinking of how to spend the day making their their loved one feeling special. This day automatically get themselves in the lovey dovey mood. I think they get the point. This isn’t about St. Valentine’s and whatever history how the day gets its name. No. It’s just a name to call the day. The idea is LOVE. Showing your Love. So you can go around banning and making it illegal for people to celebrate the day, gosh, this isn’t a festival at all. It’s just the day people spend extra warm thought for the person (people) they love, with their own will. Well, to those who don’t feel like doing anything, fine, it’s okay. It’s not for show. It’s about connection between people that are bridged by this God-given strong feeling. You don’t know where it comes from but you just feel it. Amazing, right?

Personally speaking, I am not really a fan of this day. To me it could just be another day. Based on my past experiences, I dislike the pressure to show your love at a higher intensity compared to the ordinary days. It’s like the inability of you to show it extra well would cause your partner to think that you don’t love enough. The fact is that, Love is not for show. I say it again. I don’t believe that you should show others how much you love and get their approval before you can believe that you do love for real. Oh come on. That is nonsense. You can win people’s impression that your love is the strongest and the most intense in the world but if it lasts only for a while, What For? After everything that I learn from life, I seriously don’t believe in Showing Off, if it’s all the best you can offer. To me, I prefer a humble way of experiencing love between two people, that lasts. This is the real manifestation of Love. The love that stays there for a very long time. Doesn’t fade with beauty or age. THAT’S THE LOVE that we all talk about and only a few have found.

I hate how wrongly some people interpret this. When the feeling is so strong at one moment, you thought you own the world. You wanna scream to tell them that you are in love. People will feel in awe to see such expression. Your loved one would feel like she’s at the cloud 9. It’s a sweet thing. But if it doesn’t last, What For? That feeling of temporary excitement must be a plain infatuation. It’s not even the real thing yet. You still go judging every minute if you still can feel the same way towards your partner. You still hear sweet words from other suitors who are trying to get your attention and suddenly you change your mind in the next minute. Suddenly everything turns to dust. You declaration of love to your lover becomes irrelevant. This is how some of you do it. So if Valentine’s Day is filled with people like this, I’m not surprised that Love will continuously get a wrong definition. That’s why I’m not a fan of this day. I believe that showing love must be ongoing, and you don’t need a certain day to show it more than the other, because to have a day like that, the expectation gets out of norm, and sometimes not realistic too. As it’s all about a good show. If you can spend so much and do something extraordinary, then you win. NO.

I’m tired of the show. I’m tired of having guys saying words of love to me and even buy me expensive gifts just to mislead me into thinking that you guys are for real. I’M NOT IMPRESSED. I don’t want a show. I had enough. If you want to be real, DO IT. Prove that you gonna be there regardless what happens, even how tough and how hard. Prove it that you gonna stand by your partner’s side the time when she needs you the most. How is this going to happen if you are not even faithful. Don’t talk about love if you can’t even be loyal. I rather see people who don’t celebrate but show the most original form of affections in many little ways that don’t even get recognitions from others. What matters is they stick together and inseparable. I saw some people like this. I am so amazed of you guys. If you have found this kind of love, Go ahead celebrate this day renewing you love vow that you gonna be this way for all the Valentine’s to come. Please keep the love strong because people like you will correct this misinterpretation of love. 

Stay In Love…It’s the most miraculous gift to the human beings.

20 sen and Still Professional

Some of you don’t understand the meaning of professionalism. What do it means to be professional in your work? This is a little true story. Back in the days when money was even tougher to earn, things were cheaper. Back then, the cost of service could be in just sen (which means less than RM1). There was this man, who had problem with his bicycle and he had a friend who offered service to repair bicycle. So the first man sent the bicycle to his friend’s place and he fixed it. The service cost him 20 sen. So thinking that it was just 20 sen, the first man thought his friend could consider it for free. He was wrong. His friend said to him, “Okay, it’s 20 sen altogether. I know it’s just 20 sen but you still have to pay since you are getting a service for your bicycle here.” With hesitation and felt a little upset because his own good friend still asked for such an amount, he paid it anyway. Just when his friend received the coin, he said, “Come lets go to the coffee shop. I’ll treat you.” So they sat they and ordered food and drinks and chatted away. It cost the friend about RM 1.50. So he paid up. The first guy still didn’t get it. When they were leaving the stall, the friend told him. “Sorry buddy if you felt a little awkward about me asking you to pay 20 sen for the service. I don’t mean to be calculative towards a good friend like you. But this is how I see it. When you come to my place to ask for service, it’s between a customer and a businessman. I offer you service at certain cost and you must pay after you get the service. It’s the nature of doing business. When it comes to our friendship, it’s a different thing. I can buy you drinks and foods, whatever I feel like spending to treat you something. It’s not because I am stingy and calculative, but this is about being Professional in my work. I don’t mix business with pleasure. Business is business. So the first guy laughed and finally understood why the friend did that. Especially when he only paid 20 sen and the friend treated him food and drink cost more than 20 sen. He then understood the meaning of being professional.

How about you?

It took some time for me to be this way. But when I finally understood, this is what I do. I NEVER ASK for discount from my friends. If they give me a discount, I will see if it’s reasonable or not. If not, I will STILL pay more than the price offered because I UNDERSTAND that this is not the time to expect my friends to be generous or thoughtful. Business is they source of income. They have to pay for rental, workers and other things. If you are not professional, you could end up closing your business anytime soon. Business people who are not professional, thinking that they want to win the heart of their friends and relatives, guess what, Business is not your field. You need to work with the Welfare or Charity organizations since that you will FAIL indefinitely as a businessman. Only those with professionalism are realistic about business and only they can survive longer.

This has been my way. It’s painful to deal with people who don’t understand professionalism. Just like when I owed my friend RM2 because I had no change that time and she was rushing, I still paid her and she never told me, “Nevermind about the RM2” and we did went out a few times and she paid for our lunch that cost more than RM25 per person. This is what being professional is all about. And if you claim to understand, make sure you do what’s necessary to make it easier for your friends to be professional in their work too. Don’t expect them to be generous, and if you think you can’t get something for free if you go to other shops, DON’T expect it free from your friends too. Bear that in mind.

Ehmm...so have you figured out if you have been professional or not? It's better late than never, guys! Hahaha

Your Pain Is My Strength

There are many things that hurt our feelings. Frustration, failure, disappointment, you name it. Things that once made us cry and always leave wounds in our heart. The only way is when we try not to give too much thought to it, then only we can lessen the pain. Or maybe there’s more to it.

Like any other female, sometimes I get carried away with emotions too. Especially when something that once hurt me, come back in a jolt of flashbacked memory that I don’t invite. There’s always something that can trigger back the old feeling, and guess what? Sometimes you trigger the wrong kind of emotions, recalling back moments you don’t want to remember. Suddenly there’s this pain coming from within. It’s tough. Oh darn it’s tough.

People might see that I’m a person who is always cool and laugh a lot. I give people a lot of fruitful advice when they come to me. I feel silly that sometimes I do need the same counseling that I give people. I mean, to whom can I go to? In my situation, sometimes I hate the state of being fragile. I hate to admit that I’m as weak as some of these female who told me they have lost direction trying to deal with their heartache. So you think I should tell them that “We are just the same” instead of pretending to be strong? I mean, of course I don’t pretend. I just have the way to see strength and to use them, especially when people need that strength from me. I mean, I recall many times when they got their thinking bulb working after they talked to me. That means I did help them to activate their mind, working towards their own dilemma. Don’t they know that I have my fragile moments too? I do. I surely do. It’s when I feel like I could cry. That sharp pain, I feel it. It’s when all the negativity starts to take place, oh man, I feel like the world comes crushing down. Suddenly the things that hurt me start to engulf me, so tightly that I barely breathe. Oh man. I do need help.

Do you guys know what comes to rescue me? When I open my eyes and look at the other female I know. Their Pains. I learnt about their pains. Their pains are much more unbearable than mine. Their problems with their men were like many percent worse than me. If I said I got cheated, these women must got beaten to death. I mean, that’s the comparison. If I said I found a useless man, guess what, they found Lucifer, the chief of devil. *Lols. Ok, kidding. My point is that, these women had pain much worse than mine. Their experiences are sometimes ridiculous enough even trying to put yourself in their shoes. But look at them. Some of them are walking tall like nothing happened. Maybe they pretended to be strong, but STILL, they must have that guts to even pretend. It’s so painful. They don’t just get emotional abuse, but also physical abuse. And what about their self value and dignity. This is more than pain. This is a violation of right to be treated right. They have put so much in line, in the most unsophisticated way, and still survive in smile. They can face another day, even how tough, and still, they have successfully make people forget that they once had that ordeal that took tough survival with tears and even maybe blood too. When I look at them…suddenly I feel…SO LUCKY. My problems are so tiny compared to them. What am I doing here trying to beat myself up like life has been so cruel to me. NO! I disagree.

These women show me HOW LUCKY I AM. And looking at their strength, I feel so ashamed of myself that I even complain. I shouldn’t. I should appreciate that I’m given a pain, together with a wisdom to deal with it and I’m wise enough to learn from others. My pain is just a tiny dust compared to theirs.

That makes my heart light. It’s so funny, why I can change the way I feel about something, when the pain remains the same since it belongs to the past. This taught me even more that maybe, I am totally responsible in why I am still getting hurt. It’s not the pain. It’s me. It has left me, and I’m given so many new blessings to count, and still I am here grieving. Oh come on 256. You are better than this.

To all the strong women out there, THANKS FOR BEING STRONG. You have no idea how many people you inspired just by being that way, and I’m just one of them. And with this, I hope to spread this around, so to the rest who are weaker than I am, will get inspired by me too. Lets do this. We will fight for happiness till the very end. :)

Why Boring Is Not A Common Word To Me

 No Thanks. Hehe

I always hear people mumble about A Boring Day…they often complain about feeling bored and stuff. I don’t realize that I am actually “disturbed” everytime I hear people use that word Boring or anything generated from the word Bored. Even my sister often uses this word. It’s always about “I feel bored” that she does something out of normal like driving without direction just to kill the time. I was like, “How come you people are often feeling bored?” The better question is, “Why I’m not like that?”

To me Boring is such a Lame word. It discourages me and a mockery to my precious time. If you ask me, yeah I know how it feels when I get totally lazy and I have so much things to do but still end up sitting there, doing nothing and just stare at the wall, and everything I do just don’t work. Maybe that’s what most people do when they say that they feel bored. You see, I’m as normal as other people but I don’t use the word Boring to describe my situation because I feel kinda “underutilized” or in the more harsh form is, I feel “useless” when I use that word. I mean, everyone feels that way sometimes. But when you give in to that feeling, I don’t know why I feel that it’s kinda pathetic.

Looking at all the works that are not done, and all the mess that still unfix, and many other stuff that you keep people waiting, Imagine how many works that need your time and attention, and what you do is go around telling people that You feel bored and then you do something that doesn’t contribute to your life progression. Instead, you do something new only consume your time and still go back to your piling work. The delayed works still need to be done and it gives you more pressure because now you have less time to finish them. Boredom only takes more time from you. It happens sometimes, just don’t give yourself that easy approval to entertain it. The more prone you are to saying, “Oh I’m bored”, it’s how often you are going to say it and the more often you feel like saying it, it’s like you are giving all the ample space for your surrounding and circumstances to consume you, and that means, you are NOT in control of yourself. Maybe all these little philosophies “poison” my mind so that I don’t get too in common with the word Boring or boredom. Even when it’s really “killing” me sometimes (too), I never tell people or announce to people that boredom hits me. I feel so helpless when I do that. I hate that when something like Boredom rule me and I just let it happen.

All in all, I can conclude that maybe “I’m just too bossy” to let boredom, let alone to admit that boredom is consuming me. Now I thank myself for that because whenever I use that word, my colourful world is fading its colours and I don’t want that to happen. I want to always visualize my life is made of striking colours and I have a heck of things to do with it, countless ways to enjoy every angle of my life and wait, Do we really have the time to feel bored? So now you understand that if you get in touch with appreciation of the rest of the undiscovered elements of your life, actually, you don’t even need the work on the table to remind you that You don’t have that much time to waste. Boredom only gives you the way to see your time slips and gone from the clock before you know. And for that, NO, BOREDOM and me will never clicked. Or so I decide. 

Boredom says to me, “You selfish 256. Like it’s nothing new.”

Why, Thank You. *Lols.

Note: Reevaluate how much you actually need that word Boring to be in your daily most spoken words. *winks

Eh…OMG, when I come to this line, only now I realize that I have posted this topic before. *Lols. Nevermind.

When Your NickName Makes You Mighty

Example of an MIRC window. Note those with @ before their nicks. Those are channel operators.

Nicknames, I’m sure all of you have it. We meet in the online world. People move around in the cyberworld using nicknames for people to recognize them. We don’t really have a choice like this in the real world. Now that we have the freedom to use whatever name we want for people to identify us, isn’t that fun?

As for me, I have used a few nicknames since the early time that I started to use MIRC. In MIRC, nicknames are very powerful. Maybe it’s the same with other chat programme but I focus on MIRC because I’ve been chatting here for years. I witness it how nickname is WHO YOU ARE, regardless who your real identity is in the real world. See how fun and troublesome this can get you.

The other day, one of my best online buddies private-messaged me in MIRC. He asked me to join a channel, which is quite well-known. One thing about me and MIRC, I don’t like joining a lot of channels. I have to turn my friends down when they invited me to their channels. I want to give a quality chat and that can’t happen if I have to entertain too many windows. He kept begging me, “Please join my channel. I need you there”. Well, I then joined the channel and found out that actually he DIDN’T need me there at all. Hahahaa. The channel was filled with active chatters and the public window was moving quite fast from people typing in. I stayed for a while and watched the channel. I could see that most of the chatters there were chanting my friend’s nickname because they wanted to get Operator status for that channel. When you get the access as a channel operator, you can kick (+k) and ban (+b) people and even give people voice (+v) and even change the channel’s topic and other things. It’s giving you the access that normal chatters don’t have. Trust me, MIRC and this power thing is very much in common for many years. From what I hear, the SOP (the higher rank of operator that can add and delete normal operator (AOP)) even “sell” the access or maybe exchange it with something. The exchange is usually in the form of access in the other channel or it can get really kinky that I heard that some chatter even agreed to sleep with the Founder just to get that access. Omigawd. I hope that’s not true. Isn’t that crazy?

Now you know how Influential is A FOUNDER of a channel, especially when the channel is big and famous. The channel is considered big and famous when there are many chatters joining in. When that happens, you can expect to get the royal treatment if you happen to be the Founder. Yes, even in MIRC people have a way to give a royal treatment for the influential nicks. Yes nicks. Remember, YOUR NICK is WHO YOU ARE here.

Back to the story of my friend’s channel. I mean, I have No Idea that he is the Founder of that channel. That time, he was using the nick that is registered as the Founder of the channel, which the other chatters can check out using certain command. He said the pressure was really high when he used that nickname. The chatters kept messaging him asking for the access. I saw it too. I mean, all of a sudden, I could feel How Influential he was in that nick. The other time when I joined just to look around, I still saw people mentioning his nick repeatedly even when he was not around. I mean, when you have people fighting to get access in your channel, you can consider that your MIRC profession is successful. There’s nothing more people want in MIRC than to be that influential. This will not stop at the cyberworld only. When the chatters agree to meet up, trust me the Founder will still get a special seat or get the rest to buy him/her drinks and pay for the foods. Hahaaha. I mean, that could happen. I know it sounds funny but it happens. In some cases, this can even turn into business where the Founder can offer a certain price for anyone who wants to “buy” that channel and when the deal takes place, the channel’s password will be passed to the new owner. In other case, the Founder will find someone else that he can trust and pass the password so that the person can look after that channel. If a channel is treated like “A Gold”, that makes The Founder the Rich Man who owns that gold. Now, do you still wonder why channel Founders can get that influential? Hehehe.

Anyway, if you can get that influential in MIRC, why not, right? I don’t think anybody can be like that. You must know the commands well to manage your channel well and even attract people to go to your channel before it gets famous. Everything starts from zero so consider that it’s an accomplishment to finally have people chanting your name to ask for access. Suddenly all your effort to build the channel is paid off. I think it’s cool and just carry on bring that influence with you as long as you are still around in MIRC. The only thing that make me concerned is that some people Overreact towards this MIRC Power. Some of the operators also abuse their power to make some chatters day miserable. Also, let’s not make this a reason why you lose your face and dignity. It’s just the power that you can have when you join MIRC. Outside MIRC, you don’t have that power. People won’t even care if you are the channel operator of which channel, you’re still who you are and what you are doing in the real life. Look, to those who are too obsessed with your MIRC Power, come on. This is just MIRC, A chat programme. When you /quit, you are back to reality. It’s good that you can be so powerful everytime you log in, but what for when you are a coward in the real world?

The Dare is….

Don’t just be A HERO in MIRC, but also A HERO in the real world. :)

The Ultimate Reason Why People Get Married

Of course you will talk about having kids legally, or to legalize sexual intercourse, or to complete normal cycle of a human being when they reach adulthood, you want to live with the one you love, you want to have someone to grow old with and build family together, you want to have someone take care of you and so on. I really don’t want to go deep into something that most of you know better than me but to me, there’s n ultimate reason why people get married.

What should be the main reason people get married is...

 TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN BEING SINGLE

A lot of marriages out there get to complete the little reasons which some I have mentioned above, but they miss the ultimate reason why they get married. Instead of having a better life, they have a worse life. Instead of peace, their lives become a nightmare when the marriage constantly gives headache and problems. Instead of laughter, it’s tears all the way.

The people who have experienced a wrecked marriage might agree with this. We see a lot of divorce cases and separations and even the aftermath feud about who’s gonna take care of the kids and other stuff. Taking example from this lady friend who was divorced by her husband of almost 11 years, and they have no kids, it’s like she would wish that the 11 years were never happened. She thought that it was better off that she was single from the beginning than to end up that way. She thought that she has wasted her life just to be back to “single”, with 11 years missing from the life diary.

This could also be the reason, why many married ladies, advice this to those who are not married.

“BETTER DON’T GET MARRIED, OR YOU’LL END UP LIKE ME.”

They refer to their troubled marriage life, with irresponsible husband who only know how to make babies but the wife is the one who takes care of the kids while the dad is busy looking for someone else to make his mistress or just part time girlfriend or even a secret wife. They saw it that their man was never enough and didn’t honour the marriage vow as much as they did. The hurtful wives conclude they wish they never got married in the first place, rather than to end up in a miserable life.

THEY HAVE A POINT.

If you know the outcome of your marriage life, do you still want to get married when you are better off being single?

Look at your single life. You have the freedom. You have all the money to spend. You can go out and date with anything without feeling guilty or thinking that you are wronging someone and you can simply do what you want without asking for permission from your partner, no jealousy game and no heartache. Life would still be giving you your share of tears and laughter as you go by with the days, you will still have occasional sadness and misery from your troubles, but if marriage is that biggest contributor of your problem, imagine how much heartache you save yourself from. Most importantly for the ladies, you don’t have to endure the excruciating pain when you man cheats on you for another woman. You don’t have to feel like your heart is torn apart and bleeding profusely when your man starts to treat and see you as a bunch of rubbish that has no value. That happens a lot in the relationship stage. But marriage is different. You give and devote your life to the man who you thought gonna love you forever. To deal with broken relationship is painful enough, some even commit suicide. Now we are talking about broken marriage. Imagine that.

I really don’t blame the ladies why they discourage the single ladies to get married because Yes, they have experienced the wondrous joys of the wedding celebration, they have felt the reward of finally being together with the one they love and finally feel that the person is solely belongs to them – such a indescribable blessing to feel that way. They have fought for their love and get united with their match from heaven in a ceremony witnessed by friends and family, before God. But after everything, I’m sure that’s why the pain feels much more painful because they have felt such happiness and they thought they don’t deserve such sorrow. How come the paradise that they build together for years crushed and wrecked like all the years never happen.

The single ladies haven’t felt all that yet. They are still having some unclear visions of how it’s going to be like. Is it gonna be heaven or otherwise? I’m curious too. With all the happenings with the marriage institutions in today’s world, I become even terrified of the outcome. Marriage is a gambling. Yes. No one knows how it’s going to turn out like, you have to go through that process and find out yourself. But in my position now, you get the logic that I totally aware of the ultimate reason WHY people should get married. To all the single people out there, ask that question, if what you have next is showing some potential that you gonna reach your marriage goal, yeah, maybe it’s worth to take the risk. What about those who could not yet see HOW marriage that they opt to get would make them reach the goal? Don’t ask a lot of question if you can’t even answer this one.

“IS THAT MARRIAGE GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER?”

If he’s jobless, lazy, has wandering eyes, keeps too much secrets, bad-tempered, irresponsible, no religious faith, lack of motivation etc – with the few I have mentioned, be realistic if you think sharing your life with the person with this criteria gonna make your life BETTER. Or maybe you can ask for magic or miracle to turn things around the way you favour after the wedding happens. Oh come on. Get real.

Until you find some security to start the gambling, ask no more questions why the single ladies choose to be single. Trust me they might know better what they are doing. :)

The Reflection of My Imperfections

Everyone wants to do the best they can. They want to be the best they can. They have talents and gifts to shine. You are not excluded. I am not excluded. With the mission of everyday’s life, we take things as what it is. We do things the way we do. We handle things the best way we know how.

I, as the person standing here today, I’m related to you in a way. Whether we are friends, siblings, cousins, ex-lovers and what not. Maybe you have a better word to describe our encounter. Part of me wants to do everything perfectly. I don’t just want to make myself happy, but also you. It’s just in us that we do want to please people because we appreciate their presence in our lives. With this kind of personality that I have, sometimes I do overdo things. Sometimes I think the unthinkable. Expect the unexpected. I know that I am just a human being with limitations but I also believe in the power that I have in order to achieve something. I am capable of achieving my dreams. That's what I always tell myself.

I know that some people suck at things they do. They fail to perform. They are all talks and no actions. They don’t walk the talk. They even betray people’s trust. Who wants to be like them? Neither you nor me. At one time, we thought we would never be there. What if one morning you realize that you are exactly walking on the track of the failure whose faults we could easily find. And guess what, you’re just one of them. Can you imagine the feeling?

Last night, I was having emotional struggle within me. People start to knock my senses that I am just another underachiever in my little missions. Suddenly I realize that I don’t even succeed as a good friend. I keep letting my friends down. They asked all the little favours and I never did comply. The saddest thing is, I did not know I have been doing the damage little by little, expecting that they would never notice it. This has been a pathetic denial from the beginning. I thought that I could change to better but I never so far did. Was it because of my incapability or maybe I have not tried enough. I don’t know if the answer matters for I have done the damage. I don’t know if I can undo it if I try hard enough. Or maybe, I should concentrate on the journey from this point and look ahead. I don’t even know if I have what it takes. Suddenly I feel like the smallest creature in the world. My abilities are limited.

I feel like I’m taking back all the words I said on people’s inefficiency. I don’t even deserve to give a piece of mind. I start to look at my own. My heart is in full state. Not even a tiny bit is taken but why I feel so heartless. People who are kind to me, what did I do to repay them. People did not ask much, but even in that, I am so deficient in passion to even do them justice. Did I ever have a heart, I wonder.

Looking back a little further backward, do my ex lovers deserve this kind of memento in my head. How sure I was that it wasn’t my fault. I know I have repeatedly admitted my fault, but I wonder if I really did mean it. If I failed my friends, maybe I failed my lovers too. I always looked at what they did and not what I did. They had been so kind and loving to me and maybe I thought I deserved the princess treatment till the very end. It was always me who needed understanding. It was always me who needed tolerance. It was always me who needed more attentions and it was always me who has situations for people to suit themselves in. After everything, I was always the one who give punishment when something bad happened. The blames were always not mine.

When it all started to come back to me, suddenly I saw myself as the Defendant. All accusations are on me. All fingers are pointing at my directions. Suddenly the faces of all the people who I have given my word to and fail to keep, appear. I feel so heavy cos those faces mean something to me. They have brought joy to my heart at least once. They have hopes for me. They have once poured affection and even sacrificed for me. What did I ever do to repay. I’m seriously curious.

Now again, here I am standing here today. Realizing HOW WEAK of a human being I am. I am not the best friend that you can find, now I realize how lucky I am to even have your friendship. I hate to say the word Sorry. It’s nothing compared to what I feel. To all the guys that I thought didn’t deserve a thought from me, I’m taking this change to twist things around and see that I was the one to blame. If I’d ever give enough, you might not do what you did. It wasn’t me alone that has situations for people to obey. People have theirs too. And I am not a princess to always give orders and take no excuses. I am just one heck of an imperfect human being. I have hurt your hearts. I have broken some promises. I have disobeyed you. I could even deserve stoning for my selfishness. I don’t know if I could turn this around to deserve you the same way again.

I take this chance to ask for forgiveness to all the hearts that I have hurt. You have no idea that I KNOW how much you guys have been through but I could have done better if I did something to make it worthwhile. To every warm thoughts and whispers that have my name on it, if I can share a bit of my blessing as a sign of thank you, I hope God would allow that. I almost shed a tear thinking back that some people did put serious hopes on me and I failed them. Especially when they have done their part and waited for me to do mine. I don’t even know if it’s sufficient to just present my imperfection to reason my incompetency. A little voice inside me said I was just giving excuses for not trying. All the years being alive, you people use your heart to show me my errors. From the bottom of my heart, I’m grateful that this moment happens in this lifetime. I could not leave this lifetime not knowing how much I did and did not do as a result of my imperfections.

What is left for you guys to know is I WANT TO CHANGE. I don’t care to be imperfect as long as I can be a good friend, a good lover, a daughter and even a good stranger to you. There is room for improvement and I am willing to buckle up because having another emotional war being a failure is so torturing. I can’t stand another one like this.

I do have one last request.

Please do not expect me to be perfect cos perfection doesn’t exist. Please accept me as a human being who is trying to make things better.

AMEN.

NOTE: No wonder why I feel so glad to be alive. The sight of you guys in my overview of life, makes the wondrous impression that is good to linger even just in the mind and you guys offer me more than that. 

THANKS.