The Intention Is Noble, But Not Noble Enuff Unless...

Looking at these celebrities organizing Majlis Iftar involving anak2 yatim; with a lot of publicity, and some of them doing charity with no part of it missing in the photos shared with public, I guess the haters will have a topic to say about this. But don't you agree that no matter how not-so-sincere they make it look, still the needy got the help for real. So some people realize that it doesn't really matter, cos that help will mean a lott the less fortunate. 

Note: It reminds me back then during mass, my friend always gave more during Offering. But she was mumbling when she took out the money from her wallet, but she never failed to give more than what the rest gave, (cos she was a rich kid). I thought that it's alright, cos if a good intention stays in the heart without action, it won't make a difference. It's the act of doing it, seeing something is done, that will make a difference. Credit still goes to them, at least they do something, right...:))

A Thought For The Day

I really don't get it why some party took all the time and trouble in the world to confiscate holy books from other religions, and went extra mile to just make sure that the books will not be returned back, thinking that it will someday jeopardize the faith of their believers and confuse them. I mean, garsh, you can do that. Same with the usage of certain word to represent God, which is just a matter of language.

I imagine if that same amount of time and effort used on things that can benefit you and your family, used to fulfill your other responsibilities that the needy will find useful for their welfare, or even, simply just personally improve how you perform your daily religious practice which are easier, simpler and surer way to gain pahala, which I am not very sure if they have enough time for those anymore if they are busy getting their nose in other people's religions, very very unnecessary thing to do.

Do they assume that the youngsters will spend time reading holy books from other religions, when most of them may not even have time to read their text books, let alone getting influenced or confused by it. I realllyyy reallly don't get ittt. Life's short, peeps. That time is so valuable. Stop complicate things, and stop taking delight putting people in trouble. There are better things to do bah. *shake head.

Understanding Things You Once Didn't

Hi my dear readers. Do you believe when I say I have so many things to write but I just couldn't find the right "ambiance" to write them? So here I am again. I feel that I miss so many good topics but lets just go with the flow with this one.

Actually, there are a lot of reflections that took place in my mind recently. Did I tell you guys about this older lady who came to my place by chance, and I found out she was one of those who receive special ability from God. Okay, skip all the skepticism. I first found this lady 2 years ago, and only 2 weeks ago she came back to my place. It's from talking to her that I start to open my mind about new things about life, through faith in God. I can't help but think that she is some kind of a blessing. For a person who has a lot of questions in her head, don't you think I need someone who has a lot of answers? So far, I can say, she could be that person. Lets make a summary to the whole thing.

It's from her that I begin to think that, I should stop eating meat on Fridays again. I used to do it before, but stopped for a long time, after I began to not seeing how it can add up to my faith in God, etc. I also read that it's only compulsary for abstinent or fasting on meat on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The lady didn't particularly tell me anything about eating meat on Fridays, but then my instinct tells me that I SHOULD not. She told me the reason how she got the "ability to see things during her prayers" is because SHE PRAYS. Everyday she must pray 3 prayers; 1. Rosary, 2. Divine Mercy, 3. Seven Sorrows. And these big prayers have their own promises and she BELIEVES that she will get those rewards from her faith. She's been doing the daily prayers for years before she finally received the ability. She did mention that praying is not enough. Prayers must not be on the lips alone, but you must also be "The Doer Of The Word" (Pelaku Firman). So not just refraining from making sins, we must also SACRIFICE, or be willing to go through suffering in order to be following Him. Ah, you must think this is ridiculous. But when she mentions about how Jesus died on the cross for us, for our sins, then you know what she means by that. We also have our on CROSS in lives. CROSS is the suffering or difficulties in life that we have to carry on our shoulder. So the question is, will you carry the cross, with your faith in God still standing strong? Or will we give up on Him, thinking that He has abandoned us? All those things. Then this starts a lot of reflections that took place recently. So back to eating meat on Fridays, now you get what I mean? What do I do for God, daily? Do I pray day and night? I only pray every morning. The rest of the "talking" with God is not a proper prayer. In fact, I slip my praying times while I do things so I can do two things at once. Why is it so hard to even have a special time just for God? Knowing that I have not done much, I want to improve. Not eating meat on last Friday was a little struggle too, cos they were more meat options to cook than fish. Especially when I cook for other people too, I need to make them like the no-meat day from the dish that I cook. So that's the challenge. I did it last friday, but next friday, I must explain them why we SHOULD TRY to not eat meat on that day, because we are capable of so many things in life, and why not we sometimes do things with God as our intention. Let's try it!! It's so little compared to the things we ask Him daily, and He always listens. I guess God must feel so delighted to see that we might be a bunch of lost sheep who tried something to come home. You get what I mean.

And also, when I thought of some suffering that I went through, no matter through betrayal or through frustration, I suddenly give them "A NOD". I did not hate them that much anymore. I stop questioning God repeatedly WHY He let bad things happen to me despite asking for His blessings everyday. I know that the devil does his work everytime by reminding me "TO DOUBT" in God's love for me from all the past pain which wound still there. But suddenly I feel so relieved that those things happened to me cos I went through them and still my faith in God is unshaken. In fact, it's God that brings me up again. The more I ask for guidance, the more I realize that WHAT I WANT MIGHT LEAD ME THE WRONG WAY and thats why He has to let my heart break so I can fix that. These blessings in disguise, I KNEW IT :))

Lets unfold more things in the next post. Stay put, you guys. God bless. *winks

  

Your Hands Are The Gold Mine!!

Remember how many times that you delayed some of the important things to run, just because you rely on some other people to do it? That you have to follow their times to get things done. And worse is, other tasks have to wait too. And when finally someone does it, sometimes it's not working and you still have to fork your money despite your dissatisfaction. Remember such experiences?

I have issues with my hair today. Suddenly I want it cut so badly. But I remember the experiences that I had before with the salon. One experience of hairstylist who took only 5 minutes, not making any changes to my hair, and when I started to complain, she raised her voice saying that it looked good enough so no need to cut more. Garsh, she knew what I wanted more than I did? If I said I wanted to go bald, that's my hair, that's my head and I pay for it. She has no freaking right to argue about what I want since I pay for it, right? It was a bitter experience because I decided to just pay and walk out since the chinese lady was much older. The other time, another Mrs-Know-All because when I told her I wanted to keep my hair long, but just to give some style to it, she didn't care. She cut all she wants, from waist to shoulder length, and told me if she cut just a bit, it won't show so she just cut away heartlessly without taking into account my request "to keep my hair long". I lost my long hair just like that and paid her for doing that. Can you imagine my frustration on my hair alone? So that's why I trust less people to deal with my hair. So after a bit of thinking, I decided to just go ahead cut my hair myself. Considering that long hair is easy to cut since it's  more accessible to different angles, so I just followed some tutorial about styling my own hair. Viola! It's done! I might not do it like a pro barber but This is my Hair, and I know how much my hair means to me, and whatever that I do with my hair, it's after that consideration. And those are My Hands who cut it. Whatever mistake that I might do, at least it was done performed by some stranger who thinks they know better.

I remember that My Two Precious Hands have done so many good things in my life. I am the type who hold the toolbox, the hammer, the nail, the screwdriver; things that only men do. I do that simple toolboxing work because I can't help to rely on others too much because I can't follow their time. So, as a result, I learned another and another skill to Do-It-Myself and thats why I become quite independent. That's just the extra. Not to mention what my hands do in my job. My two little hands. All the compliments that I get from my customers, it's My Two Little Hands that did the jobs. So now you tell me, don't you realize that you have A Gold Mine attached to your body? You can do ALOT with it. If you use it well, you can make a fortune. Dont you know that, and feel grateful that you have these hands?

That's why, never underestimate yourself because skills can be learned. But not everyone who have hands, use them so well. They dont know that they can rely less on people. They don't know that they can even make wonders with their hands. Do great things and all the possible things. One should never complain that they are helpless when they are jobless. Those hands are your Gold Mine, people!! Start getting golds from using them and you know, these are among the most useful gifts made with our body. Thank God for these two hands! And help us to use them well, to do good things, to help us improve our lives and possibly make a difference! Thank you, Lord! Alleluia!

My Imperfections And Beyond...

You, Me, Them, Everyone - None of us are perfect. Why are we so bothered by it, anyway? One time in this life, we be the judge of others. It's fun doing it right? It's fun to be putting marks from head to toe, marking what's quite not right, and what's totally wrong. Yeah, some of us done that too often. And that's why, we are bound to get a good evaluation from others too. In fact, some of us are spending our lifetime to just be good in others eyes for the sake of that "evaluation of perfection". To those who are still trapped in this, what do you guys feel?

I gradually find comforts in my imperfections. Why? Because, one, No matter what I do, I can never be perfect to my own eyes, or to anybody's eyes, cos I'm just human, and humans are not created to be perfect. We are sinners. We sin, we break rules, we are full of weaknesses. No matter how kind can you be or how sympathetic or charitable you are - yes, you are still imperfect. That's the fact. Do we forget that?

I start to love my imperfections not because I try to live in denials, but because I don't see my imperfections as "abnormality" since everyone has them, remember? So the difference now is that, I learn how to be make peace with them, to be more comfortable with them, and walk with them without much shame. Because what I am born with or I am born as, they are the list of blessings God gave to me. I am thankful for so many million things. I have my hands and legs. I am healthy. I have my wonderful family. I have a good shelter to come home to. I have a job I love doing. Oh man. That and so many more things! All the details of things can't simply ruin my blessings. I may have my shortcomings. My short temper. My talkativeness. Many others. I don't say I'm proud of them cos I'm not but I realize that some of the things in my blood, are not really meant to be gone from  my life. My challenge is to put them under control, and to not let them spoil my relationship with people, and I have to watch my weaknesses very closely so they don't get the better of me. Why, do I expect my life will be completely off struggles eventually? No. NO. These struggles of imperfections will always be there along the way. That's why we need to keep in touch with our values; something not easy to do but DO-ABLE. That and many more, I don't need to elaborate. You should know. 

I've been there in the stage of life where I liked to impress, I liked to show the good sides of me only so I could get compliments, so I could get flattered to smile about, but then, I guess I'm done with that. I want to do something else. Every morning I wake up, and say my thankfulness to God for this gift of LIFE. I am just so extremely thankful to be alive. I MEAN IT. Maybe because my thankfulness has switched to something more "Real" than ever. Then I start to love everything about my life. Even my weaknesses. My imperfections are like "AN ART" of God's wisdom, to just give each of us something to struggle with. And I accepted that. I AM DONE trying to bother about their evaluations. Cos I realize that when I'm happy, others have no freaking idea how happy I am or what is it that makes me happy. Same with when I'm sad. Nothing that they can do to understand, let alone to sooth me or make me feel better. I decide that I just know SO MUCH about this life of mine. Much much more than anyone who are busy judging me. So when I decided to just "Be This Way", it's when the FUN begins. You can sit down and enjoy the show of how many fake people can't stand to be there. They like the version of you who only pleases them. They love it when you put yourself in suffering just so you can make them feel good being around you, and all that stuff. Don't you want to try and SEE, who are there FOR REAL? 

Nowadays, given this (limited) maturity and wisdom, I love to watch how people judge me and how they deal with their judgment. I remember when a senior came to me and told me that she thought my hair was too messy and long and I should change it to this and that, I felt offended a bit. But then come again now and say what you think, it won't bother me a bit. What I know is I love this God-given hair that I have. If you don't like it, it's not my hair's fault. There are a lot of people who are struggling with hair loss, and me who have this thick hair, have to listen to some people who are bothered by it, when I should 100 times be thankful that I even have hair, when some people are spending money just to grow theirs. It's the same with other things. I am so thankful that when I am able to see it this way, I also can be more acceptable to other people's imperfections. Although I don't always deal with them positively, but I know it's better to avoid judging people and leave them alone, rather than punishing and blaming them for being what God created them to be. You don't live on their skin to know exactly who they are, and what they have gone through. You are NOBODY to judge people like you know them forever. 

Who cares if people don't think you are smart enough, you are pretty enough, you are attractive enough, cos the fact is that, you won't get all thumbs in everything. I can freaking assure you that there's NOTHING that you can do to make everyone approves everything about you. No freaking way. SO stop wasting your time. This is the time when you claim honesty, sincerity; from people - this is the only way you gonna get them! Cos people who you have to impress for them to be around you, are NOT WORTH IT. Expect to regret a fake affection which you got from faking attraction. Just move easily with the "package" that you come with, and look at your mom, your dad, your sisters, your brothers, they love you no matter what. These people can name many things you lack, but their love are not conditional to that. You see, these people do exist. The millions people out there can disagree with them, but you don't live with this people. You don't know these people. These people don't know you. They are also bothered by too much imperfections with themselves and their own lives. 

PLEASE MAKE PEACE WITH YOURS. Once you can do this, consider that this is the best gift of reality. Do not worry, my dear friends. At the end of the day, You Will Never Be Good Enough To Those Who Don't Love You, and to those who love you, there's nothing that you can do that will simply change that. Do Not Worry. Be Yourself, and Be Loved For The Right Reasons...:))

God Bless!!

Money Rolling System: A Fantasy Profit?

There are a lot of money rolling schemes organized by Fb people. My sis in law joined a few, and when she described it at first, you invest RM500, you get RM900 in two weeks. Sounds tempting. Another one is even more. Invest RM 1,500 and you get RM3,000 in 5 days. They asked me to join because they wanted their families to get some profit too. Then I asked my sis in law, how do they multiply the money? Nobody can answer me. What they know, they can't resist getting their money multiplied in a short time, as promised by the schemes. They did mention that this doesn't involve any investment outside the group, it's just plainly money rolling from the members. That got me even skeptical. If they tell me they have somekind of investment outside, maybe they could get fresh money pumped in. But since no, How? A will get B + C's money, B will get D + E's money and so on, but each time, Admin will pose a certain Admin fee. Lets say, who invest RM500, should get RM1000 but only get RM900 because the RM100 is the admin fee. So the equation is no longer valid, because 

The money in the cycle is not anymore in the same value because the admin will take out bit by bit of the rolling money.

This is the simplest form of understanding and nobody wants to think about it. When people stop investing, the payment will stop too. The members will blame the admin. The admin thinks he's innocent, it's the members' fault for not investing back. Those who got their money are normal people too. They will need to use the money so u can't expect people to only care about your money rolling scheme when they have real stuff to care about, kids, family, car, house etc. So, I just finished reading a big quarrel of a money rolling group where I was dragged in but I never involved myself - the language they use, hurt one another. The admin defends herself, the others want their money back, the rest just become the peacemakers. Many claimed to still have capital of RM3K-RM4 stuck in the group. Do they know why? Can't they foresee it?

Answer is simple. This scheme is not realistic to begin with. One shouldn't even start it. Those people with hard-earned money, u guys shouldn't join this at all. Small money is okay, rather than lose that small money and have none at all. Cos the so-called "help each other responsibility" basis, since when it is so easy to put people in a system led by virtue? Especially when it involves Money, the chief of all evil. So I feel pity to those who think they start a group with a good intention, and then those who hope that they can change their lifestyle from this scheme.  Someone like me won't simply join a group like this because I saw it with my own eyes, there's no such thing as easy money, I know how hard it is to earn money and I don't expect to ridicule it by making expectation that what I earn in months I can simply get by this kind of method. So, in the end, how to solve it so that everyone will leave in peace when the group stops working? The admin should know, the real responsibility of starting a fire is you don't just scream for help and disappear in the jungle. The Admin has to PAY BACK all the capital the remaining members have, and that's the admin fees all about. I bet they can get thousands of ringgit when the group just started. Sorry, but thats the only way. Pay everyone their money without dividend and close the group with the consent of everyone, and admit that this system is a failure to begin with and nothing would ever work with it as fair as they claimed. Don't forget to bring with them a lifetime lesson.

Go work your butt off and earn the money with your sweat, stop hallucinating that getting rich is a simple "money rolling" business cos it obviously is not!! Get real people!!

Why Pick One When You Can Have More?

This is what happened to me today. I must say that I am not the luckiest person in the world in terms on fortune. But then for someone who has "my kind" of ego, maybe it keeps me on the ground. Too often that I find myself in a situation that I don't have much, to even rightfully boast about anything. So today when all opportunities come to me at once, I asked myself, Is this for real? So the usual case is that, I could only pick one that's the closest my hands can reach, and just be happy with it while letting the rest go. 

Today is different. After some very serious prayers, I saw that I have the option to have them all. Which I could not see it if I don't use my wisdom well. But luckily, I managed to decide on time. I thought that by getting all these good businesses lately, I almost make that as an excuse not to attend Palm Sunday, when I could use that quality time at the church, to pray and say thankfulness to God. Why would I use God's grace to spend less time with him? I didn't even do so well with my Lent season so far, I should feel the need to really honour the Holy Week to make up for all that. 

So today,  I managed to attend Palm Sunday with a grateful heart, without losing my business opportunities. Maybe I just got used to too much mind torturing that I could not believe that I could pull it through. Maybe because of all my shortcomings that I am not happy about, I tend to look down at myself. Luckily I keep my "eyes for God" awake. It's that which doesn't keep me drifted away too far from what's proper. 

But this post is to tell you guys One Thing. That GOD does answer prayers. No No, I know you know but you gonna forget that again just like me, so let me remind ourselves once again that really, GOD does have so much mercy for us, even when we think we are the most undeserving creature we know. It's not me that makes me deserve that, but it's God that answered my prayers and pour His mercy on me. He knows how important it is for me, and suddenly I realize that this is how He often "bailed me out" of every tough situations. Most of the times He didn't give me what I want, but He sent help in different way, to make the situation bearable for me. In the end I just know it's His work.

So when you are given so many opportunities, like answered prayers that come at once, maybe God doesn't mean that you need to choose one, but He wants to see how badly you want them. Would you come up with a solution that makes you win, and He wins too? Maybe that's what He wants. I think I do the right thing today by acknowledging that the good things that happen to me recently, none of them are my own work. It's HIS. So I should spend time for Him, and don't worry so much about missing anything, since it's also from Him that all those come from. 

Thank You Lord, Thank You :)

They Say Being Holy Doesn't Make You A Good Person

So does that mean it's okay to just never go miss weekly masses so we can oversleep from too much fun activities from the night before? Does it mean that it's okay to never sacrifice even a bit of time for God so we can have time to attend to all our activities? Is it okay to never feel guilty to go by with our days without the thought of God in our head, until we face difficulties?

My first impression when I read the sentence in the topic is, I wonder if people make that excuse to just ignore their obligation as a follower of a religion. But then, actually the sentence is very true. Because a lot of people use their religious obligations as "a payback" for not doing good things outside the church. Some of them might think that this can justify or make up for the not-so-good things that they have done. It's like, it's okay to be bad, cos I'll ask for forgiveness when I go to church this Sunday.

So what makes someone a good person? My mom was a Pagan before until she reached certain age. In fact, when all of us have grown up. I often asked myself that time, Does being a no-religion person, makes my mom a bad person? My logic mind tells me, No way.  After all the good things we learn from school, and the idea of what the religion asks us to do, No way that God will hate someone kind just because she doesn't have a certain religion. So that time, my mom never followed any of our religious activities, and she didn't know how to pray, and who to pray to. Until she was baptized, and attended classes, she slowly learned. Now, she's even more religious than us. Her way of treating her religion, reminds me of how a kid should be when he first attends school. He will listen to what the teacher say, he will follow all rules and what he wants is to be a good boy, because that's what the parents tell him. I'm happy for her development. She even reminded us to kneel when we pray before the mass begins, and say prayer before meal - things that we learnt much earlier than she did. Just that, most of turn into rule-breakers when we are through with that school-kid level. Some of us just find our own ways to do things. Maybe we think that we don't necessary have to kneel when praying, cos we want to just sit and "have a talk" with God without having to endure knee pain from too much kneeling. Or we rather say our thankfulness short and simple, without having to necessary do the Sign of Cross, which will let others know that we are praying. At my level now, I must admit that I do get a bit "too used" to rules of how-people-usually-do-it. I rather not follow too much of it cos some of them, I just fail to relate or connect. I want to be sincere in what I do. I don't want to fake-faith tho I can lie to people, but never to God. So again, back to the topic. What makes someone a good person?

When the person speaks good words? When someone helps others in need? When someone put others first before himself? I guess you know the answer. A good person is someone who does good things to others. As simple as that. I don't want to make any conclusion. I just want to say that, for someone who believes in God, who has a religion, who knows what religion is, who admits to others that I belong to this certain religion;- maybe that sentence is not applicable to me. Cos my faith is already part of my "good world". Other than my own conscience, my faith helps be to be in the right track. If I leave it, how good can I be? :)

My Emotional Thoughts For You, MH370

I woke up on a Saturday, 2 weeks ago, hearing about a missing plane, I was like, "Seriously?" We don't hear this kind of news often. In fact, just once in my lifetime so far. A plane involving Malaysia Airlines System. Our very own airline company. A big name since as long as I can remember. So on that same morning, before I could get deeper into the emotion of "disbelief", I read in the Fb comments about the plane landed safely in Nanning, China. I remember breathing out a breath of relief, THANK GOD!!! But it was short-lived when it was declared a hoax. One hoax news after another. Now for 14 days still in the dark about the whereabouts of MH370. We all know that everyone is grieving. Everyone is crying out, Please come home, MH370!!

Since day one, I keep myself glued to the news feed as long as I am awake. I remember getting "resistance syndrome" to my handphone screen from looking at it for too long. I felt like vomiting. I guess the emotion and curiosity add up to the stress. Day by day. I come to my workplace, I turn on the tv just to hear any talks about MH370. Yes, I follow quite closely about anything related to it. Everytime Wanita Hari Ini plays that sad poem about MH370, my eyes become. If you ask me, this is a very emotional thing for me. I understand that 239 people inside there, they have a lot of people who love them. If I can feel this way, imagine their family members! It's unbearable to even imagine it!

I am just like any of you, trying to come up with my own theory, what could have happened to the plane. From all the details collected, the assumptions are neverending. And this will continue so until they have discovered the plane. At one time, I just thought that, ENOUGH!! Please MH370, can you just come home? Can I just wake up one morning and saw the news that you have just landed KLIA an hour or two ago, with everyone's safe and sound? And the whole day would be tears of joy on the news everyday. And of course, the big thankfulness to the Lord above who makes it possible. IF ONLY... If Only...

This matter is in my mind all the time. I even dreamt it for it a few times already. But my dreams were not clear. They were clustered with my too much concern on their safety. What I know, I woke up from the dream feeling positive, "Did they actually find the plane?" Oh, Not Yet. Day by day...imagine that. 

I don't have to list all the speculations - but as much as I think that the Hijack theory sounds a better one when it comes to the possibility of survival, I would not mind to pick that. But then when they start to point fingers at the pilot(s), I don't feel good about it. But yes, at one point, I admit that I wanted so much to blame the pilots cos they were the ones who drive the plane. It's just so easy to blame them, right? But enough with speculations. We need THE TRUTH. 

Then I came across a theory which I think is very logic and realistic too. It's about how the plane was caught on fire and that failed all types of communication, and it changed direction to land at Pulau Langkawi's airport, but something bad happened before they managed to do that, so the plane ran on autopilot, and until it ran out of fuel, it went down to the sea. As much as I think this theory is simpler, and logical, it breaks my heart so hard. The survival of the 239 is EVERYTHING. 100 of planes like that can just go missing but PLEASE, we don't want any lives to go. They went to that plane with a destination, with a lot of plans, and dreams, and NO, we can't accept that they lose life in the middle of all that.

I know that everyone has been praying so hard. I do include in my little prayer, Oh Lord, please save the people in MH370. I'm sure others' voice are louder than mine. I know that God is in control. I know that when we ask for their safe return, WE MEAN IT. We really mean it! I might be whispering, but He who created me, and everyone on this Earth, can even hear my heart speak, and the sound of my every thought. Sometimes I just don't get strong enough with my voice, cos I know God knows how big our hope is. I know He Is Able. The question now is, is our will His? I'm just wondering if He would grant this one prayer of ours. Not that He could not. But we know that sometimes God wants it differently. We just don't know what He wants this time. This wait is agonizing. Trying to figure out what God wants to be the end for this MH370 mystery. Yes, He listens to prayers. Not even once that I doubt it. I'm just curious if we did so many wrong things that made Him do this. But isn't it good, that we have God? Imagine those who don't believe, it's just plainly sadness, and waiting in agony. They won't get that kind of peace that only can come from Faith in God.

God, I don't know if I say another prayer, would you send us a miracle? You don't need to prove your power God, we already know about it. But we need this miracle, God. And I'm sure, with this miracle, you will open a lot of eyes of the disbelievers. This will mean a lot to the blind hearts, who are among the hopefuls too. Difference is, they don't believe in miracles, but we do. Please God, Please. Please heal our pain on MH370. You will not disappoint us Lord. You will not. I fully believe in you :)

Cooking With Love...

I still remember years ago when I got attacked by this extraordinary stomach pain, which I could not get any night sleep for almost 2 weeks. I asked my dad to pick me up from the hostel in the dark morning. I could see the look on his face especially. He even went to the chapel the day after, which we could guess, to pray for my recovery. I could never understand how they feel that time. But now I think I understand. 

Last nite, my dad got sick. His sore throat got worse after Ash Wednesday mass last night. Today on our way home from work, my sister told me my dad's sickness is kinda bad, unlike the usual. He did go to the clinic with my brother earlier today. I suddenly became too concerned and worried. I wanted to go home quickly to check on my dad's condition. I went quick to the supermarket and bought some foods, including instant lemon tea, which I know is good for sore throat. My dad is one very unselfish man. So unless he's really in very bad condition, he won't ask for your favour. I came home and saw my dad sleeping at the living room. He realized that I just arrived, and I asked him if he wanted some porridge. He said No. Told you. He won't make a request that he thought might burden you. That's my dad. But I didn't care, I just straight ahead and cooked porridge really fast without him knowing. My parents used to think that my kind of cooking is only for the guests, or whoever that come to visit, or during celebration. Not for normal days like today. 

As I was preparing on cooking the porridge, my eyes became teary when I remember when I was sick before, it was my two parents who were preparing the porridge. Maybe their hearts were heavy too, thinking about my condition that time. So I found myself in their place now, making the porridge with A Great Hope and I don't know why, that time I thought that the porridge I was preparing was Really Gonna Heal him. I prepared it with the thoughts that all the nutrition he needs would be in the porridge. So I made sure I cooked the way I cooked for some special visitors or guests in our house. I did it all in half an hour. I made hot lemon tea, and squeezed some lemon into it to add to the acidic effect. That is what will react to the virus on the throat. I know this for sure cos this is my most common disease. I have learnt all the self defense possible against it. So I put it on the table and asked my dad to drink the lemon tea, and he did. After he drank it, he could clear his throat and talked a bit. I knew it worked. So after that, I kept asking him to eat the porridge, though he said he was not hungry. But he just couldn't resist my request. He took some of the porridge and ate it. I knew it by the time he ate it, it would heal him. Or at least make his sickness ease up. In the meantime, I wanted my dad to not think that his sickness is that bad. I kept telling them how I was healed from a serious sore throat before. How I thought my throat was wounded, but nope. It was just the sickness that made it feel so bad. And how I ate a few kinds of medicine for 2 weeks, and none worked. Until I ate this Breacol, bought from the pharmacy, and only my throat started to heal. Guess what? It was my dad who bought the Breacol for me. He forgot that he was behind my recovery a lot of time when I got sick. I thought that Breacol was just an ordinary medicine, but when a caring and responsible dad who bought it for his kid to heal, it made the medicine more effective. I don't know. Lets just assume that kind of magic exist. 

Because of all the cares, all the appreciation and faith, that's how I could almost feel it was more than just food and drink that I prepared for him. Plus, all my prayer for their health, and protection from God, I did not doubt that God is answering to my every prayer, especially when I say it everyday. If I can love my family that much, God must love them more. And so He will heal my dad. Maybe that's what they call Cooking With Love. It's foods that you prepare not just to bite or to fill the stomach, but also you pour all your thoughts of love as you prepare them. Cook for their happiness and wellbeing of the people who eat them. These are the additional ingredients that will make the food work wonders, and taste better too!

So guys, next time you know what to do. Get in the kitchen, and prepare a "magic potion". When it comes to your loved ones, you certainly have the ability! Stay healthy everyone! :))