The Reminiscence of Halfway Thru 2011

Since last month, a few individuals have brought up about 2011 being A BAD YEAR not only for them, but for most people. These people have just broken up so we understand that life might not look too neat to them that time… but to say that 2011 is a bad year, like what I told them, “It was not even mid year. It’s not fair to label 2011 that early.” The most I pity are these people who have lost faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, as if they were saying the rest of the months are going to be Lifeless for them. Come ON. Are you kidding me?

Not gonna give the same kind of motivational preach this time. I TRUST you guys can handle it from there. Today I did a lot of thinking. My mind was recalling back memories that I had at the same month, last year. Is my life better now, than the same month last year? The answer is gonna be interesting. The answer is NO. Should I join those who said that 2011 is a bad year? I mean, could it be that what they said is going to be true? ErrmMMM…NO WAY. No that fast.

In my deepest thought, I could not lie to myself that last year, same time, my life was so much adventurous than this. I also couldn’t believe that “That was me” and it was only last year when things were looking so different. I was A Different Person. Oh man. Was that even me? I remember that I was considered half floating half walking. There were things that I did with me being half awake. Seriously. Last year was filled with excitement compared to same time this year. My oh My. Am I close to labeling 2011 being dull and less lively? Okay. NOT YET.

I took my time recalling back the people I have in my life. Other than my family and my closefriends, some places were taken by different people. Maybe these people made my life looking so interesting that time. It was worth remembering although it wasn’t a good ending. Okay enough with that. Now I want to identify why THIS YEAR isn’t that interesting? Have I lost my sense of humour? Have I lost my ground to enjoy life that I give myself a boring life this year? Cos it’s clearly my own doing, ya see. I can’t blame others why my life is not as interesting as before. I can’t blame my surrounding for making it less adventurous. I can’t blame it on other people why they are not around to make my life looking that excited.

But it’s only July, guys. Don’t talk about next month, you don’t even know what gonna happen tomorrow, or the day after that. There are a few months to make A Big difference to 2011. Although I can say that compared to same time last year, this year is considered gloomy but I can expect some “explosion” in the months to come. I have FAITH that 2011 is gonna ba A GREAT YEAR for me. Maybe it’s a slow start but again, it’s about how we end it. At the end of the day, don’t you think 90% of it comes from us?

Oh man. Come to think about it…I totally underestimate my 2011 so far. Yeah, maybe I had some adventures last year but look, I am enjoying myself now. I can’t believe that typing half of this post, without the realization that This year so far has done wonders to me. The new people that come to my life, they are a lot of fun. Maybe it was just my fault for not giving it all the justice it deserves. My work is doing good, although I deal with a few crooked friends, but my customers are giving me trust like never before. I guess, all the effort of being strong in the past years finally starting to pay back. This year, opportunities are open in such a way that I can advance myself so much better than years before. Also, I feel like I am more IN CONTROL of my life. It‘s always about me, what I want, what I decide and how I make things happen. Being another year more mature, I handle things so well. No more prolonged cold wars, emotionally or physically. I have faced situation that can turn me into a mad cow, but it didn’t happen that way. Instead, I refuse to blow it up and accepted that some conflicts could caused by my own mistakes too. Oh gosh. I am on my way to become a much better individual. How can I not thank God for that.

What a silly thing to do when I have great people telling me of my worth, although I always want to deny it, why don’t I just really consider that they really mean it. It’s not like I have another lifetime for all that. IT’S NOW…OR Never. Now I have the answer. I have almost full power to DO IT and turn this year into a Superb year. Now that we know we have this power, don’t you want to use it? GO USE IT and MAKE THIS 2011 BIG in History. 

We have a mission, guys. Good Luck. :))

My Hair Kind Of Red

Anybody can go to the hair saloon and have their hair dyed. Everyone can do it as long as you set aside some budget for your hair cos it surely gonna cost something. The other question is, THE COLOUR that you pick for your hair. I am quite an experimental person but I can't be too brave. I always like RED range. My hair has experimented a few kinds of RED. Red has a wide range, sometimes you can't even detect the difference at first glance.

This kind of Red is also a brave pick, although not the bravest so far. I remember 2 years ago I pick this kind of red that almost "barbie-doll like" because you could see this red in the dolls' hair.I mean, darn. I ended up going out using my cap. *LOLS. But when I asked my friend, "Do I look like an Alien?" She refused to say, Yes. She kept saying, "It looks nice bah" but some time later she mistakenly made the remark that "the kind of hair was a bit punky" (Yeah, and I know how to spell funky Hahahaha. What I mean is, Punk-like...Erks) No MORE that kind of RED!! Hahaahhaa

So this is finally the colour that is adored by many of my friends, even customers even relatives. My mom and my sister won't have much to say about my hair colour, just as long as they said once that my "Medusa hair looks good" - I'm fine with it. Hahahaha. (My Medusa Hair is what I used to call my curly hair cos when it gets too messy, I don't know if I look like I Medusa, but I feel like a Medusa. Hehehehe)

I can take a 100 of pics but it's not easy to get the picture that truly shows the real kind of red that my hair has now. This picture is almost Very Accurate. I am so sorry because the pic happened to be "Just Hair" so no matter if I was trying to smile cute at the camera, this snap ignored it. Darn it. I have to candid my own pictures at different angle and see if I get the colour right. I purposely make some part of the picture blur so you won't see the mess in my office...hehehehe.

 

Although I have received good comments about this colour, I never believe that Hair colour can be that much of your appearance. To me, it's about you and your own hair. If you feel good when you look at the mirror, that's enough. I'm just lucky the rest like it. Even if they don't, I will still like my hair. My hair is such a blessing. Just to have this hair to cover my head...Oh God, Thanks. Especially to have this thick hair, and now that it's waistlength, it's everything I ask for a hair...hehehe. Okay, shall I end this short post with something about hair, well, lets just use this. "Love your hair and your hair will love you." Thank you. *LOLS. Have fun everyone :))

Bersih 2.0: My Ignorable Views

Trust me I think more than twice to write this. In the midst of anger and rebel of the people from the incident happened in 9th July 2011, commentary like this is considered insensitive and radical. Me again. It’s me again.

 

Let’s talk about politics. You want Clean Politics? Where in this world you can find such thing? If our Election has really “lost it”, trust me the Government won’t be too generous to give 5 States to the Opponents. Trust me, with all the money that they have, they could actually make the Opponents disappear altogether and not be able to further poison the people. It shows you that our Country, is NOT in “that very bad” state yet. If you think I am a pro-gov to be saying all this, the answer is NO.

I tell you a little bit of history. I, as one of the Sabahans, have even BIGGER reasons to slam the Federal (Government) for squeezing our wealth and still leave us THE POOREST state in Malaysia. If you think I don’t go to school, you are wrong. Maybe I’m not like most of you, who read everything about politics, and memorise every details and chronology. Sorry, I don’t do that. But I do know about the major issues of misconduct involving the Leaders of both Government and Oppositions. I do analyze and I DO WANT TO KNOW. Even 2 of my uncles are UMNO’s leaders in their respective areas. One of them passed me a form of Puteri UMNO, and expected me to fill it in, not asking me if I am even UMNO supporter. The form was left there for years and I refuse to fill it. The rest of them filled the form out of “familyship”. I’m not like them. I somehow have this “grudge” against this ruling party because of what the Federal did to Sabah. Trust me, I am not siding the Government in this view. I am thinking Logically and Reasonably, like I always do.

Yes maybe they Government is NOT being good enough. Or are they being good but we think it’s NOT enough? Maybe economically, we are robbed by the Federal. And the living proof is many areas in Sabah are still without electricity and roads. Yes, you can keep saying that. Keep bringing up their failures. Trust me I KNOW their weaknesses too. And for THIS reason, I NEVER VOTE my whole life. I think that my voice is just too small to change anything. Or…is there something else? I think that No matter how patriotic I want to be, they will still be the ruling party. You know what most Sabahans from my place want? We want someone like Pairin to rule Sabah. Who is a non-Muslim, who is a Kadazan, who talks our native language and who is from Sabah itself. That’s what they wanted. Can we get that? Can we?? We must consider that Malaysia is an Islamic country. And maybe Pairin can still be Chief Minister of Sabah; that if he is the still the Opposition, PBS. Maybe he realized that his fight might end in vain if he KEEPS FIGHTING a battle he could not win. Sabah would go down with him. The Opponents are politically the enemies of the Government so you know whoever led by Oppositions, the Government “make them suffer” and see for themselves that the Oppositions can’t give them much, anymore than the Government can. So the best move is to JOIN with the Government and not being treated “a black sheep”. He has tried and he has once won. The reality is TOUGH. Now Sabah is back with the Government. What if that’s the only best way for Sabah?

Let’s get back to Bersih 2.0. I was in awe looking at some of the civilians who went on the road, especially those who were old and even disabled – even sick and not healthy, joining the rally. I would be called evil if I dare to say that this could just be “A Show” by the Opposition. They paid some people from all walks of life, and made them join the Rally, and made it look like the rally was supported by all Malaysians. We never know, right? Okay, I’m evil to say that. Ok Fine, lets just assume they really came for the good cause. To Support A Clean/Fair Election. What these people don’t know is, it’s just too simplified to want “A Clean Election” after all the dirty tricks made by both Government and Oppositions. Those who are rallying with you, are you sure they are practicing it too? Just because they make it a national issue to demand Clean Election from the Government, does that make them the Fair Players? Maybe these people on the street assuming too much and what they know they are with their good intention and all the people who are with them should be on the right side. Ehmmm…THINK AGAIN. If one day the Opposition rules Malaysia, how do you know they don’t play dirty too? How do you know? Oh, then I hear a voice saying, “That’s why we should give them a chance to show that they can be a better leader than the Government now! We never try, we never know!!!” OMIGAWD. Are you or are you not kidding me?

Even among the Pakatan Rakyat themselves, they keep disagreeing with each other. They should be strong if they combine but seems like they have different way of achieving their goal. They have issues that could not be compromised. Maybe most of you think that I judge Datuk Anwar on his misconduct of sodomy charges and the latest one was the sex video. NO. I don’t. I thought that his sodomy case was a Universe joke. I imagine that when more hardcore explicit sexual acts are done every minute, now a guy, was actually slaving himself to the court just to hear the case that he is facing charging by penetrating some other guy’s backside and he’s going to jail for that. I mean. I am seriously wanting to laugh at all this. While they are busy doing the trial, there are many more guys doing the same thing at the different places and they will do it again and again because it’s just “too common” for them. It’s not like it’s an act of crime that kills another human although it’s considered a violation of religious law especially for the Muslims. I even saw the sex video and guess what, I laughed again. I saw a guy who is NOT him, but has a bit of his resemblance from certain angle. I actually called Datuk T stupid for making a fool out of themselves. From making people half believe that he actually did involve in sodomy, they actually lose the other half when they use the video to higlight on different thing and it was not even concrete. Or I still could say that my eyes lied to me. It could be him. The same with the rumour about Najib and Rosmah’s involvement in the murder case of Altantuya Sharibuu. It’s said that it was Rosmah who murdered the model out of anger and jealousy. People have been talking and some even presented believable motives, STILL, the accused are denying . The truth is out there, but certainly NOT reachable by us. So if you want to assume that Najib's case is true, don’t you think you should assume Anwar’s cases are true too? We are all getting secondhand stories from sources we don’t know. Do you know all this? THIS IS CALLED POLITICS. Politics are meant to be Dirty. If it’s so clean and following a certain virtue, maybe they call it something else but NOT politics. People like us will be the victim of receiving all these and talk among us and start to have anger when we decide that they are really guilty for the crimes Suddenly we all become “Your Honour” at the court. Are we even that good ourselves?

If you speak about world and sins, this world is getting older. Some of you even believe that it’s gonna end next year. Now are you speaking of Undoing all these overlymessed situations? Malaysia is not a new country. We have come to almost 54 years being independent and This UMNO has been the ruling party since early independence. Tun Abdul Rahman, and then Tun Abdul Razak, who is Najib’s dad, and then Tun Hussien Onn, Tun Mahathir, Pak Lah and now Najib. These are from UMNO. Whatever that you are not satisfied with them, like I have stated earlier on, at least we don’t have to hide inside our house, scared of our safety and we don’t have to die from hunger. We can go to work, we can go have fun in recreational outlets, we can earn extra income if we work hard and we even go to school until we get our PHD if we are willing to pursue. The world is still talking about Mount Kinabalu and Rafflesia that made our Sabah proud, and we still get to preserve our traditional customs and culture, and Yes, we can go to church and pray without worry. If you are sick, you can go to the Government hospital and pay only RM1 to get your treatment, and for the civil servants, they even get more advantages. Recently, my bro's study loan was converted into scholarship because of  his good result and even his Master degree will be funded by the Government. I mean, the Government isn't so bad in everything. We still get to carry out our life plan, get married, have kids, and savings, have house, have cars. My friends…Don’t you see that? 

 We can sit at the coffee table with our Malay, Chinese and Indian friends, Muslims, Christians, Buddha, Hindu – celebrating each other’s celebration IN PEACE. Whatever that you guys speak about dirty politics, unfair election – that eventually caused the rally of Bersih 2.0 a few days ago, Have you guys overlooked the good things that we have?

What are you worried about? Are you worried that Najib is 100 times richer than you and still he’s using the country’s money to go on vacation? Are you worried that Tan Sri Taib Mahmud has 100 more lands all over the world that you could have in 100 lifetime? Why worry about the things you never own. Have you overlooked that your family can live in peace, have enough to eat and wear and even a proper shelter to live in? I mean, just in case you are so hurtful thinking about the wealth that These Politicians make because of them being greedy and because of them using their position to get rich with what should be channeled to the people. 

Look, whether or not they get the money in a good or bad way, I’m sure as hell they can’t bring them all to grave. I GUARANTEE. Do not feel hurtful anymore. Any politicians, or even normal people like me and you, we can pretend to be nice and kind but we can’t lie to God. We are still held responsible for our deeds and you don’t have to worry cos that’s God’s job.  They be bad, we won't share their sins with them. Let God judge them. So, what actually re the things you should worry about when you are still alive?

Have you ever looked at the other countries where wars and violence become part of their lives? The kids crying at the street, or those where they have to live in famine and extreme poverty? Those people are losing their loved ones anytime and lose their own lives anytime too. Try and say to these people about demanding a Clean Politics/Election from the government, DO YOU THINK IT MATTERS TO THEM? When they have to struggle to be alive another day, it’s when you think that this subject of Trying to FIX the way “how things have been for so many years” – is just like a meaningless dust. These people should know better how UNGRATEFUL we are that when we have EVERYTHING they don’t, we are trying to Raise an Issue (although it’s for a good intention and for a good cause), opening a way for people to GO AGAINTS each other, to express protest publicly and in this game of Superfilthy dirty politics, You never know that this could be used by ANYONE for their own agenda. Now you see how Malaysia is already facing some troubles from the rally. The organizer claimed it was a peaceful Rally. You can claim anything because when it happens, it happens. It would be too late when  bad things happened that day. Now they have a platform of doing it., You never know that some group might use this issue to make fun of us , not that you don't know that our countries have plenty of foreigners and even illegals. They don't care about this country as much as we do but if we are busy arguing, they can just slip in and take advantage of this. That time, when a lot of innocent people killed and injured, it would go back to the Government. Government will  have to answer why such incident is not controlled when we have a so called forced called PDRM. That's why certain measure was taken by the Police before things got too late. The people are now blaming the Police for being violent at the rally participants. OMG. Do you know that if the Police weren’t there, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN? The people were on their own and this could easily turned into a street riot since no one was there to monitor and control them. They have already warned days before that, that this rally was ILLEGAL and asked people not to join or risked being arrested for disturbing peace. Now when the Police did their job, the people used it against them saying that Police were being harsh. Ihat’s HOW THEY DO THEIR JOB because their job is to deal with the offenders. Their job is to KEEP PEACE in our country. Do you ever thank them that we can live in peace all these while? When you go against them, do you expect them to beg each and everyone of you to stop and dismiss the rally? 

One more thing, maybe some of you might say that I am so Unpatriotic, unlike those who went to the street and showed support. For what, again? For a fair Election, right?? Can doing that Do something about a Fair Election? If yes, I would be among the earliest who come there and I’ll make sure my friends and relatives are there too, since we COULD change something with it, right? But not only it can’t change ANYTHING, it even caused public damages, even death, injury and also economic losses because of the impression that was made on our country by the press. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

You must know that Elections are handled by humans too. There are always ways to get something done, and by giving a little money, they might do it. Don’t say that the Opposition never did anything to counterstrike the Government. It’s just unlucky that they are not the ruling party, or they could be doing WORSE. (It’s a reasonable assumption of mine. Aren't you guys familiar with assumptions too?) These are among all the misconducts of human beings. Not only in elections, we cheat and lied everyday, in everything. So when you ask for something like clean elections, it’s like along with this sinful filthy world, you suddenly blame this world Why isn’t Malaysian Government be fair in the elections? You get that now?? You try to fix something that have long gone wrong. This is not about election anymore. It’s human to Sin. Suddenly some people expect a Perfect government, No fraud, No Hanky Panky, Just a straight transparent, kind, generous – all the things that even you yourself are not capable of doing. Even in your own family and marriage, you have to “play dirty” to have a peaceful marriage. You must know what to say and do, to avoid arguments. NOW YOU GO RALLY TO ASK FOR A FAIR ELECTIONS AND CLEAN POLITICS?

My major question to all of you who are so much against the Government. DO YOU HAVE A BETTER CANDIDATE? You mean Anwar? Now since that he has never proven that he walks the talks, DO YOU RISK YOUR 54 Years of fight, to someone whose reputation is badly tarnished; framed or not framed? He has also said empty promises, even silly and unreasonable ones – if you really want to compare him with with Najib’s words being unreliable. My point is, we might want a gold, but what we have in our hands are just silver and steel, Of course we pick the silver since it’s just slightly better, although none of those actually meet our criteria. At LEAST, you and me can still Enjoy life the way we do for how long we’ve been alive, and we are able to do our good deeds (and even bad) and we can even die peacefully in this land. 

I’m sorry if I don’t ask for TOO MUCH. I’m sorry if you think I’m not willing to fight for what is right. In my capacity, I rather channel my virtues to one another. I rather be good to my friends and family and my customers and make sure we are all as happy as can be. In the meantime, I know that I’m still with so much flaws. Sometimes we have to see if it’s worthwhile. to fight. We have other things that need our energy and attention that are within our capability. That’s why we are given this brain to make decisions.

You worry that our future generation gonna get abused by this so-called Abusive Government? This Government has been ruling Malaysia since the early days. Now you can go outside Malaysia and proudly introduce yourself to be A Malaysian. This Government that you people HATE so much, is giving us a comfortable zone to move around and do our right to live as a human. Not that I think we should not give chance to the Opposition, but it’s whether you are Right that they deserve the chance, or we are all going down with them. This issue of Who to rule a country isn’t just something you can simply do Trial and Error. If not, it’s also the same people who gather at the street and chanting for "A Change", directed to this “alternative government” that you opt for as long as you get rid of Barisan Nasional, right?

We are all humans. We hardly survive for 100 years. These politicians, just like us, they will go too. They will be replaced by newer leaders, who might have better ideology. We shall hope for the best that the next PM might be someone who would never let anyone organize a Rally like this to condemn his leadership. Or are we never satisfied and happy with what we have? Are we gonna keep protesting whoever is leading the country thinking that there’s always a better way of running a country? You think for a while. I don’t say that you are not grateful, but the world is getting older, I just want us to put to rest all the elements that makes us go against each other. I always pray to God, thanking him for this life. I’m sure The Peace that we have in this country is part of that good feeling that I have everyday. That’s why I choose to be this way, and so do the rest of them who prefer to stay silent and just watch things done by the highspirited Malaysians who want to see the changes happen. Maybe you call people like us, Selfish? That we want to stay out of trouble? Or maybe we are people who appreciate peace and we are reasonable about our demands in life. Maybe we have experienced people’s different behaviour to finally be reasonable with our expectations of another humans. We Aren’t Angels.

Are you sure you guys are not going for a Perfect Government? I tell you what. It doesn’t exist. You want a Perfect Kingdom, you be a good person and go to heaven. There’s the only place where Perfection exists. If you guys know that you CAN’T HAVE IT ALL, would you still NOT opt for PEACE? Just wondering :)

I’m still thankful to be born in Malaysia. God Bless Malaysia!!!

NOTE: Now that you read my view, time to ignore it. Back to Zero2. Thanks.

My Voice Post

FINALLY!

NOTE: Hahaha, Sorry. I made fun with the pronunciation of the word Conscience. I used to pronounce it that way although I know it's not the right way but let's consider I make it a totally new word... *LOLS...Enjoy and if you think this doesn't sound anything like Train-talking, trust me I watch my speed courteously...*LOLS. Have fun all. NOTE: Maybe this player only works with certain browser but it sure works for Firefox. You can try your browser first, okay.